I went to the toy shop at Christmas and asked for the game Operation, but they told me there’s a 3 year waiting list.
9 Likes
I’ve just watched my first porno….I look bloody young.
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Breakfast time, wife to husband “can i get you some breakfast you just name it”
"No no it’s fine since I’ve been taking viagra,I’ve no appetite "
Lunchtime "honey can I get you some lunch fresh muffins soup you just name it "
"No no it’s fine since I’ve been taking viagra,I’ve no appetite "
Dinner time "what can I get you hun? Rib eye you name it "
No no it’s fine since I’ve been taking viagra,I’ve no appetite "
"Well can you get the f**k off me because I’m starving:
7 Likes
I was told bananas clean your colon, then I read you’re meant to eat them!
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What are an Egyptians favourite chocolates?
Pharaoh Rocher
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Just want to say always trust the NHS. They were excellent removing a mole from my arse. Unlike the RSPCA who will prosecute me if I do it again.
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brilliant
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Fella scores with a very posh lady
They get down to it
She says “My goodness your organ is not very big”
Reply “It’s also not used to playing in cathederals either”
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You know when you’re on the toilet and suddenly notice there’s no toilet roll left and you have to do that awkward trousers round the ankles waddle to get some more? Well, i’m nearly at Tesco!
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I knew this surgeon, who specialised in curcumcision.
He siad the pay was rubbish, but the tips were good
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Bloke waks into bar (Always a good way to start a joke 
)
Says to bar man, “Can i have a pint glass can you put in a large vodka, large whiskey, large rum, large creme de menth, top it up with leomade and add bit of peppermint cordial”
Barman “Celibrating are we sir”
Yes Ive just had my first blow job"
Barman “In that case sir should’nt you be having champagne?”
“Well if this doesn’t take the taste away i’ll try it”
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Barman “sorry, we don’t serve time travellers in here”
A time traveller walks into a bar
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Im off to the circus to see the well known lion tamer
Claude Balls
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Dogging is all well and good. but your car ends up looking like a plasterers radio
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Why do divers fall backwards off the boat?
Because if they fell forwards, they’d still be on the boat
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My mate ran a business selling baked beans glitter and glue-It was a farts and craft shop
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Whats the difference between an egg and a wank??
You can beat an egg!!
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My mother in law went to the pictures yesterday, I asked her if she had enjoyed the film. She said yes, but was spoiled a bit by the man next to her masturebating. When I asked, why didn’t you move she replied, because he was using my hand.
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Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box
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I have a friend who is a pimp and has Dyslexia, he has just brought a warehouse.
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