I am looking for some feedback about a possible rule update.
Currently, stating that you are currently engaging in masturbation/sex is banned on the forum - this is because it involves other members in your play without their consent. This will not be changing.
My question to you is:
Is saying âright nowâ in relation to butt plugs the same?
Yes - it is still sexual activity
No - it is not sexual activity
It depends on the post (please comment examples of where it may be okay)
0voters
Please note: This poll is just so I can gauge different opinions - the final decision is still mine.
I think now, or in the middle of now shouldnât be allowed. I think it would encourage one to one chat, it makes me a little uncomfortable to be honest.
I find the whole âright nowâ thing doesnât bother me either way (although it clearly does some members, and that is ok).
I would say that whatever rule is in place for masturbation should be the same for butt plugs. Consistency does bother me, and I think a consistent rule is easier to everyone to understand.
Edited: actually, it has got foggier in my mind. If I happen to have a butt plug in when I type, it is different from masturbation. Less active, more passive. Like saying you have a pair of crotchless panties on, just slightly more internal.
So, should the butt plug rule be seen as more like crotchless panties and less like masturbation�
I know the forum is for discussing most things about sex but when you get into the realms of any topic asking when you last did something there seems to be a trend for responses to be overly detailed and graphic, including either the âright now/just nowâ content.
I donât think anyone really needs that level of detail and it often comes across as either the original poster or contributors looking more for titlation than sharing any beneficial info or guidance.
Iâve seen no end of posts where my first thought is that someone is looking for responses to get a thrill and use for masturbation material. Thereâs a whole wide world of Internet out there for that, surely?
Sorry if that comes across as a âgrumpy old manâ commentâŚ
I completely agree with @Rob36 on the posts with excessive graphic details, there are plenty of places to share about your intimate experiences of your sexual encounters on the Internet to get a buzz and I donât really think LH is the place for that keeping in mind:
This is a friendly place where adults can discuss all things sex and sex toys with like-minded people (without perv alarms going off). If youâre looking for things like sex toy recommendations, advice on how to spice up your love life, sexy lingerie tips, or some new bondage tricks, then youâre definitely in the right place.
But we cannot stress this enough, the Lovehoney Forum is not a site for dating, arranging hook-ups, exchanging flirty messages, or posting graphic images.
However, Iâm on the fence with this one as it has become fairly common place to wear butt plugs (and kegal balls) going about your day to day life, the same as for those wearing a cock cage for a prolonged period which presumably is an acceptable thing to state? In those cases, it becomes just a statement of fact rather than something someone is writing to get a sexual thrill from people knowing. I think it is a minefield and I donât envy you the rule making @Lovehoney_Brenna .
I can see how it could be interpreted in either way depending on context but at the end of the day I ask myself have I ever been offended by such a comment on here? and is it such an issue as to warrant yet another rule (as if life doesnât have enough of them already)?
I would be inclined to say no on both counts. No to rules for the sake of rules, I donât believe one is required. Most folks on here are grown up enough to know where the line is.
The rules arenât there to stop people being âoffendedâ. They are there to help make the forum a space where all members feel comfortable engaging without feeling like they are party to, or a part of, someone elses play. The forum is not a place to engage in dirty chats and get your rocks off - it is important this is maintained.
I donât know where the idea of the rules being there because of people being âoffendedâ has come from, but itâs been mentioned a lot recently
I was thinking this too. I wear kegel balls to train myself to not wee when exercising, not for pleasure, but wear my plugs for pleasure.
I suppose if someone was not wearing plugs for pleasure (but I canât think of when that would happen) then it wouldnât bother me, but Iâm in the âright nowâ camp as feeling exhibistionistic (if thatâs a word)
I think itâs how it is worded, if some one was to say âI wear a plug most of the time nowâ in a sentence of a paragraph relating to an open topic subject, I feel that would be fine as opposed to someone just saying âI have one right nowâ. It depends on the context as to what they are saying and why they have said it.
With that said I am happy for new rules to be applied that prevent any forum members being made to feel uncomfortable.
Hmm Iâd say it depends on the post and context itâs written in as some people wear but plugs throughout the day and not be doing anything sexual with it, but if someone was to be masturbating or having sex with a plug in then yeah that would be classed as sexual activity.
Itâs a hard one really. I donât see it as involving me in someoneâs play. Its more that I just donât want to know if someone is wearing a butt plug, love eggs, nipple clamps etc. Saying that⌠I have actively chosen to be part of an adult forum about sex and sex toys so I expect to see posts that Iâm not really interested in from time to time. If I do I just scroll past or find another thread.
And if anyone is swayed by the arguments in the comments and feels like they want to change their vote, you can click Show Vote to go back and select a different option and vote again.
Iâve said it a few times, but I like that this is a sex/sex toy advice site and not a place to sex brag. I think it would likely put new people off joining in if they land on the forum and read some of the more blow-by-blow accounts of peopleâs activity.
But for static (?) toys (butt plugs, kegel balls, cock cages) what is gained by saying âIâm wearing one right now?â. Couldnât it be phrased as âI wear mine all dayâ, or âI wore mine for 6 hours yesterdayâ? So no present tense?
No - the way I see it, doesnât matter if youâre using a penis, a dildo, a butt plug, vibrator or kegel balls.
They are all penetrating (unlike crotchless panties) so the same rule should apply to all.
Also, when forum members what to talk about something - I think the âright nowâ could just be omitted.
You can tell everyone about your experience but we donât need to know that itâs happening right now.
I did think the rules were there to create a nice, positive environment for the users.
At the end of the day - there will always be people offended over certain things, thatâs unavoidable x
