Does it get easier over time? Or will it always be hard to fit something in there?
It gets easier. I always struggle fitting toys/my OHs penis, but lots of lube, being really relaxed and going slow helps! However it is sometimes painful so I don't do it often because when it hurts - it hurts!
I recently bought a beginners butt plug, that could help as I found it a nice fit - I still went slow and used lube but it wasn't hard to fit
I want a slightly bigger one now so I can build up to being able to have anal sex without fear
I'm sure there are plenty of people here who can be of more help but the little I know might be useful :)
It gets easier, you can get a "syringe " that you fill with lube so you can get it well up your bum and lots of it, not just on the outside edge, my wife has recently enjoyed anal far more and has commented that there's little discomfort especially the next day even after I've been quite forceful as there's been lots of lube in the right places .
As mentioned, use lots of lube.
However anal is kind of something that takes some work in the early days to really reach the potential levels of enjoyment available. If you do it very infrequently it is likely to always feel a little awkward and not so pleasurable.
Call it training or practice, whatever but it’s worth going through the paces, learn to accommodate slightly larger toys through playing, get to know your back door and it’s anatomy and what feels good for you. Ideally you want to be able to accommodate a slightly larger circumference than your playing with, this means your sphincter can properly relax and it doesn’t hurt or fee too tight, the nerves will come alive then and you can really begin to enjoy it. My partner always tolerated anal, but she didn’t start enjoying it or orgasming until we worked at opening her up a bit so to speak.
Well for the first time I have managed all of this:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=7010
Which was exciting, the problem now is moving in and out feels very strange!!
It got easier for me, but even now sometimes it can hurt! I tend to need to sit on it first just to help myself get used to it and then enjoy it, as anal is painful if not prepared right!
also the regular use of a dildo or butt plug will help you get used to it easier!
x
Yes it does get easier but use plenty of lube. I have been surprised myself at the sizes thats gone up me and when your own wife has had her hand passed her wrist in a latex glove up your bum then you know that you've been had.
It does get much easier. As above LOTS of lube. Solo play with gradually increasing size toys and also use your fingers to stretch yourself. You'll be surprised just what will fit up there but take your time and don't be tempted to go too big too quickly X
Talking of gradually increasing in size, I've bought and thrown loads of plugs in size stages, now the below may look extreme but it's a far cheaper way to gradually increasing in size so don't discount it if you think you'll go bigger, the "can I take more" thought can get addictive so it's a good choice to sit on, https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17540Terri JJ wrote:
It does get much easier. As above LOTS of lube. Solo play with gradually increasing size toys and also use your fingers to stretch yourself. You'll be surprised just what will fit up there but take your time and don't be tempted to go too big too quickly X
A few of my friends swears that it does get easier overtime..with patience & practise & of course plenty of lube..
I have not ventured into anal play..well,me & my then BF were about to..positioning and getting ready & everything and then out of nowhere,his mother barged in the door to my horror!! 😳😨 Since then i havent the courage to try!! Her face expressions at that exact moment is permanently etched in my mind..That bloody woman ruined it for me haha!! 🤣
Goodluck to you..
curiousme wrote:
Well for the first time I have managed all of this:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=7010
Which was exciting, the problem now is moving in and out feels very strange!!
This is fairly large for a first time tbh, moving in and out is really about muscle control, when you have good control and relaxation you can relax to take it in and sort of contract on the way out, like youre massaging or stroking the cock with your ass. It feels pretty awesome both anally and if your guy is lucky enough to be the one doing the in and out.
Also when your able to really relax you can move the dildo quickly in and out all the way out and all the way back in. It also feels really good, it’s a bit like meditation, training your brain to take control of your muscles back there. The first thing to learn is a little awkward because to relax you need to sort of push like your taking a poo, it doesn’t feel like that for long though before your brain becomes more responsive to those nerve endings and the richness of sensation they can provide.
We are venturing into bum fun.... when Mr Spider touches my bum hole or just puts his finger in me a tiny bit, I find it really exciting, and almost as tingly as my clit - and it's a sure fire way to make me come when one of us is also touching my clit or has a toy or fingers in my vag.
