Hi everyone, hope you’re all having a wonderful evening or day wherever you are.
I’m making this post because I haven’t really seen anyone talk about this and I was wondering if it’s a common problem and also any tips to get through this.
Recently after masturbating I’ve found myself getting horribly miserable, I think in my case it’s because I crave aftercare from another person, I just want someone to hold me and make me feel loved. Sometimes post orgasm I feel disgusted with myself and I know I can’t be the only one who’s ever felt like this.
Has anyone else experienced anything similar to this? How did you/do you cope?
I often listen to music immediately after to try and drown out any thoughts, I could definitely try actually getting up and doing stuff to take my mind off it but I’m pretty tired afterwards
You’ve also just come out of a big relationship and even if you masterbated alone then you still had that connection with your partner. Of course you will feel depressed hopefully soon you will just ride those endorphins over and over and feel the self love and that happy ache.
Yeah I see that, it’s an issue I’ve had for quite a long time though; even when I was in a relationship. Post orgasm I would start to feel so sad like I needed to be held but I quickly got over it because I knew that I could be eventually. Now I know I can’t have that so I think it probably makes it much worse
I read an article once that outlined the hormones the brain sends to the body during and after orgasm and females get a higher dose of oxytocin than men which is known as the love hormone promoting feelings of emotional bonding, which they say is why women crave the hugs and cuddles long after sex is finished because their body continues to release oxytocin even after the orgasm is finished. So it may be your brain is craving someone to bond with and feel close to emotionally after orgasm.
Hi @WaveyAlien, I don’t have a solution to the problem but I can empathize because I get this too. Not every time but about half the time. I’ve tried to work out what’s different about the times when I feel sad and the times when I don’t but I can’t find a common theme. My counsellor suggested that it could be related to a negative feeling towards my body and seeing sex as a bad thing because of how I was bought up. @lowndsey is right about the hormones too!
Are you able to orgasm more than once in a session? I think I feel better if I’ve had more than one orgasm in a session.
If you’re craving comfort after masturbation, maybe you could try something that makes you feel like you’re looking after yourself? I have a heat pad that’s a bit like a mini electric blanket and often use that and my weighted blanket for a bit of comfort when I’m feeling sad.
I have had my share of feeling down and depressed after masturbating, due to a relationship breakup, what I found myself doing was to surround myself with things that excites me, naughty pictures and sexy clothing so I didn’t feel I would slip into my post relationship thoughts, having music on also helped.
Have you thought about comfort food after orgasm? There is nothing like the sugar rush you get from a large block of chocolate or what ever is your favourite treat. As you’ve just experienced one high it’s really good to get another to help you settle down.
What I found worked for me when I was freshly out of a relationship after was to try to stay horny for longer, for me watching porn on and off without masturbating maybe a bit of touching now and then but do this for weeks, so you are sky high horny, I found staying on that horny level was much better for my mental wellbeing. Then when I finally had to give in it felt so much better without any of those nasty thoughts.
I tend to still do this as I love the feeling of being so on the edge a sudden vibration could make me orgasam
Definitely a common issue. Sex should be a two way thing, and when you orgasm alone you realise you’re not in a relationship. There’s no need to feel bad about it, but it does bring to the fore the fact you’re not with someone.
