So ever since I’ve been with hubs my fantasy has been to shag him with a strap-on, I thought that this would remain a fantasy as he always said no to bum fun until today that is
So i need you lovelies to advise me on how to go about it, what do we start with - anal beads, prostate toys, butt plugs or do we go straight for the strap on?
I also want to get something that can be used on my clit and stimulate his cock whist doing him up the arse so please can I get some advise and recomendations?
Would deffently start SLOW!!! Buy a trainer set of butt plugs they come in differant sizes !!! Beads would have to be one of my favorite or prostate massage as now we are a bit more advanced !!! Can’t wait to try the strap on but word of advice is to start slow
Start slow, as god forbid it may just not be for 1 or both of you, fingers are great things, and then work up from there, but definitely get his own toy, it’s best not to share
I would start off with plenty of lube, perhaps a finger to get used to having things in that region. Some good beginner anal toys out there to get in the mood.
A fair few different sizes so a small strap on to start and then work your way up
@jasonagrierson I’m not into using my fingers for that purpose so I’ll start extremely slowly as you advised and I’m grateful for that
Hey @KentCouple1990 I never ever thought it’d happen as he’s always said his arse is a no go zone until today he bought it upto me and I couldn’t Adam and eve it, can’t tell you how happy I am in fact happy is an understatement! Your wife may come round to the idea at some point, I daint ever in my wildest dreams think huns would agree to a toy in his bum never mind letting me shag him with a strap on! I want one that will stimulate me too n to use a wand attachment to get him off at the same time so any recommendations would be wicked
There’s a few threads on this but you asked so nicely and calling it bum fun made me laugh!
I always recommend checking out the pegging video / episode on XR University as it helps go into detail into the How’s and dos and don’ts. Unlike a lot of pegging videos it focuses on pleasure for both rather than the more humiliation themed stuff that might terrify him!
For your stimulation, there vibrating strap ons and strapless strap ons that deal with that. We found harness pants helped keep that in place. You can also get little pillow type things that pad the end of the dildo so you get clit stimulation.
As for stimulating him when your shagging him, hands are always good, don’t have to get fancy!
I’d also have him spend some time with the toys on his own, let him insert and play with them at his pace. You could very well watch and provide him stimulation if thats your thing (dirty talk and/or masturbation) that would encourage him along.
It can be hit or miss / love it or hate it with anal play (especially with men, there doesn’t seem much middle ground), but it shouldn’t be upsold as a fireworks experience from moment 1, it can take time to become accustomed to the sensations and allow them to be pleasurable.
I’d say start with a well lubed finger for some prostrate massage as it’ll get him used to the sensation of something being there and would always advise him using a douche first, as it’ll quash any fears he might have about accidents or mess.
Then move on to him wearing a small butt plug during normal sex/blow jobs and when he’s happy and ready to try a strap on opt for something that won’t scare him and will be easy for you to wear.
This is an ideal start point and you can easily up the ante with larger dildos progressively. Good luck.
Start with fingers move on to butt plugs and beads, we are loving the strapless strap on, my wife has massive orgasm while pegging me, it took awhile to find the right position but once found it sends me crazy. Lots of lube!! Have fun.
Definitely start slow, also buy a strap-on with changable dildo o-rings so sizes can be increased easily, you can also get strap-ons with very thin starter dildo’s, some curved for g-spot, p-spot play, you could try just the dildo first on your OH with plenty of anal lube to see how comfortable he is, you’ll be surprised how comfortable you can take a slim dildo first time.
Then when the time is right it’s your turn to take control and enjoy!!
This is one similar to ours and over the last few years we’ve increased the dildo size and o-rings for more extreme fun!! https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/strap-ons/strap-on-kits/p/lovehoney-advanced-unisex-strap-on-harness-kit-3-piece-/a41303g75239.html
I would say butt plugs, then a massager. Start slow and maybe even have him practice by himself to understand what feels good and what he would like. That’s what we did! Working up to a strap on!
Can’t see if anyone else has mentioned it but it’s also worth remembering you will need to get used to things too! If you already have dildos you could get a set of harness pants (more discreet than harnesses) and then test out how it feels for you to wear it. It’s optional and it will depend on you both should you go the next step learning at the same time or if you want to get more experience on getting dressed and the feel of the thing. We found that struggling with the harness was a bit of a mood killer and that the ease and comfort of harness pants helped move past that and into a more fun play time.
You can always use the LH returns if it doesn’t work for you!
Try fingering him in the bath gently. See if he likes it. You could finger him and masturbate him to see if he is relaxing.
Moving up a gear you will need lube, lots of lube. A selection of butt plugs in gradually increasing size. Again finger him and insert the plugs until he is comfortable with them in his ass.
Select a strap on which is not too big as you could frighten him. Take control when you are ready as it’s probably what he wants to experience that is you reversing the role and penetrating him. So you tell him what you want from him, what position and how you are going to do it to him. Remember lube up start slow and gentle. Talk to him to get feedback and only when he is comfortable increased you thrusts. The best starting position is with him on his back with legs in the air. You have eye contact and you can give him a rub as well.
but word of advice is to start slow