I tried to think of a limmerick,
But couldnt choose what to put in it,
So decided instead to just go to bed,
And play with my toys for the hell of it.
Entry: There once was a mod from Lovehoney, Whose disposition was always quite sunny. She passed out sex toys, To good girls and good boys, In exchange for reviews, and not money!
COMPETITION ENTRY: There once was a mod from Lovehoney, whose disposition was always quite sunny. She passed out sex toys, to good girls and good boys, in exchange for reviews, and not money!
Lovehoney have a sexpert called Jess
Who, if your sex life's a bit of a mess,
Will give you advice
To spice up your life
And make sure that your sex is the best!
🙂
Ian Chimp wrote:
And yet another one for fun. 🙂
There was a young lady from Gower
Who liked to have fun in the shower
Until she reached for the lube
But grabbed the wrong tube
And now her hand is glued to her flower!
After re-reading this one it should clearly have been about 'a young florist from Gower'. 🙂
There once was a man named Roy
Who fell madly in love with a toy
She was wonderfully plush
With a magnificent bush
Now they're married with three girls and a boy!
🙂
COMPETITION ENTRY. Sex is important as we all know It encompasses the whole body from head to toe I love to surprise, tease and excite With lovehoney its always a good night Sexual happiness means outfits, toys and roleplay and never forgetting everyday is a school day.
COMPETITION There was a man, a Marine. The thought of anal turned him green. The wife implied it. Then he tried it. And now the colons always clean!
COMPETITION ENTRY : A girl who once lived up a skyscraper, Wanted badly to get a vibrator, After a bottle of wine, she took one look online, And saw Lovehoney was a real eye opener!
I heard that she would never say no To oral sex. Just 10 bucks for a blow. But when down on her knees I said "Oh baby please Move up, you're too low, that's my toe
There's a lingerie legend named Sammie
Whose eye for high fashion's uncanny
Though buyer beware
When you walk up the stair
You're going to be flashing your fanny 🙂
I'm clearly having too much fun. 🙂
Just for fun...
There once was a postman called Marcel
Who delivered my weekly brown parcel.
He's too polite to enquire
What I buy as a buyer,
But it's mainly big toys for my arsehole.
COMPETITION ENTRY
Shopping at Lovehoney for toys,
It became clear it's not just for the boys.
The wife found the site and her credit card,
So when we shop together she's wet, I'm hard.
With her toys and my toys, our lifes are now full of joys.
Ian Chimp wrote:
There's a lingerie legend named Sammie
Whose eye for high fashion's uncanny
Though buyer beware
When you walk up the stair
You're going to be flashing your fanny 🙂
I'm clearly having too much fun. 🙂
This is your best one!
Competition Entry There was a young sailor from Brighton Who remarked to his girl your a tight one She replied "oh my soul" Your in the wrong hole Theres plenty of room in the right one.
COMPETITION ENTRY there once was a guy called Barney Who was always rather horny 🍆 So he went to lovehoney ❤️ Then Spent some money💵 Then played out all his sexual desires
COMPETITION ENTRY There once was this girl who one day had a dream that maybe she was gay She had sex with a girl Which made her toes curl So then she sent her man on his way
AsYouWish! wrote:
Ian Chimp wrote:
There's a lingerie legend named Sammie
Whose eye for high fashion's uncanny
Though buyer beware
When you walk up the stair
You're going to be flashing your fanny 🙂
I'm clearly having too much fun. 🙂
This is your best one!
I'm not going to lie, I was pretty chuffed with it. 🙂
I feel I should do a better one for Jess now, but it's going to be tough to beat Sammie's.
I had one about Peter Pan deciding to grow up fo the adult toys but I was struggling with lines 3 and 4.
There's a leather-clad lady called Jess
A beautiful bondage temptress
She's impeccably styled
And deliciously wild
I think you can tell I'm impressed. 🙂