Does anyone have any good ones? I remember when getting help from my father in law moving house and a taped-up box of toys went into storage… He picked up the box and suddenly buttplugs, vibrators, dildos… the works all come flying out as the tape broke… x.x the wife was next level embarrased!
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We had our toy bag opened at a customs check at Charles De Gaulle Airport.
The woman spotted some suspicious looking objects in a suitcase and opened it up.
It contained a dildo, a couple of vibrators and a pair of butt plugs.
She didn’t bat an eyelid and neither did I.
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Hahaha!!! 
I once shove a dildo up someone’s butt that was too big for them and they literally leaped to the ceiling!!
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I let someone tie me up once and only discovered that they hadn’t got a clue about knots when after an hour or so’s fun she went to untie me (hand and legs tied to bedposts) only to find she couldn’t get the knots undone. After 20 minutes out came the scissors as her mother was due home shortly.
Only other one that springs to mind is nearly ripping off the ex’s nipple when the clamp chain got caught on her suspender belt mid shag. She screamed. And not in pleasure at that exact moment…
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My worst was when one of my orders from lovehoney ripped open in the post (what they did to it i dont know, but it broke my new wand). Father handed it to me, thankfully all you could see through the massive tear was sliquid lube so they thought it was bath stuff 
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Oh dear… im glad I cant contribute although my son did see my new wand on the bed when it arrived. Thankfully it was in its box and as I have back problems was able to tell him the history of wands and that it was bought as a massager as an off the cuff last attempt to have a massager that works on my back. He definately believed me as he said if he gets sporting injuries he could borrow it.
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You can’t refuse him now! 
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I know. I said to the hubby that it MUST be doubley and trebley cleaned after every use just in case he asks they aren’t allowed in the bedroom unless they have permission. It’s my own fault. I asked him to go and put the ironing piles on the relevant beds and totally forgot it was there 
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Packed a briefcase of toys for a week away. Had mother in-law around to look after the house while we went. As we were leaving I picked up the briefcase and it started vibrating… Grabbed it and got out of the house super quick lol
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I had a near miss last night and wondered if anyone else had experienced this.
So yesterday I received a glass butt plug, my first as I usually use silicone. I couldn’t wait to try it so applied a lot of lube and in it went. Lovely.
I then wiped around to remove any excess lube (important point).
Unable to sit around I had to get dressed and get on with home life. I enjoy wearing thongs rather than boxers and was wearing a little red one made up of mostly string (more a posing pouch then a thong).
Anyway, I got on with household stuff and then sat down, when I did I felt wet (and not in a good way). I made my excuses and dashed to the toilet where I removed my trousers to find a large wet stain from the lube visible from the outside.
Thankfully I was home and hadn’t gone out in public which was my plan but had to remove butt plug and get new trousers.
I’ve never had this with silicon ones, has anyone else experienced this. I don’t really want to have to use cotton pants when wearing the plug as this would take away some of the enjoyment but I also can’t walk around with a visible lube stain.
Sorry the post is so long.
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Yes 
ive had this happen too (thankfully it was with jeans so i got away with it). Your body just slowly expels the lube if you wear a butt plug for longer periods. Glass is admittedly worse for it for some reason. Never happens as badly with my silicon ones for some reason 
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It’s just about adhesion, lube sticks better to silicone and it’s harder for your body to push it out. For me (have in consideration that I’m not wearing anything other than jeans or baggy pants) the best way to keep something like that from happening is to insert the plug twice, once to lubricate the general area, then take it out, wipe all of the lube, apply a thin layer of lube with my finger and insert it the second time. Never got any stains on my underwear using this method, but I guess everyone is built different, so the outcome may vary.
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These are hilarious
My most embarrassing sex toy moments have all involved people seeing my toys. First time it happened I was moving house and the removal men picked up my chest of draws to be greeted by a rabbit vibrator sticking out the back of one of the draws. They had told me to leave it full as it was light and didnt need to be emptied and I forgot it was in there. They just laughed and very politely and discreetly said there was something they thought i would want to take out of the draw. I was mortified.
Second time I had an engineer come to my house to install cable and internet and I had no idea they would need access to my bedroom do hadnt put things away, they apparently did need access to the bedroom window and only after they left giggling and looking at me strangely did I realise that my massive 15 inch dick rambone dildo was right next to where they had been drilling into the wall (it is so big it doesn’t really fit anywhere so usually gets put under the duvet if people other than me or OH are going in the bedroom.
Third time I had to get a plumber out to fix a leak in the bathroom and the day before I had been cleaning toys after a long weekend session, didnt realise a huge butt plug had fallen off the side of the bath and was between the bath panel and the sink but I had also left out the anal douching ball. Plumber found both and had to hand them to me. I wanted to earth to open up and swallow me. I was so embarrassed, all he said was at least they are clean.
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too funny. going on a cruise and had packed toys. when we got the bags in the room someone had removed the batteries, they were in the luggaged just not in the toys
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On one of our vacations, we ended up purchasing 2 Mini wooden surfboards. These were placed in the luggage with the OH’s cosmetics bag (of which her vibe was inside of, one of the harder plastic ones). As we were waiting for our luggage to come around the carousel, we heard this jack hammer-like sound coming from a bag. It turns out that was our bag. What ended up happening was that the cosmetic bag popped open, causing the vibe to fall out. With all the movement from the luggage transport, the vibe button was pushed and the vibe wedged in between the two boards, but had just enough space to make all sorts of racket. Everyone around started looking at the bag inquisitively as it went around. When it came to me, I said, “Oh Hey, thats my bag!” I grabbed and walked away like there was nothing to see here…as it continued to make racket as I walked out the airport! I heard one gal talking to her friend near me right before I picked the bag up say, “10 Bucks says thats a vibrator.”
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