Many moons ago when we were younger and hadn't discovered this world, a friend of my now wife gave her a big vibrator.
My initial reaction was "oh no, I'm not doing it right, or I'm not big enough". That's quite a big hit to the self confidence. I didn't ask her to get rid of it but she could tell I wasn't happy and I never saw it again. I can only imagine a dildo would have been slightly worse, being more of 'penis substitute'. At least a vibrator provided a function I couldn't.
Fast forward 10 years and I'm the one buying her toys and using them together. If anything I'm more likely to get them out than she is.
Talk it through but maybe be a bit gentler than others are suggesting. He could just be feeling insecure, especially if you've not been together for weeks
Yeah, I wouldn't get rid of it for his sake. It's yours to do what you please with. Did he even say the exact reason why he wants you to get rid of it? I get insecurity or controlling vibes from this attitude and that isn't good... Try and speak to him and see what he has to say.
Saw in another post you're 18? So assume your boyfriend is a similar age. He'll more than likely be worried that you've bought it because he can't satisfy you. Lads that age have can easily have a size complex. The facetime idea is great, he'll quickly change his tune. But if not, just reassure the lad and when he's with you next maybe get him to try using it on you? Or use it in front of him. As soon as he's playing too, it'll all be fine again.
Guys, eh? It may be worth telling him you’re thinking of him and dreaming of the real thing when you use it. It’s not a replacement, but a warm-up to the main event for many. It’s also a tool to help you learn about your own body and orgasmic potential. Surely that will benefit him & your relationship?
I know a few blokes who don't like the thought of dildos...they have thought they weren't good enough and why have a dildo when you've got me??? They don't mind fingers fruit and veg or anything that's not a penis shape. I seriously don't think a video of you using it would turn him on at all. If he doesn't like the idea of them keep it to yourself and use alone when masturbating...if you need a partner and want to use toys together in your sex life then maybe he won't and you'll have to accept this or move on. Talk about it and reassure him it's not to replace him and take it from there...good luck...💋
Bloody hell what's he going to do when if like most on LH you end up with a bottom drawer full all sorts and styles of toys!! My OH had got some toys that are that big they would give him an inferiority complex! if he can't cope with you just having one you need to ask what his problem is, explain why you got and essentially need one and what he would do if you had more. Then next is up to you! Not going to tell you to bin him like others have but you need to reflect on your relationship and if he's jealous of 1 dildo how far will it go!
Send him a Tenga egg (they're pretty cheap for a male toy) and tell him to start beating.
You can then point out that he can see for himself that masturbating with toys is not a partner substitute but it's a pretty nice and easy way to get some relaxing pleasure.
And don't send him pictures or video (that can identify you at least). If he's the kind to get jealous of a toy he might also be the kind to make private pics public.
My first instinct would be to get rid of him. You don't want to get any further involved with someone who is jealous and controlling.
However, since it sounds like you are both young, he is probably just insecure. Lots of guys have a complex about the size of their penis when they are young, so it might be that. There's also the schoolboy myth that a large sized toy/item will make a woman "looser" and therefore less enjoyable for her partner.
As others have said, have an open and clear conversation about it, and see if you can reassure him. If not, then alarm bells would be ringing for me.
My first thought is that he's insecure or worried about his performance or size and so your dildo is playing into those concerns. I can only echo the other advice and have a talk with him, only then will you know the real reason for his reaction.
Iv been involved in many conversations similar to this. Personally I see no problem with this I actually brought my girlfriend her 1st vibrator. I think what a lot of guys feel is that it’s doing them out of a job and is a self confidence thing especially if you finish yourself with it afterwards. I think it’s a masculine thing where they compare themselves to the toy. In all honesty it’s a load of rubbish and you shouldn’t have to explain it but maybe talk more about the current lockdown situation and when you meet up maybe try to get him involved with it or other toys so it becomes a couple thing and try to ease his jealousy that way.
Always needs a discussion to see what his concerns are about and where his jealously comes from. Perhaps he wants a toy or two of his own but is struggling to admit it?
Okay, so I'm a bit late to the party here and a lot has been said already, but I've been there. I was very uncomfortable with the idea of touching myself when I first met my partner. Now I don't want to say the sex was bad... but yeah, the sex was bad. I didn't know my own body or what I liked, so I couldn't tell him how to pleasure me because I had no clue myself - it caused massive problems for both of us, I wasn't sexually satisfied and he was left feeling underconfident because he thought he was doing something wrong. On a dare, my housemate at the time dragged me into Ann Summers and made me buy a vibrator. It was just a cheap one, battery operated and with one speed. I still have it in a box somewhere (more on that later). My partner wasn't happy about it. He thought that we would stop having sex because of it. He was upset that three inches of plasic could do more for me than him. We talked about it, I explained that a toy wasn't a substitute for closeness. A toy can't love me, or hug me, or make me feel better when I'm upset. It was a tool for me to learn about my own body. He was still unsure, naturally. But I bought another, better vibrator anyway and even started to keep it at his house, and we tried it together. I was able to direct him to my pleasure spots much more (although he still has a hard time finding the clitoris, he can find the G-spot in a heartbeat). Now we own lots of toys ranging from dildos to butt plugs, different types of vibes and a messy pile of bondage gear. That first ever vibrator that he was so jealous of two years ago has become one of his toys for anal use - he has a whole bag of his own toys and even a fleshlight now, all because my housemate dragged me in ann summers. We see toys for what they are; a way for us to enjoy each other more. Don't dump your boyfriend right away like some people are saying, that's unfair. Give him a chance. Sorry for the very long post, I hope my experience is someway helpful to you.
As others have mentioned there needs to be a conversation here.
Perhaps ask him to explain what it is about the dildo that he doesn't like, perhaps it is a misconseption that can easily be ammended. Perhaps lockdown has got to him and he's feeling inadequate. Perhaps he could get some toys himself and open his mind if its a taboo based fear.
Whilst as your partner he is allowed to express his opinons within the relationship, that is all it is, an opinion. One that you can take into account and take whatever course of action you like. He must respect that you have a right to your own pleasure, and automony outside of your relationship. You are well within your right to carry on doing whatever you please to pleasure yourself.
I'm sure once an open conversation occurs you will understand why he was originally so against it, and perhaps he will understand that it is innocent self-pleasure during a worldwide pandemic which is starving everyone of seretonin boosting touch. If he continues to disreguard whats matters to you then i would reevaluate how his respect of you weighs within the dynamic of the relationship.
Everything I would say has already been said for the most part, the only thing I'd add is I dated/ended up married to someone who did not like toys. That marriage last 2 months before crumbling.
My point with mentioning my experience is don't make the mistake I did and settle for someone that shames any part of your sexuality. Have a conversation with him and if he doesn't get on board don't hide something you enjoy and don't give it up.
I hope he gets on board and you are both able to enjoy your self care time and time together that can be spiced up by toys occasionally.
Joining this thread a little late here but if I could just say this.....the majority of men and women masturbate. Its not up to anyone other than yourself how you choose to masturbate. If your boyfriend has a problem with how you get satisfaction then there is an issue. No one knows what you like more than you, no one should be telling you what you can and can't do. My wife would probably choke me with her dildo if I told her to throw it away....either that or beat me to death with it. And what partner doesn't like their other half getting their rocks off???
Isn't it great then that we live in a time and place whereby you (hopefully) have a degree of autonomy over your own body and sexuallity. Your body, your rules.
Relationships work on compromise sometimes, but you being able to have a wank shouldn't be one of them.