hi everyone i am in need of some much needed advice and also to see whether i am missing out or not.
you see my problem is trying to get my oh to go down on me i never have a problem goin down on her and love doing it every day if she would let me. however she hardly repays the favor back so my question to every body on here is this does you or your partner ever refuse a blow job and whether women acctualy like giving blow jobs?
thanks from sh4ag
Truthfully, some women love it some women don't. Everyone's different.
The only way to find out is to talk to her about it. You could ask how you could make it more plasurable for her or how she wants you to return the favour. ;) And always remember to keep your man garden well groomed and fresh.
Unfortunately because there's often a social stigma attached to fellatio, there can be emotional aspects to understand. Some women are concerned that it's degrading or 'dirty' to perform. Their experience in the past may not have been great or they may have only experienced it by seeing rough deep-throating porn.
If a full blowjob is something you have to build up to you might want to ask your partner if she minds pleasuring you with her tongue but not actually fully taking you into her mouth. Then work from there when you're both comfortable and ready.
I agree with tigerlillies. Why not have a really long foreplay session where you have to kiss and stroke every inch of each others bodies before you do anything else. That encourages her to go down there without her feeling forced to do so. It puts her in control. You could also play a game, kissing all your favourite bits of her and then asking her to kiss all her favourite bits of you x
Also a side note on when an act isn't reciprocated. Being the cause and catalyst for someone's orgasm is an amazing thing that's all the better if they know you're not doing it to expect something in return for your 'selflessness' and hard work. With this in mind when you speak to her about it don't use the fact that you go down on her as leverage. You'll get nowhere. Instead talk about how much she turns you on and the pleasure she gives you. How you want to make this something she'll enjoy too by knowing how good it makes you feel. Sometimes we don't always 100% enjoy what we do for each other in the bedroom but part of sex is the act of doing something *for* that person. Not that anyone should be pressured into something that doesn't sit right with them, but your gut will always tell you what that is.
when me and my wife were just going out, and things got sexual between us i was more than happy to go down on her so many times but she told me she didnt feel comfortable doing the same to me, i just told her it was fine because the last thing you want to do is seem pushy, will put her off the idea even less
Just gave her, her own time to let her do what she wanted to me as and when she feels ready, it was a long wait but so worth it, so my advice is give her time, let her feel comfortable with the idea, and dont go on about it because it will seem pushy after a while (with other sexual acts i learned the hard way, but all is ok now) and the saying is true my friend - Good things come to those who wait!
hope this has helped you :)
*AdamKR* wrote:
when me and my wife were just going out, and things got sexual between us i was more than happy to go down on her so many times but she told me she didnt feel comfortable doing the same to me, i just told her it was fine because the last thing you want to do is seem pushy, will put her off the idea even less
Just gave her, her own time to let her do what she wanted to me as and when she feels ready, it was a long wait but so worth it, so my advice is give her time, let her feel comfortable with the idea, and dont go on about it because it will seem pushy after a while (with other sexual acts i learned the hard way, but all is ok now) and the saying is true my friend - Good things come to those who wait!
hope this has helped you :)
thank you adam i will try and be patient maybe thats where i am going wrong i will see what happens when i am patient and see whether she responds to it.
sorry about the reply in the box i havent quite understood how to write under the text box yet
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/members/tigerlilies/ sometimes i don't understand her because she will do it and enjoy it and then she wont go down on me for ages and have talked to her and she just says she doesn't know why she does it and it confuses me. xx
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/members/wizzie86/ thank you for your advice and i will try your approach and see what happens but sometimes when i have stroked and kissed her body then gone down on her she is too tired to do anything to me after words and when i have spoke to her about it she just says sorry and i will do it next time so again it confuses me any more help and advice will be very welcome xx
ouch i understand why you don't like them bitofwow i can imagine the pain if it goes wrong
personally i absolutely love giving blowjobs but some of my mates will barely even kiss a willy let alone suck it!
kittykat69 did any of your mates say why they dont like kissing willy or blow jobs
well i at least know 4 people i know who hate giving blow jobs
I love sucking on my man, in fact I want to do it more than he needs /desires it! I love to either fondle him hard or suck him hard before we sleep.
He doesnt have to actually cum, I just like playing with it with either fingers or feeling it responding in my mouth.
Maybe some women don't like either the taste [remember to keep it squeaky clean men!] or the fact they feel they may have to live up to porn star type BJs from films etc, I try to keep in mind that I like licking and sucking him so if Im enjoying myself, he will/should be.
