Blowjobs…I’m new to sex

Sex Tips & Talk
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Hi,

I am a 38 year old female. I was a virgin up until about two weeks ago. My partner is lovely and I adore him, but the thing is my lack of experience made me feel a bit inadequate and I was never able to make him cum by myself… Can anyone offer tips on what specific things men like to have done down there and how I can improve. I would love opinions from both men and women and just tips and tricks would be amazing. I have watched some porn videos and then I tried to go at it aggressively and at one point he had to yell out ouch and stop me :sweat_smile: (so I need all the help I can get).

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Hey @user2133 :waving_hand: The best advice that worked for us was communicate. Brenna has a really fantastic thread, with techniques, members suggestions, over on Oral Sex Superbowl which you might be interested in reading. And welcome to the forum :slightly_smiling_face:

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Welcome @user2133 As @Stacy2 says there are lots of threads on the Forum on this topic. As a penis owner I love a Bj but gentle with additional hand action works for me and will often make me cum when I am revved up

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Hi @user2133 Welcome to the forum, as a guy I have never had a proper blow job and I have been married nearly 40 years. Communication is the key get your partner to tell you whats good/bad. Porn is not realistic it does not have to be rough. Take a look at the forum,blog where there is some great advice.

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Definitely take it slowly

Fondling and teasing with your hands and then lips and tongue

Don’t just concentrate on the head of his penis

The shaft is a good place to start

Licking stroking gently and then tease his glans with your finger tips

From his reaction you can judge if he’s enjoying it

Ask him what he likes as you do it but if you’re a little shy just mix things up a little

Rubbing his cock head with your breasts and especially a nipple will be very erotic for you both

Above all you should both be enjoying your exploration of him

Then don’t let him just be a recipient but encourage him to touch you too, your body breasts and pussy and don’t worry I’m sure he’ll be keen to pleasure you with his mouth too

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Nice and slowly to start and licking the head. Use your hand to wank him off at the same time add some lube or coconut oil. Him sitting in a chair and you kneeing on the floor in a nice bra/lingerie or with your boobs out gives an amazing view to the blowjob.

I can find it hard to cum sometime when getting a blowjob so we use it more as foreplay.

Also a blowjob is not for everyone and it does not always have to be part of sex.

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Welcome to the forum.

Great question for a newbie.

As a man, I can give my thoughts and I can honestly say if I had some one new to this, I would let you try anything you liked to put you at ease.

I am sure most men would agree and say, take 10 minutes ( or more ) and go with what you think, I know you would know what I liked by the end of it. Everyone is different and what works for some men, won’t work for others.

Have a free reign session then talk it over after / or during.

From personal preference, I like one hand on shaft and one hand on balls. It’s really hot when she looks up and makes eye contact.

Hope this helps

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Start slow and steady, with hand and mouth, and ask him to guide you along. Just a simple yes, no, faster, slower, more, less will do.

Enjoy finding out, every man is different. I also like the balls and ass to be teased, just a little, but that’s not for everyone.

Communication is key.

Oh, and not everyone cums from a blowjob, i can count on one hand how many times I have, it’s just mainly foreplay for us.

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I second the ball play whilst receiving a Bj. Also, if you are up to it, a finger in the ass is great

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Ask him for direction on what he likes..or what’s working at that time.

I’m like you, it’s fairly new to me! But I’ve found keeping one hand low down (partially to stop his penis going too deep because I gag) but it also allows an up/down with slight twist motion (not like wringing out a sponge twist but more like a quarter turn of your wrist) while I can also either match the up/down with my mouth (add in suction, play with how hard you suck) or keep my head still but swirl my tongue around the head of his penis.

Some eye contact, lick the entire length, he may like gentle tapping of his penis against your face. Don’t be afraid of noise and sloppiness. Tell him how good he tastes or make “mmm” noises occasionally (or smack your lips)

One tip I did see on a video (somebody may know it but it was a BJ tutorial on pornhub I think in Spanish with English subtitles) - if you’re mouth is getting dry, make yourself gag. It’ll bring up more saliva (and you don’t have to ram his penis down your throat…you can just take it a bit deeper than you were or just enough to hit your gag reflex)

That video also had her sort of using his penis like a fish hook in her mouth and then allowing it to pop out the side.

