Hi all 
. Any tips for a fulfilling dirty weekend away with my OH? Normally our sex life is relatively vanilla and not over kinky but I’m hoping we can explore each other more than ever this weekend and I’m eager to satisfy her in every way. 
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I’m sure you already have but definitely don’t forget to discuss the direction you want to go in with your OH first if you’re used to mostly vanilla, you never know she might have some suggestions too 
Bringing some tricks with you once you know what’s on the Yes list - toys, flavoured lube, cuffs. So much you can do!
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Good luck. Be careful that your expectations don’t overshadow reality… I think my sex drive gets me thinking about what my plan will be and then when the day arrives, she’s in a housecoat and asleep by 8:30 and I’m wide awake hard as a rock and disappointed.
I couldn’t agree more with @mrssaffa to chat about it and get her as excited as you are. I wasted alot of effort and money on stuff that she could care less about and then I got pissed off and she had no clue why I was mad.
Talk about it ahead of time and prepare for about 60% of your expectations. Anything more than that is a bonus!
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Just like others have said, have a discussion, she may enjoy the change in routine and give herself permission to let loose, but I think most people would like forewarning, sometimes the anticipation gets the juices flowing. Example, I’d want to take extra care in grooming, nails, hair etc. Ask her desires or if she’d like to try something new. Or give suggestions. I sext my hubby screenshot of different positions, ways to set the mood. I’d probably love going to a nice women directed toy store as an outing 
. I remember the ones I went to a couple of decades ago and they were creepy imo lol. There’s so much to try, i love new lingerie, and being able to try things on is soo nice so that I don’t feel like I’m wasting money.
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Howdy and welcome to the forum @Horny44! You could always browse the Lovehoney website together.
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@valbowski77 I feel you, that state of aroused but disappointed is a horrible feeling.
I struggled with just expecting him to know where I’m at and what I want, as if he can read my mind
We have similar drives, but life gets in the way sometimes and either side can be left disappointed if we don’t communicate properly.
To help combat this we agreed on a minimum times per week deal. For us that’s every other day, but both parties need to come to an agreement. Almost a schedule but if one or both isn’t feeling it on a “on” day we just know we have to say something because otherwise it’s expected, but nothing is forced.
Spontaneous liaisons are welcomed in between but just knowing what’s expected from each other has helped us communicate better and avoid getting disappointed.
@Horny44 Another thing is which I’m sure most on here already know about is the apps that both partners have accounts linked…the one we have you go through a huge list of kinks and ideas and say yes, no or maybe. If both partners say yes you get a list of matches you know are safe to try.
Same app you can set if you’re in the mood so the partner gets a notification, so that helps with expectations too, and you can set a match to your mood.
This helped me when we opened the door to more kink as I was overwhelmed and had no idea what I would like and my OH is so laid back he also is just like explore and see kinda thing that I didn’t really know where we were going with it
Now I’m waffling, but hope that makes some sense as to how we avoid that expectation, disappointment, resentment spiral and for ideas to spice it up. 
Agreed with the others, talking seems cliche and boring but it really does build up the anticipation which is so much fun.
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I haven’t heard of this before. Thanks for mentioning it! Going to try and find that now…
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Thanks I think you describe the exact situation I have found myself in before. I probably do need to lower my expectations but communicate more in advance.
I have set the ball rolling when packing by asking her to pick out the toys she wants to bring so flavoured lube, blindfold and vibrating cock ring all in there. Hopefully that sets the scene and I will start a playful suggestions list on the train journey to plant a few seeds and ask her views and for her own suggestions.
Getting her off is the biggest turn on for me but taking a bit more time to indulge and push boundaries i think is what would make it even better.
Our last trip away had some awesome fun in the shower so hoping to repeat that experience. Trying new positions and morning hands only fun is something I would like to suggest.
As a bloke i think we are always a bit wary of going off too early and the length of time it can take to reload so I do want to concentrate on giving her multiple orgasms first which will build the anticipation for me.
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Thanks I think you are absolutely right that the key is communicating but why is that still hard after so long together ?!
. Seriously though getting away from it all will be the perfect opportunity to open up about our desires and that will be the main goal for the weekend. Looking forward to an exciting weekend and wish you the same.