BUT (sorry to go here) is it only me.. that once anything goes any futher than a couple of inches in it makes me want to poo!!!?? We use lots of lube, and he has managed to get his penis all the way in and fuck me for a few minutes...but then I got that terrible feeling.
We have bought this set to try and advance things futher - will that 'feeling' ever stop happening?
Yes it does get easier, but takes lots and lots of gradual play with gradually increasing size. I can now easily get things in that in the past would have hurt like hell.
For me it does get easier for Anal. After a while you can go up in size of a dildo or a butt plug. Like everyone has stressed enough, you have to use lots of lube. Then some day you might even get to doing fisting. That's what I'm working up to now. Is a real good fisting job on me. I have seen a huge dildo called the catapiller. That one is very big circumference. I think it is a size 11 in circumference. If I can get that up my ass, then onto a fisting job.
Alicia4Ever wrote:
Your rectum has nerve endings that sense when it is filling up, and so tells you that you need to go poo. It does take a while for you brain to learn the difference, between anal sex, and needing to poo. the more you do it and the more frequent, the sooner it will fade; but it never goes away compleatly, at least it didn't for me.
if you have douched and you are sure you won't need to go, then just go with the feeling, and try not to think " I have to stop I'm going to poo myself " as this will not help your mind to learn the difference, as you are kind of telling it that you are sure you need to poo, and not " relax brain, I'm having anal sex, I don't need to poo.
Enjoy the sensation, I like the feeling so have learned to tell my mind, I am having a poo, when I'm not. Sort of reversing what I did the first time round.
hey Alicia4Ever
Thank you for your frankness and honesty, my lovely - I shall keep trying! Wondering if my scrambled brain will ever get it though lol
If you really want to enjoy anal sexy fully, I recommend trying anal during some solo play. Us the only way you can explore all the different sensations and have complete control and be able to relate different sensations to what is actually happening. It is also a great way to discover what you like and you can translate this into the bedroom. Try it at least a few times, it will open up a new world of anal pleasure for you.
How regular would you say it needs to be so you don't lose the ability to open up?
Cutecountrygirl wrote:
How regular would you say it needs to be so you don't lose the ability to open up?
I don’t think it needs to be that frequent it is more important to do it regularly at the beginning for the learning aspect both mental control and muscle memory. Once you learn to control the sphincter muscles consciously the muscle memory lasts a long time. I can go a month or more between sessions and still fit my biggest toys that took me a long time initially to work up to. The longer between just means it takes a little extra warmup. If it’s frequent the warmup is less necessary.
Anal is a mental thing actually, the muscle doesn’t actually change or stretch out from training it, it’s just your brains response to the sensation that changes, it learns that what it previously signalled as pain, is not actually harmful and starts to respond differently. That’s a pretty simplistic explanation but it’s close to what happens. Once the brain learns to distinguish though it doesn’t really forget unless you go a long time without practice.
In the beginning I’d say do it as often as practicably possible until you’ve overcome the initial awkwardness, and if you talking about anal sex, get a toy that’s just a bit bigger than your partner and work up until that fits very comfortably, after that, you will be able to take your partner with just a little warmup or even none if it is a frequent occurrence. My lady comes hard from anal, it’s more full body than vaginal, and if I get her in the right spot I can draw the O out for a long time.
Oh definitely! It's a natural response for your body to feel strange when trying anal for the first few times as it is used to things exiting that area rather than entering it. Time, relaxation, patience and lubrication will be your best friends when it comes to backdoor sessions. No need to rush into anything. Take it at the pace your body feels comfortable with and listen to what it's telling you. If you feel like things are moving too fast then they probably are. If you feel like that toy is too big, size down and work up to the other one later. It's all just a learning curve but when done safely at the right pace for you it can feel fantastic :)
I've been looking at:
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=38946
My only concern is that for me the dildo is too large as I'm new to anal. So far I've only used anal beads or my finger.