I can’t do heels ever since I broke my big toe in 2020… by flirting with my husband 
And we have gone waaay off topic on this thread
Sorry about your toe.
More ideas for your next blog
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Not you too, @JGood keeps piling me with those. I’ve got a company wants to collab with me soon too. I’m going to wind up chained to my desk for real at this rate!
Will you host a Friday evening chat session with your fans? You can share sub and dom tips
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edited by mod
edited by mod
Unfortunately I can’t share that information as it is against the forum rules to communicate with members away from the forum, it’s just something we wanted to set up of our own accord and to make our blog even better.
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Can’t be arsed with rope. Our approach is more industRIAL
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I think anyone can have to potential to be a narcissist. Subs, Doms, switches, or anything inbetween.
I understand how in theory a Dom could be more narcissistic due to the mindset of “I’m in charge, I get what I want, you belong to me” but I don’t think it rings true. I think it’s very important to be able to separate your sex life with your everyday life. For example, doing power play, degradation and all that fun stuff is great but it’s important that Doms don’t treat their subs like that all the time in everyday life; if they do it might become more of an issue (unless you’re into that and have communicated it, go ahead!!)
I remember a couple years ago there were all these posts on Facebook going on about the difference between abuse and bdsm, I can see how it could become quite a scary situation- genuinely not knowing if you’re loved or if you’re just being used.
But at the end of the day I think absolutely anyone has the potential to be a narcissist
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Mine enjoys messing about with it. It’s that kind of captor/captive “you’re not going anywhere, so what’s the rush?” thing I think
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I think actually, and certainly from my own experiences, I think the opposite is true: those who are genuinely narcissistic are more drawn to Dominance in BDSM, because Dominants have a “right” to own people (they don’t really, nobody really owns anybody, it’s all about consent).
This is another point that I think is very signficant to this topic, and the lady who led me to this theme: she herself lives in immersive 24/7 BDSM slavery, where she regards herself as being owned as a slave to two Dominants. She is now considering leaving this 24/7 BDSM lifestyle, to find, essentially, her higher purpose. Do I consider either of her Dominants narcissistic? I think at times I (and some of her other readers) have certainly had our concerns, but unless you’re part of the dynamic, who are we to judge? It’s why I don’t like involving myself in others BDSM play, personally - unless invited to, of course.
Absolutely, and this is why “check yourself before you wreck yourself” rings true 
Silk or satin ribbons looped over wrists and ankles tied to headboards, legs any furniture or just looped over the door and then drawn backwards.
Also there’s the mental bondage. Place your hands on top of this sheet of tissue paper and don’t let it rip.
Or stand legs apart while you have a book on your head and it cannot fall
This and those before it are just examples of kink without narcissism in it @Tenshadesandme so I don’t think
Mental bondage… 
Sorry, yeah, I agree. There’s no room for narcissism in BDSM.
@Tenshadesandme text is confusing at times so I’ll see if I’m on the same page
For fun together you set a fun but impossible task to complete while you play like the balancing book on your head while your partner eats at a very tasty table or twerking of a nipple or two. If they last 5 minutes they get a reward if they fail they are punished.
Im not thinking of belittling or mental anguish never have had that itch and never would do that to another especially one I play with.
I promised a reply when I got to a keyboard. Here it is.
And there is nothing more anger inducing to a narcissist than being ignored or irrelevant. But they don’t understand, once you stop caring, you can never start caring again. Their tricks no longer work. They have lost you, and that damages their ego, their persona far more than anything else you can do (remember, their personalities are built from the outside in, so damage like that damages their view of themselves, and that can’t possibly happen.)
I wasn’t talking about you giving up control, I was talking about them giving up control. Remember everything (but everything) is about them. You are just a pawn in their life, your only relevance to anything is because of you interaction with them. You aren’t a person in your own right, you are someone playing the role of “their girlfriend” or “their submissive” and as such, they know exactly what you need to do and say in that role, and get annoyed if you don’t do it. Since they are perfect, if you deviate from what they think, the problem is you, and you need to be punished (I’m not talking about joyful spanking here, I’m talking about rage, control, fear, abuse, financial control etc.)
(I totally understand why you need to give up control. You’re the same as me.)
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My apologies for the confusion. Yes, this is something I saw in my ex for sure - he was rarely ever happy, but I and everyone else were the cause of all of his unhappiness, not him. As you rightly say, he was perfect, so if there was a problem, someone wlse sas the cause. It’s why I had to walk away in the end, they say you’re crazy and it’s because they make you crazy!
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