I had been thinking about it for a good while before but a couple of weeks into the lockdown I bought myself a dildo. I still live at home with parents as does my boyfriend so we have not been able to see each other for a while now so I've been using it quite a lot. He knows I masturbate and he loves this but I told him about my dildo last weekend and he really doesn't like the idea of this or me using one at all and has asked me to get rid of it.
I really enjoy using it and don't want to get rid of it but he is not like this about anything else so if he really has a big problem with it that much then I suppose would.
Sounds like he is jealous of an inanimate object, maybe you need to talk and reassure him, that you can enjoy it AND him? If not he's still not happy, maybe he isn't the chap for you.
Has he told you why he dislikes it? Its just a toy, not another person and isn't a replacement for sex with him at all. Maybe ask him why but demanding you get rid of it seems bossy to me as its your body and your money. Something I wouldn't put up with but that's just me. You're seperated for time being and entitled to fullfill your sexual needs, would he feel the same if you told him you didn't want him pleasuring himself? Because no doubt he does. Personally I wouldn't get rid of it and have a talk with him. Getting jealous over a toy seems a little immature and childish. Like WillC said, if he still isn't happy, he isn't for you.
A conversation definitely needs to happen here. If any guy (partner or a random) ever told me to get rid of my dildo or toys, I'd tell them where to go. They're a massive part of life and enhance my sex life hugely. Your BF needs to be reassured that your new toy isn't a threat and can be used successfully together within the bedroom!
A conversation definitely needs to happen here. If any guy (partner or a random) ever told me to get rid of my dildo or toys, I'd tell them where to go. They're a massive part of life and enhance my sex life hugely. Your BF needs to be reassured that your new toy isn't a threat and can be used successfully together within the bedroom!
A dildo is merely an extension of sexual play, not a replacement for it. A conversation is certainly in order and perhaps a mutual masturbation session, let him watch you while he takes care of himself. From a males perspective, I find it really hot when my wife uses one of her dildos, whether that is with me controlling it, hotter if its her and I get to watch though.
I'm the opposite, I am kinda the jealous type, but I did buy my wife a vibe much bigger then me but she's not into it. I cant believe she doesnt even masturbate. Def have to ask her again
A conversation definitely needs to happen here. If any guy (partner or a random) ever told me to get rid of my dildo or toys, I'd tell them where to go. They're a massive part of life and enhance my sex life hugely. Your BF needs to be reassured that your new toy isn't a threat and can be used successfully together within the bedroom!
I agree with this, it should not be an issue and you should definately have a conversation about it.
If it really is a hangup of his then you can decide whether you would be happy and can manage without a sex toy or have him with an issue. Not each situation will be the same and be the same as yours. My boyfriend currently takes some medication which now makes it very difficult for him to get or maintain an erection so I cannot get off in this way as I would normally do. For me my sex toys including a dildo are needed for my sex drive and I could not give these up.
If I was being faceitious I'd say keep the dildo and lose the boyfriend.
Seriously though he does seem to be being a little immature.
I bought all my wife's dildos and I love to use therm on her but I love it even more when she uses them on herself. Is there any way you can let him see you using it? That would do it for me for sure.
Firstly it's YOUR toy and YOUR business. Masturbation can be a really private thing or something to share. You could let him watch you use it, it drices me crazy when my wife pleasures herself that way, or just do it privately. If he doesn't enjoy watching you masturbate with this dildo then enjoy it privately. But don't get rid of it! You could also try telling him that it's just made you hungrier for the real thing
If I was being faceitious I'd say keep the dildo and lose the boyfriend.
I pretty much agree with this line. If he gets jealous of a piece of silicon (or whatever), what else will he get jealous of. I would consider this to be a warning sign and personally, I'd send him packing.
A conversation definitely needs to happen here. If any guy (partner or a random) ever told me to get rid of my dildo or toys, I'd tell them where to go. They're a massive part of life and enhance my sex life hugely. Your BF needs to be reassured that your new toy isn't a threat and can be used successfully together within the bedroom!
This sums it up for me too. Don't feel pressured into getting rid of it because he doesn't like it. It's your body to pleasure however you wish and if that includes sex toys then that's your business . Yes,by all means have a further chat about it, maybe he does just need a bit a reassurance that it's not a replacement .
After that , if he's still insisting you ditch it then you might need to think about the direction your relationship is going in .
You mentioned that you both still live at home. Without asking how old you are i know my attitudes to dildos and sex toys has evolved a lot since i was a naive teenager. When i was 17 or 18 for example (now mid 30's) i would probably have felt insecure and potentially that i was being replaced by something bigger and better if i found out my girlfriend (now wife) was using a dildo. Now i think they're great, i wish she would use them more to be honest. Not everyone is as open and comfortable about these things as the amazing people you will find on this forum. It could be he hasn't had much exposure to this kind of thing before and isn't sure how to react?
I do agree with everyone else, it is your toy, your body, you can do whatever you want with it. He might just need a bit of explanation and assurance he is not being replaced. Agree with trying to involve him in it if you can. If he is still not happy with the idea after you have spoken to him and potentially demonstrated it to him, then he might not be the one for you.
A lot of good advice here and the only thing I would add is talk to him on why he feels this way.
You are obviously missing his intimate attention and a dildo is a great way to relieve your frustration. By all means give him a demonstration of how you use it as it may change his mind, after all it just a sex toy which you like playing with.
The others have said that if he doesnt like it change him. I think it is a great opportunity to discuss and fully understand how he feels but more inportantly is he on the same page as you in a sexually liberated way.
I just bought my long term girlfriend a dildo/vibrator along with some other sex toys and have to say its actually enhanced our sex life having more foreplay than we did before and the mrs loves it when i finish her off with the vibrator .