Has anyone found during the early stages of their relationship, regular blowjobs were a big feature but over time they just don't happen anymore?
My friend confided in me about this, he used to get regular head from his long-term partner, especially when she's on her period but even that no longer happens. They've talked about it but she says she doesn't feel like it anymore. As she doesn't enjoy oral herself, he can't do any bargaining i.e. you please me and I'll please you.
They still have fairly regular penetrative sex so it's not like he's missing out altogther! I've advised that he obviously has to respect his partner's wishes and just enjoy what he can but he really misses oral :)
Has anyone else been through something like this where oral fun just fizzles out during a long-term relationship?
I was never the biggest fan of blowjobs but with one partner I definitely gave more in the beginning of the relationship, and then as a treat later down the line š I just didnāt really like doing it but Iād do it because I knew he enjoyed it š¤·š¼āāļø With another partner though it was like a switch was flipped and I loved it! I loved choking on his cock, but I was still apprehensive about doing it because I never made that one cum from it and that always knocked my confidence š
It's the opposite for me. When my husband and I first started dating, I told him point blank that blow jobs were not going to be happening, that I don't like it (the reason for this is because of past experiences that I'll not go into here). But after a few years (yes, years) I decided that I would - it was my decision, I wasn't forced into it; in fact he tried to stop me because I didn't like it and he thought I felt obligated and didn't want that. Anyway, they have become more regular. They aren't a staple piece of our sex life, like I don't perform oral sex on him just when I have my period as a replacement of penetrative sex; in fact, sometimes we do have penetrative sex when I have my period. Its just as and when I feel like it. And I've found ways that get a good reaction out of him, which encourages me more; similar to why he performs oral sex on me - because he enjoys the reaction more than the actual act. I don't think "I'll do you if you do me" is a reasonable thing to consider anyway; I don't think a 'bargaining chip' like that should ever be used. Instead I think they just need to find their 'sexual happiness', explore sex and find what sets them alight,...maybe he'll ultimately forget about oral sex because the sex as a whole will be so mind blowingly brilliant that it's surplus to requirements, or maybe in time she will decide (like I did) to try it again. But it's important that while trying things that neither partner feels overly uncomfortable, instead they know that if they are feeling really uncomfortable that they can call it quits on that occasion.
Could he maybe ask her what exactly she doesn't like about giving them? Surly there is more to it than " because she doesn't like oral" , surly that would be really selfish? ( sorry if that's the wrong word)
im not a huge fan of oral. I never have been. Tbh i dont really know what im doing and i dont have much confidence .. but would i tell a guy that, no probably not. but like above I did it more at the start to try and " impress". And now down the line it's more of a special occasional kinda thing , I know that's super bad. I repay the favour in blow jobs if he's helped around The house or something, how bad it that! š but. He doesn't get it if I'm in a really good mood
I'm not saying here that she has to give oral, I'm saying that it maybe easy to understand if he got to the bottom of why things have changed
I think I'm a bit odd. I am somewhat obsessed with BJs. The hmmm noises that comes from Mr John are a massive turn on in themselves . I agree with most of the above,but we are all different. It's a bit marmite - some love it some hate it but I'm not sure I'd enjoy having oral if the giver wasn't 100% into it.
I'm not a big fan of them, myself. They can be so much hard work not trying to scrape your partner with your teeth and all, haha. The last time I gave one to my boyfriend he didn't climax and we just stopped as he was nowhere near, anyway. It sure knocked my confidence but I'm glad he told me. But to be fair, I'm not keen on recieving oral sex either.
Similar to little miss sensual. In the beginning I told my H that I didnāt do Bjās. (Due to past trauma) Iāve been with my h nearly 20 years and this year something changed. We had hit a plateau weāre drifiting apart and we had a wake up call. Learning to relax more discovering each other again has made me want to do it. I love the reaction I get from my H. He has never come through a bj but years ago not long before we were married I tried once to give him a bj. I begged him not to cum and he pulled me up and said that no feeling was worth seeing the panic in my eyes. Like LMS when i first went down on him he also told me not too, that I didnāt have to etc etc.
my long winded point is - no one can be sure of what is in peopleās past unless they were there, and I disagree with it being selfish if she says no because she doesnāt like it. You wouldnāt say the same if it was Anal or something. Oral sex just isnāt everyoneās cup of tea.
F&F our relationship is the same, my husband has never cum through me giving him oral sex and I know it's for the same reason; some pre-cum has come out. I have to admit that I do sometimes get frustrated that I haven't managed to get him to explode with my mouth yet,but I know when he's close, he pulls me away; I guess he'd rather I stay comfortable and happy in doing it rather than take that risk just for a little bit of cum.
Maybe it's a bit like most relationships and more effort was put in at the start of the relationship to please each other. Much like buying your OH flowers/chocolates/gifts/date nights... they trail off as you are not trying to impress. Not everyone likes to give blowjobs... I imagine jaw ache, possibly bad taste Or maybe the guy putting his hands behind the givers head and trying to make his penis go in further is a bit of a put off. Plus maybe not giving them out so much makes it feel extra special on birthdays/celebratory days when he does receive one.
They dwindled for a while then we both went clean shaven as since then I get them almost every time we have sex. 25 years married and we still have sex at least twice a week.
We are the same as the above couple Mr and Mrs B as we both have been hair free for about 25 years and are 100% into giving and receiving oral sex š and have been together over 30 years
Yeah, we have been together for 15 years and a stand alone blowjob has just never been a thing, sadly.Iāve tried on the odd occasion to suggest it but my mrs just isnāt into it if she isnāt getting anything, which is fair. Period sex or blowjob has absolutely never been a thing.
We quite often we will start or finish sex with a blowjob and I love giving her oral and itās one of her favourite things so itās nothing about oral as such, just that she wants it to go somewhere or get something out of it
i have always enjoyed giving head and make it clear to potential bf's in the early stages that they wont have to worry about being pleasured from me and vice versa.
As she doesn't enjoy oral herself, he can't do any bargaining i.e. you please me and I'll please you.
This always makes me prickle like a cat having it's fur rubbed the wrong way, I really am at odds with the whole idea of sexual favours and bargaining. Certainly nothing makes me feel less like sucking my husband's cock than if I feel that I owe it to him for some tit-for-tat reason. I certainly don't expect oral in return simply because I did it for him.
Ona more positive note, I can 100% credit this forum for my recent enthusiasm for blow-jobs. I remember back in the summer, hadn't been here long, there was a really good thread by women descibing their experiences of bj in entirely positive, empowering language, and it totally reset my feelings towards them. I now do it because I enjoy the power I have over my husband: I might be the one on my knees, but I'm also the one in control. He loves them, I like putting on a show for him, and the only thing that has changed from my previous lack of enthusiasm for them is my change in mindset. Certainly I suck cock far more often now than I ever have done at any point in our previous nine years together, and I see no reason for that changing anytime soon.
So, I guess my belated thanks to all the lovely folk who took the time to share their experiences on that thread because to me and my husband, it really did make a huge positive difference.