Honestly, just have a play around (no advice on balls…not ventured into thay myself) and ask him for direction and feedback (before, during, after.. whatever works for you)

Oh and it’s ok to change it up. Go slow, go fast, hand only, mouth only, tease him by just about licking the head and pause.

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Shave him for a start, no nasty loose pubes in you mouth, and swallow always swallow, men love it.

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I definitely second eye contact, and moan softly like he tastes really good (but don’t overdo it. We’re not going for porn here!). My husband loves lots of saliva too. Basically the messier, the better.

Learning to deep throat as well, but you need to control that, not him. Unless you discover you like face fucking too :innocent:

Oh, and lightly run your fingernails over his abdomen as he tries to hold out :smiling_face_with_horns:

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I change things all the time using my mouth and envelope his full length, use my fingers and lightly run them over his balls and between his legs, use my tongue on the foreskin and suck hard on the tip and use my hand on his shaft along with plunging down with my mouth. Gives him toe curling orgasms. But then thats what he likes and you need to find out what your partner likes by practice and asking him what he likes.

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I would recommend you give his balls a suck first. Then as you’re blowing him stick your lubed finger up his bum. He should explode!

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Disagree on the shaving first…

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Ah. Lovely to have you here at the beginning of a wonderful and messy adventure.

If it makes you feel better, I’m male and have never cum via a blow job and I’m not entirely sure I could now I’m circumcised, so I usually don’t try and just enjoy it for what it is.

One hint is that THE most sensitive skin is the inside of the foreskin. That has the majority of fine touch nerve endings. The glans are only sensitive to deep pressure and heat.
The frenulum is very sensitive and after orgasm I’d recommend rubbing that firmly for some time as I can have a second pseudo orgasm very quickly IF I get it just right. Failing that it can just feel really good ( unless you’ve got rough fingers then I’d advise not doing it at all .. )

The more saliva the better. Can’t have too much.

Always play with his balls. You can start off gentle but get a little firmer as he gets more excited. Explore them, roll them round, squeeze them gently, lick them, suck them into your mouth, squeeze just his scrotum and gently pull them away from his body. They can be very painful if handled wrongly but at the same time they’re tougher than you think.

The penis is obviously more than you see on the outside. It continues down, behind his scrotum and into his body. Rubbing the area of the urethra through his scrotum and back towards his bum repeatedly back and forth can add to any other sensation.

Squeezing upward with your hand as if you’re forcing more blood into him works well.

If you rub your finger up from behind his balls to the tip, you’ll likely get some pre-cum appearing. You can lick that off, smear it on his lips, on your lips and then kiss him, on your lips and then look him in the eye as you lick them, swallow it or what ever. It just tastes a little salty but in the moment can be a real turn on.

The line from his belly button to the top of his penis is sensitive to light touch. As can be his pubic area.

Just behind his scrotum is the perineum. Rubbing here while doing other things can sometimes work magic, especially if he’s close to orgasm.

Eye contact. Lying between his legs, his penis upright with one hand holding it and your tongue on his glans while you look him in the eyes with a big grin ..

And with all these things, repetition and combination is what makes it work.

Enjoy it. Its a bit of messy fun and vaguely ridiculous. And if you can let him know you’re enjoying it too, that will do much of the heavy lifting. Its as much a mind game as anything else.

Lets see if I’ve ecouraged the wrath of our Brenna..

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Second that, I find it is far more erotic both as a spectacle and sensation wise than oral.

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Welcome to the forum!

It’s all part of the learning and the fun experience of sex :relieved_face: in time you gain technique and learn the ways he enjoys things while he also learns how to read your body too

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Also a blowjob doesn’t have to be limited to just the mouth. Alternate between using your mouth, tongue, hands, tits. It can be just used as part of foreplay, doesn’t always have to end in him cumming from it. And eye contact is definitely great.

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Welcome !

what I find dh loves is using my tounge make circles around the head once in your mouth and also around the shaft , lick all the way up and down shaft all while caressing his balls , he also loves licking the area under his balls too

When making him actually come I find hand and mouth combo works best otherwise it takes a while and I get a major jaw cramp :rofl: as I have to have my mouth fully open to fit him . hth

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