Whether that is the toys you own, the kinks or fetishes you’re in to or whatever. I go to Swingers clubs and have been to a few BDSM conventions but only a few friends know about it.
3 Likes
Past partners and a few select friends know about my bdsm interests and toy collection.
I did tell a colleague of mine a recommendation for a toy he mentioned he should by and i let slip that i had tested the toy and my opinions of it.
Next day at work there were comments from everyone about pocket pussies and whips, i just laughed it off but i did learn to be selective about who i told etc
2 Likes
@zombifiedguy Yes I know exact what you mean, this is my concern too. My problem is I’m too honest about everything and afterwards I get worried about what I’ve said been passed on to other people who I don’t want to know.
1 Like
I have one friend who has a vague idea - we have similar interests it seems but neither of us has spoken in depth about it, usually things slip out when we’ve had a few drinks! But other than that it’s a secret. I have no problem telling people but I really don’t think they would want to know!
1 Like
Yep! Sounds just like me. I’m learning to be cautious especially about sex, that’s one thing I don’t want all my friends to be talking about 
3 Likes
This is the only place where I can feel free to be my “other self” and feel comfortable to talk openly, and don’t feel that I’m being judged. We’re onto BDSM the full works, I love the pain he gives me when he spanks me, I love golden showers, the warm feeling of it running down my body, anal sex and anal play and the amount of toy’s we use 
tied up, cuffed, spanked, there’s no way I could feel comfortable telling anyone else this. That’s why I love coming to this forum 
and for the first time I’m with someone who isn’t ashamed of me and how the way I look and makes me feel sexy in what I wear for him and turns him on 
11 Likes
Totally agree, I only feel comfortable talking here. I think we can be open and honest without being judged. In some ways its a shame something so pleasurable is not discussed.
3 Likes
I talk quite freely about sex toys and Lovehoney. I pretty much say the same things as I say here. 
We’re into the more vanilla flavour of things though, so maybe that makes it easier.
2 Likes
One of my best friends knows a lot (my toys get delivered to her house 
), my other best friend knows I’m kinky but not details - he’s like a brother and it would just be awkward!
I tend to tell people that I’m dark and twisted and not as innocent as I seem but whether they believe me or not is up to them 
8 Likes
Im pretty kinky, always have been to be honest. first type of porn i ever cam across (accidentally) was niche kink stuff. I’ve picked up more since then, but i think quite a few of them where always baked in.
If i ever get a serious partner, yes id tell them. But you guys are the only ones who know really. As much as i wish it was, its not really easy to discuss sex with anyone i know. i could talk relationships with my family and mates, but kink isn’t really something i can broach with them.
3 Likes
It’s not something I’ll bring up out of the blue but if the topic comes up I’m more than happy to talk about bondage/BDSM and stuff 
I also have a fat fetish but there’s no hiding that when I’m with my OH 
ETA: just to be clear I would never try to hide/be ashamed of my OH at all!!! She’s had other partners like that which sucks
2 Likes
I’m always doing the same. Everyone thinks I’m really innocent to the point that they think they will shock me if they even mention sex. I’m always telling them that I’m not the cute innocent girl that they think I am and they never believe me. I must come across as innocent, I’m not sure why?! 
3 Likes
Know exactly what you mean. Its always us quiet ones, isnt it 
7 Likes
@Kitty-Cat01 when Fifty Shades came out, I was endlessly amused by people being shocked by the BDSM elements, I just laughed and said “Nothing new to me” which made a few people double take.
I’ve had a thing for M/M porn/fic and was writing it from my mid-teens but don’t tend to share that bit of information with many people at all in real life.
3 Likes
I’ve changed with age and life events. For most of my life, my kinks were something strictly private, only brought up with those partners I felt wouldn’t be scared off by them or mock me for them. Back in the 1990s I discovered that my partner (who later became my wife! 
) had discussed my BDSM preferences on a boozy night out with one of her girly mates. I only found this out when said girly mate sent the two of us a jokey valentine’s day present …a pair of fluffy handcuffs. I was BLOODY FURIOUS 
- it very nearly ended the relationship. Fortunately, we managed to get over that betrayal. Eventually.
Since my wife died (2015), I’ve opened up A LOT. I’m now open about my kinks to friends (not family…definitely TMI) - and, I guess, to the wider world, insomuch that I’ve written a poem or two about it, which have been published.*
This has only been possible because of the way that society’s attitudes to kink have evolved in recent years - an evolution in which I’d say that Lovehoney has played a significant role by making access to toys and “apparatus” incredibly easy and by promoting kink activities as a healthy and sane part of sex and relationships. So hooray for LH ! 
Mind you, it’s fairly easy for me to be open to friends about it: my friends circle tends to be heavily LGBTQ+ weighted, and kink-shaming has been pretty thoroughly disapproved of amongst queer folks for a long time.
*In case anyone’s tempted to ask, I can’t show you the poems or point you to where they’re published, cos it would blow my anonymity on this forum
10 Likes
I still haven’t seen the 50 shades movies. To be honest, the idea of watching something like that worries me - I worry that it will make me more frustrated that my OH isn’t interested! Most of the “kinky” parts of my life are solo activities 
People give me funny looks when I mention that I read the 1st book and found it boring
2 Likes
@Kitty-Cat01 - Yes, FSOG isn’t exactly a masterpiece of literature, is it? Have you ever read the english translation of “The Story of O” by Pauline Reage? That might send you right over the edge! 
P.S.: Read the book - don’t bother with any of the dreadful film/TV adaptations!
@Kitty-Cat01 I’ve seen all of the 50 Shades movies and I really enjoyed them. But I’ve seen much worse with my own eyes at BDSM shows than is portrayed in the films
1 Like
Close friends (and family thanks to those parties thrown by a rival shop) know I’m kinky, but only my bestie and I have more in depth chats. Her kinks are slightly different and we have always been open with each other since teen years. It’s good to have someone I trust that I can discuss things away from hubby and know she is the same.
4 Likes
In real life i say nothing. I really only say stuff on here if think my experience can help someone. But i have had a fair few people tell me i’m inncocent looking and that the inncocent looking ones are the worst! 
@Kitty-Cat01 maybe watch the FSOG movies with your partner, you never know, they may inspire them or you could use them to drop not so subtle hints?
4 Likes