There shouldnt be any undue expectation from the males, if a woman is willing/wanting to go down on you try not to do the pushing on the head thing [unless she wants that] or telling her it has to be a certain way. No pressure!
Also I like when he moans a lot ... nice to feel you are doing it right and makes you feel more sexy!
thanks mistress cara you truly are a godsend ent you how are you?
I'm probably in the middle camp. I don't mind giving BJs and I always have to different partners etc. although until very recently I wouldn't entertain the idea of having a guy cum in my mouth. I'd just get them to a point then finish by hand or we'd have sex. It was very much 'foreplay'. However, I started to wonder about trying it with my OH (who's also my fiance) and in part this was because I love/trust him but also - and I've said this to him - it was also a logistical thing of him not actually ejaculating loads. If it was bucket loads I doubt very much I'd have considered it as I haven't in the past in a long-term relationship. So, in part as well as feeling emotionally comfortable it was also very much a physical thing as well.
He knows that I'm not really that bothered either way about BJs and I think often when I do it it's because he's asked me to. If i didn't want to then I wouldn't so I don't feel obliged as such but it's probably not like my favourite thing ever to do with my time! If i was told I could never have a cock in my mouth again I'm sure I could live with it! Sometimes though, I do like to do it, mostly to pleasure him but he also always says it gets me wet, so who knows, maybe sub-consciously I really like it LOL
I would just do as the others say and talk to her about it, make sure it's squeaky clean, don't pressure her etc etc. And just enjoy it when she does do it and bear in mind there are some men who never get it! Perhaps when she does do it try complimenting her and encouraging her as well to put her at ease. But it may just be that it's not her bag and is something you have to compromise on.
I forgot to say as well, that my OH is pretty big and has a thick girth and i only have a small mouth so it can be quite tricky at times. I often get jaw ache and my lips start to feel numb after a while so tbh it physically isn't very pleasurable to do it sometimes. So that can make it feel very much like a 'job' as well and can make me reluctant. So, as i say, I really do it for my partner so that I'm not being selfish! If he suddenly never wanted me to do it though I'd probably want to LOL so perhaps you should try reverse psychology and your partner!
We agree with columbus about size as we have same problem with jaw ache. It’s not called a job for nothing even tho i love giving them. My man knows how to get a blowjob without even asking. if he catches me using my fave vibe the hitachi magic wand all he has to is push it against my lips and in to my mouth. By this point my wands doing the trick and the extra turn on of his big cock makes me suck it for all I am worth. Such a huge turn on! so why not try this ask your partner to let you maybe fuck her mouth gently as she uses her fave vibe this way she’s gets plenty of pleasure as you get your wicked way. But as every 1 else has told you talking and trust r big issues u both need to comfortable with this. Out of curiosity since we’re talking about blow jobs how many girls would like to be a man for a day to find out if it’s as good as men make out receiving a blow job?
I don't really like giving blow jobs. I've had bad experiences in the past with my ex who wouldn't take no for an answer. My current fella says he doesn't really mind either way. There have been some occasions where i've wanted to give him a blowjob, but most of the time I don't want to. If I do I won't let him come in y mouth, that's a rule.
I know what you're saying about the jaw ache Columbus, that's another reason I don't really want to do it. And i'm often plagued with mouth ulcers, so that's not good either.
It isn't really something you can push her on i'm afraid, many women don't like giving them. It sounds weird, but this is what would probably work with me - just don't mention blow jobs at all. I have found that i'm more likely to go down on my other half if he hasn't suggested it, because then it's my choice. If he suggests it, it turns me right off because it reminds me of being with my ex and all the things that go with that. Everyones different, it's just an idea.
x
Have you talked to her about it? Maybe just ask her to kiss to start off with then next time when she is kissing it ask her to lick too and build up from there, i love giving my OH blowjobs, it's one of my favourite thing to do! I hope she will give it a go! Good luck!
I like giving them. I know I don't do the hand thing well so I make up with it with my mouth. Besides sometimes sticking a cock in it, is the only way to shut me up.
Saying that, and I'm not sure if it's just me but I find the men who say "oh I love going down" are the ones who do it for a bit and then it tapers off. Now I know I'm not to everyone's taste but I'm clean and shaven and blah blah blah and just because I refuse one does not mean I'm never going to want one again! lol Actually I can only put one or two men in this category so moot that point I made above (having a very anti-male day). I don't give to receive but a little bit of a two way street is a good thing.