Not quite sure where to put this thread so hope its ok LH mods to put it here
My husband works in a very male dominant environment and is the supervisor of quite a few lads. He's been there for years so they're all friends etc. Anyway, he had picture of me as his wallpaper on his mobile, nothing outrageous, just me in a playsuit smiling. A few lads looked over his shoulder and commented on the picture, he explained it was his wife and they said some complimentary but sexual things (can they borrow his phone for 5 mins while they go to the 'toilet' etc) lol. Im quite flattered by the responses, but they day after all this, he completely changed the picture on his phone and now has a software logo??!! Im quite upset that im suddenly erased?!
Is this standard for a partner to do? Ive not seen him jealous before so not quite sure if its coincidence he's changed it or coz he's bothered with other lads looking at me? (I would ask him but he's a v guarded person and wouldn't tell me the reason).
Could be jealousy or could be that he just doesn't want his work colleagues thinking of you in that way? If this is bothering you, I would say have a chat with your OH x
There's a difference between other men looking at your partner while saying complimentary things and other men sleezing over your partner making dirty jokes and references to wanking over them. Yes, I'd say he changed it on purpose. You may not see it as outrageous, but if the picture sparked those remarks it is probably not an appropriate picture for a phone used at work.
I wouldn't be upset over it, you could always send him a picture of you in non revealing clothing or take one together that he can use as a wallpaper. He didn't change it because he didn't like it, he was probably just embarrassed or uncomfortable having other men perving on his wife. It was pretty inappropriate of them to speak of you that way so changing it makes sense.
Thank you all for the replies :). Lovehoney forum is brilliant in these intances when feeling a little lost. Yes maybe he didnt like to hear that coming from them, i never thought about it that way... i wont mention it to him as thats most likely the reason. Like i say, it wasnt a revealing photo, all area's (chest/top of legs etc) were covered, i never would expect him to have a revealing photo of me as his main wallpaper, i guess the lads just go for whatever? :/.
I feel alot better about it now seeing it from other perspective apart from my own.
Adding a guy's perspective; can only agree with what's been suggested. We all like to hear our partners 'approved of' but we don't necessarily want to hear other guys leering or being sleazy about our partners. That's where jealousy kicks in. I wouldn't want to hear it.
^^ Thank you for the guy opinion. The amount of crude stuff ive heard come from his workplace, I nievely thought men loved that kind of banter, but i wouldnt like it if women made comments about my OH that were over the mark; and what they said i guess stepped over his boundries xx
I wouldn't say any comment that you're more or less only good as wank fodder is a compliment, i can see why your hubby opted for a different pic he clearly loves and cares about you and doesn't like other men thinking your only value is for them to get their kicks from
I would'nt let them have my phone, but shows the lack of respect by your husbands so called friends/ work collegues as they lack respect for both of you..
I would'nt let them have my phone, but shows the lack of respect by your husbands so called friends/ work collegues as they lack respect for both of you..
Totally agree. I had a comment passed about one of my daughters. The guy who made it, in the pub, recovered well after a " Glasgow kiss " and a visit to his dentist. I am by no means a violent guy but I am VERY protective of my family.
I wouldn't say any comment that you're more or less only good as wank fodder is a compliment, i can see why your hubby opted for a different pic he clearly loves and cares about you and doesn't like other men thinking your only value is for them to get their kicks from
I can see why you said that, my fault for not being clear. They started off saying how good i looked and couldnt believe he was married to me etc; that was the compliment, it then went off subject to the crude remarks. Yes bless him, we are v much in love and i feel bit silly now for posting this thread. I just thought he didnt like to have my image on his phone now, but the reasonings make sence.
Chris098/jimbogemini = Yes its pretty awful at that place :(. Respect is nothing, regarless of position/pay grade. Im very glad he's protective of me; as you were with your daughter jim x
Ask hubby to change picture get him to put something rougth on, they will soon get the message and leave his phone alone.
Then maybe put a picture of you on at a later date and tell him to lock his phone.
Good luck to both of you It must be hard for him, I can only imagine what he is going through as I have just jacked my job because of lack of respect from superiors or Not!.XX
Thank you all for the replies :). Lovehoney forum is brilliant in these intances when feeling a little lost. Yes maybe he didnt like to hear that coming from them, i never thought about it that way... i wont mention it to him as thats most likely the reason. Like i say, it wasnt a revealing photo, all area's (chest/top of legs etc) were covered, i never would expect him to have a revealing photo of me as his main wallpaper, i guess the lads just go for whatever? :/.
I feel alot better about it now seeing it from other perspective apart from my own.
Thanks all ((hugs))xxx
I don't agree that the lads "just go for whatever" you have legs to die for! Don't sell yourself short! How sweet that your husband is so defensive of your honour but I can understand why you would feel insecure about the change of his wallpaper x
Kitjos You are not selling yourself short by asking your husband to change wallpaper, he is stopping others from getting his phone and oggling your beautiful pictures which should be for you both to enjoy.
IC - Thanks for the reply :). Yes its definitely a love thing, i just automatically assumed it would be a jealous thing, but protectiveness sounds more like it xx
Gem276 - Bless you, that's so sweet for you to say. I was confident enough to take those profile pictures today after looking at all the stunning member pictures on the group. Love to see how LH products can bring the confident out, regardless of age/race/gender or size <3. Maybe i should show my husband my pictures ;) lol.
Chris089 - I cant really understand why i couldn't see it from your POV beforehand when it makes so much sense! Lol. Maybe he can look at my pictures when he's sure no one else is around :D