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@Horny44 I know right! Let us all know how your weekend away goes, sounds like you’re both in for a lot of fun.
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Welcome to the forum! I’d suggest maybe packing a blindfold as that’ll heighten all the senses 
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Welcome to the forum 
The weekend was fun but to be honest we never nailed the communication side unfortunately. I decided to go direct and asked my OH what she would like me to do to her but she was pretty coy about it all.
Highlights would be making her cum hard with nipple play only which was a first for me and a huge turn on. She dropped to her knees and licked and gave me a handjob to completion in shower. I really wanted to ask her to let me cum on her tits but didn’t want to ruin the moment if she wasn’t keen. I did make her cum several times with hands and vibrating cockring penetration which was satisfying for me.
Downside would be communication barrier was still there (although we did a little dirty talk)and there was no morning sex which I am always up for but rarely have. We didn’t try any new positions.
I have given feedback to her today on how hot the shower action was and we agree we both enjoyed the dirty weekend away but I would say once again my hopes and expectations were probably only met 70%.
I’m interested in suggesting the app to move things on but not sure how best to approach this. Any ideas? I don’t want to suggest I’m not satisfied or grateful. I’ve always been the more experienced sexually and buy toys, show more willing to initiate sex and try new things. It is probably a confidence thing but I can’t help but feel a little jealous hearing others on here being so open and taking more interest in improving their sex lives.
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@Horny44 I think you are doing great! And honestly 70% sounds pretty good 
. In almost 30 years of marriage we’ve had ups and downs. Personally I love morning sex, its soo good, no rush unless you want it to. Did you tell her how much morning sex excites you? I’ve told my hubby a few times to remind him and sometimes he’s all for it, I tend to reward him with a lot of positivity when it happens and our libidos become more in sync 
as a result. Communication sometimes is about the moment I find. As we’ve gotten older I find I try not to have an agenda or list to get thru because it is more satisfying, I typically take the lead and introduce toys, positions, offer suggestions and try to flirt with him more and go with the flow, he does surprise me so I try my best to encourage that 
I find this satisfying.
Thanks that is good to hear. With kids around morning sex is generally off the agenda so that’s probably why I hoped for more interest from my OH when away. I think my 
and attempts to initiate were less than subtle but yeah disappointing to have morning glory fade! Joining the forum and hearing views like yours gives me hope but next time we are kids free I will maybe need to mention how much I would like some morning fun too.
Sometimes my hubby just puts my hand on his and I’m ready to go, sometimes breakfast lunch or dinner time, typically he’s being cheeky . My in laws would take our littles for a sleepover for a night or two and that was awesome for us to have a little alone time. Now our son is on his own and our daughter is busy with work and weekends away it flies by so fast lol.
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@Horny44
Sounds like it went really well and you had good fun!
Yeah I think the communication bit is the most difficult - we are constantly running in to stuff where we should have communicated better.
I have to remind myself it’s a journey, not a race to a destination and others on here have probably been through it all too, everyone is just at different stages I guess.
Re the app - I think speaking from a female perspective and obviously use your discretion as I’m an absolute stranger who doesn’t know you or how your relationship is - if it were me I’d like my OH to be open with me about where they are first, but from a grateful angle?
“We have so much fun together and I really love (specifics)….how would you feel about exploring more things?”
If she has a positive response - my natural one would be what do you have in mind? And from there you could go well we could look in to it together? …Then you can suggest there’s apps and questionnaires you can do to get ideas and see if theres something on there we hadn’t considered that both would be willing to try at some point.
And then end it with I love that we can be open about this and it means a lot we could chat about this (insert cheesy lovey stuff)
It’s like a sandwich - sandwich what you want to say/ ask in between two positive things haha
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I would build on what was done and experienced. Here’s the next problem I run into: Escalation.
I tend to think that if we were 70% last time, the next will be 80-120%… Never happens…
It’s like college Algebra. Take the 70%, pass the grade, and move onto the next one. I tend to put alot of thought into the next trip, overbuying, over-thinking… it’s all a bit of a waste. Enjoy the little wins and take great pleasure in the fact that you had a great time and have something to build on.
Come at it from a gratitude and passion… otherwise, if you are like Mrs. Val, she may shut down. A 30% trip (or less) is the worst…