I've been accused at work recently of only knowing dad jokes... Not sure what the problem with that is!! Anyway. Thought I'd start a thread to collect jokes. My fav is the one about the inflatable boy This particular inflatable boy went to an inflatable school where he was not well behaved. One day after being too much for the class teacher he was sent to the headmasters office. Half way through listening to the puffed up headmaster rant about his frequent visits to the office he got bored, picked up a pin and poked the headmaster with it. Knowing he had gone too far he decided to pop the school to cover his tracks. As he watched the school deflate the gravity of his situation dawned on him. Unable to see a way out he decided to end it all and popped himself.... He woke up in hospital with a reinflated headmaster sat on his bed. The headmaster looked at him and said "I'm not going to lie, this hurts. It's not the physical damage its just that you've let me down, you've let the school down, but most of all... you've let yourself down! "
Post any jokes below tho after typing that out on my phone I suggest one liners...!!
I used to go out with a cross eyed girl, but i ended it as she kept seeing other people.
Dyslexic lives mattress.
What's the difference between Oral and Anal? ....One makes your day the other makes your hole weak!
How many screws in a lesbian's coffin? .....None, it's all tongue and groove!
Yes!!! I know factually both inaccurate especially with LH to help but still clever word play and funny. My go to jokes when asked to tell one anyway 🤷🏻♀️😂
My personal favourite is one told by my 8 year old... How does a penguin build his house? I-gloos it 😂
Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
Because he plays with Pooh. 💩
I used to be a furniture salesman, I got fired for doing too many deals under the table.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, ‘Is this stool taken?’
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 7 ate 9 😄
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
Who lies at the bottom of the ocean and robs banks?
...
Billy the Squid
Have you been hit with a rhytym stick? You could be due compensation for personal Ian Dury!
Husband says to wife " why can't you stop playing with my balls"
Wife says to husband " because I miss mine"
I went to the zoo the other day, all they had was a dog! It was a shitzu!
Why did Mr Ohm marry Mrs Ohm? Because he couldn't resist her
Two nuns in the bath,,, One asks 'Where's the soap?
The other replies, while smiling, 'Yes, it does!'
My neighbour just confronted me about items missing off her washing line.
I nearly crapped her pants!
Why is a chicken like a grape?
They are both purple.
Except the chicken.