I agree with Lubyanka's suggestion. I have felt for some considerable time that this forum is no longer a place I want to be and my lack of posting reflects this. I don't understand why forum members who have been members for a while need to be singled out in your 'rules' but as I am no longer happy to abide by them, I will be taking my business elsewhere. I am really disappointed by LoveHoney and it's staff, particularly Carly who I find rude and abusive on these forums.
I'm aware of some of the problems too but it's such a shame that it couldn't all be sorted out sooner I'm such a hippy sometimes and just wish everyone got along! I've never had any real problems on the forum though so I guess that's easy for me to say!
I actually agree, I found that line a bit judgemental - as if the veterans are the ones who need keeping in line and we're bullying the noobs? Yes, veterans need to be nice, but we've had our share of ass headed noobs, so how about "everyone needs to be nice to everyone" - a little less loaded?
Carly stated in a thread opened by Lubyanka around the medical advice guideline (which has since been deleted) that although there are a large number of OA members, there are only around 30-40 active users, plus the casual new posters. So 30-50 reported posts a week is quite shocking. What has always concerned me about the post reporting facility is that there no form or other capacity in which to state the nature of your complaint or your reason for drawinga post to the attention of the moderators. Therefore, someone with an axe to grind, someone who simply does not like you and most concerningly the large number of trolls we have had recently, can with one click put you in the provervbial. I have used the function myself, mostly to alert the mods to one-time posters using the site as a pick-up point but also in the recent case of the baby in the userpic and when someone was making what could be seen as intolerant political commentary. I am deeply sorry to see imeldaimelda go, as she has done sterling work in keepung the OA photo blog going and she has always been what I have observed to be an exemplary forum member in her knowledge, humour, advice and support. I will miss you on here my friend. Please don't let this be the start of mass leavings of good people X
I believe that it is primarily a case of the last section being badly worded. Lubyanka did not appear to be suggesting any modification to the rules themselves and I think her respect of them is demonstrated by her frequent redirection of new people to forum rules, older relevant threads etc. Rather a rewording of the last addition was requested as it implies that the vets are more likely than any other group to be hostile and to break the rules. Whether or not it was intended to be construed in such a way it seems to be in the interests of continued peaceful functioning of the forums and good business to make a very subtle alteration and reword the part which reminds 'even you veterans' to be nice to new people.
For reasons I can't explain I just don't feel particularly offended by the "be nice to newbies" part of the rules, I just thought it sounded like a fairly light hearted suggestion rather than a scolding!
Kitty, I hope that 99.9999% of the time I am more than nice to newbies. But on the occasion where I read yet another post asking about anal or that is very obviously someone trying to use a forum dear to me as a cattle market, I reserve the right to politely but firmly direct them to the search function or the forum rules! I do not presume to yet call myself a "veteran" but over the past 9 months since I joined the OA I have noticed an expanding core of very well-informed, gracious, wry and helpful people, who I believe LoveHoney should be treasuring instead of barracking.
Kitty, I hope that 99.9999% of the time I am more than nice to newbies. But on the occasion where I read yet another post asking about anal or that is very obviously someone trying to use a forum dear to me as a cattle market, I reserve the right to politely but firmly direct them to the search function or the forum rules!
I do not presume to yet call myself a "veteran" but over the past 9 months since I joined the OA I have noticed an expanding core of very well-informed, gracious, wry and helpful people, who I believe LoveHoney should be treasuring instead of barracking.
Absolutely agree, I also don't like the anal recruitment folks and will happily report them. I don't consider that by doing so I'm being mean to newbies though, I think I'm trying to protect the "real" OA community, newbies included!
It's really hard to explain precicely why I don't feel offended, may be it is because I'm not a veteran, maybe it's the winky face at the end of the "be nice" part...I just don't think it was meant to be harsh.
I agree with you KP and JG, being one of the newbies who has received 'niceness' from all you lovely vets, and non-vets but higher ranked than I ;) however it is worded in a way which leaves it open to interpretation and since some people have been offended by it such a simple thing seems to be well worth modifying.
I appreciate there being a notable lack of illegality on here and fully support the right to report genuinely harsh or troubling posts/ pics etc. Also would like to add my voice imploring people not to begin a mass exodus over this but respect imelda's wishes and wish her well and further adventures.
Lovehoney seem to make a point of good customer service and delivering what they pledge, I would generally have the same expectations of their forums. Thank you to all the vets who have been welcoming and helpful to me and other 'newbs' as we are referred to in the divisive article. :)
1089 posts and not a veteran KP? Shome mishtake shurely? I respect what you are saying but to even say "be nice to newbies" on this forum is unnecessary and to couch it as a "guideline" with a winky smiley to me is a bit like a sh*t sandwich.
1089 posts and not a veteran KP? Shome mishtake shurely?
I respect what you are saying but to even say "be nice to newbies" on this forum is unnecessary and to couch it as a "guideline" with a winky smiley to me is a bit like a sh*t sandwich.
I'm not sure what qualifies as a veteran really, but I've only been on the forum since the summer and like you didn't want to just presume honoured veteran status! I'm definately not a newbie though!
I see what you mean about it being unecessary, I think we are all nice to newbies and as Rowan has said: people have been upset by it so maybe it's worth rewording to keep the peace! External Media
Oh no! Please don't leave or feel like you're percieved as a horrible person...I've met you and know you're not! I think there has been some really icky tension going around but I thought it was all getting sorted. I don't think anyone wants you to go, and I definately don't!
You have helped me to feel very welcome and loved as part of the OA and I've learned a lot of useful things from your posts!
Is there anything I can do to help calm everyone down and bring back some love and naughtiness? I am even willing to perform roller-skate burlesque if it would help any!
Carly - thank you for updating the rules to a single locked sticky post and for taking the views of members into consideration. That is much appreciated
I haven't noticed any tension, but I have noticed some people who were around when I arrived on the OA no longer post all that often.
It's such a shame people are disappearing, I'm not 100% sure what's gone on, although I have a slight inkling about the odd thing (but I thought all that was in the past?)
Imeldaimelda you will be missed, and the other OAers that seem to have left will be too, hopefully things will all smooth over and people will come back!
I've considered leaving the forums previously due to certain concerns but hopefully those have been resolved now, hopefully everything will be resolved in the near future.
As KP says, perhaps this will be a chance to clear the air....and at least by containing it to this thread any potential new members won't be too put off by any negativity that people may be feeling.
Blimey I push off for a day or two and come back to ructions!
I have felt, for the most part, very welcome here.
I'm a long standing member of another forum (utterly unrelated in nature to this one) and over three years or so on the other forum, I've come to realise that what you can't do in forums is put in a 'tone of voice'. Those smiley things help, but aren't marvellous! So what is written often looks more blunt / abrupt / bad tempered than the poster intended. Something written in a lighthearted way, becomes serious when it's in print. Subttely is sometimes lost in translation!
I think all forums go through difficult patches ... there is no reason why this one should be so different.
