Sorry @Trixie1. Shortly after my last post my computer had a melt down and I had to replace it and do all the set up from scratch. PITA.
I did a search on this topic after a few comments were posted in other threads but what came up was rather judgmental or lacking in info. Thanks to @Trixie1 and @Boytoyrenato I am starting a new thread based on my questions and curiosity. This isn’t a kink I am into but certainly want to understand a bunch more about it. For background, I have never had a partner into it and wouldn’t actually try it without a mentor. I have sort of experienced it myself but only on the fringe.
Twice trying cling wrap it was full body wrap including the face so no breathing until my mouth hole was cut open. No big deal and expected. The other time was tryout a latex vac bed and my breathing tube was blocked just long enough to have me panic.
I am assuming you are both tops or Doms in this interest. What is the interest? The control or the aspect of control? If someone is into submitting or being a bottom into this, why?
Top or bottom… how do you determine the trust value required and what is the interest? Is it giving up complete control or something more?
Actually, I really like and prefer to be the bottom in this activity.
For the “tops” there is indeed a control aspect, but the only 2 people I’ve done this kind of play with were more into it for the pleasure it gives me more than anything else. So i’m gonna try to explain what i get from it.
I’m an overthinker, my attention spam is not the best, and my mind wanders, a lot… even during sex, sometimes i have trouble be “in the moment”. Plus i get bored, really easy and really fast (i don’t know why, i always been like this)… When I’m being deprived of oxygen my mind stops wandering and only focus on that, maybe it’s an survival thing that kicks in…?.. And for some reason i get very hard during that time. My body just reacts to it with excitement, i can’t tell you why, it just does.
I don’t like to be wraped because i start to panic, and i definitely prefer hands over tubes or masks, there is something primal and intimate with hands, i can’t get that from other means (although i know a lot of people are into it). FOR ME “giving control” is not the important part, using a partner is more for safety reasons and because you can’t suffocate yourself with hands…
About trust… There should be 100% trust yes, this is dangerous…
This should NEVER, be done alone, a lot of people have died with autoerotic asphyxiation. This is a complete NO NO
Since you can’t talk, there should be a “safeword” signal (i tap) , when my partner is asphyxiating me i put one hand on his arm and move it slowly as a signal of “i’m fine, keep going”.
I’d say that’s all part of the fetish that you have to willingly place your trust in someone to take control of and be the ultimate dominant over you.
This sort of play id only ever do with someone who I felt truly comfortable with and trusted my life with or I’ve known some places where you can go to have this fantasy played out by professionals which I’d expect some form of agreement is signed to ensure your safety.
Great post @Boytoyrenato and thanks for sharing this info. You have done a great job at explaining a whole mindset I had never thought about. Hopefully @Trixie1 will also share for, perhaps, a different view point.
Next question I have is whether you have had breath play taken to the point you blacked out? If so, was that a good or bad experience in your view?
BTW… your view on cling wrap is the same as my view on submitting to breath play. That example really helps me understand better.
I haven’t blacked out, but I’ve been very close, I’m going to be very honest here, I’m the kind of guy that sometimes take things a bit too far, i always like to walk on my limits and see if i can push them a bit further, so it helps to have a more cautious partner… plus i always tap before that happens because i don’t want to put my partner in that position, i believe that it would be a negative experience for him and maybe make him stop doing it…
Like i said in the fist post i usually put my hand on his arm, and move it slowly, if i would blackout my hand would drop, so i’m always signaling that i’m good and conscious, keep going. Breath play is something i do from time to time, so i avoid making it too much and too often.
Because of the way i do it, i feel safe and never panicked, quite the opposite, but if i would be tied up, wraped or with no way of get out of it i couldn’t do it, i know there are hardcore breath players that like to be completely vulnerable and unable to get away, but that’s not for me.
[quote="Boytoyrenato]
I haven’t blacked out, but I’ve been very close, I’m going to be very honest here, I’m the kind of guy that sometimes take things a bit too far, i always like to walk on my limits and see if i can push them a bit further… [/quote]
Would blacking out be a plus or minus for you? Not a judgmental question. Just trying to understand the interest as best I can.
Another question on this… if you are into breath play are you also into knife play or are those two completely different interests? I suspect so but want to ask given neither have been my experience.
Speaking as a nurse here. Both breath play and knife play are dangerous. I do however partake and enjoy breath play with my husband. Knife play on the other hand if done incorrectly can result in hospital admissions.
Nothing better than a kinky nurse. LOL I have started a new topic for knife play. Not really my thing but would like to discuss further with those into it so I can understand better.
Blackout would not be a big deal for me, but it’s not a goal by any means. What I take from breath play it’s “the struggle”, so if I would blackout the game would stop. I prefer to have some pressure on and off.
No, I’m not into knife play, I’m more into impact than sharp pain
The struggle is more of the body for air, not for the play itself. So i would say i relent to it, struggling Because i have a way to stop the play i don’t have to fight it
Really appreciate your frankness on this topic @Boytoyrenato because I have never had the opportunity to openly discuss this before and I find it intriguing.
I think I already know the answer to this next question based on previous replies but… is your interest in the loss of control of breathing based on another’s interest and the submission and trust that comes with that or is more about the affect of loss of oxygen creates?
Its kind of both, for me is more about the physical struggle than the submission but they are not mutually exclusive and differ from person to person. Oxygen deprivation creates interesting feelings, the body reacts violently to it, and that makes me hard and excited. But like most fetishes, mind frame is a part of it, so there is always a psychological side to it.
Let me put this way, if my partner is weaker / less dominant than me, i still enjoy breath play, even if i don’t feel “submissive to his interests” i still get off with the physical aspect of the play. If my partner is stronger / more dominant, it would add on to the play, like a cherry on top.
Although submission is not my main goal, I admit that when i see a huge muscular guy, 6’5 tall with big arms and big hands, i fantasize a lot about breath play, so… well… both
Because i have a way to stop the play i don’t have to fight it