Feeling lost

@MrSilverback it really is a lovely caring community and I’d be more lost without you all :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Thanks @Kitty-Cat01 I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling the same way too :people_hugging: thank you, I think I’ll stick to my plans this weekend. I hope you can have a lovely weekend too and perk yourself up a bit too. I’m hoping it passes too . Big hugs to you as well :people_hugging::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Its a bit too cold for camping @Amunique but good luck we are all here for you.

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Thanks @GoGirl12 reading all the advice I think it could be a mixture of things. Health issues have been on my mind a lot too. Usually I just hide behind my smile and get on with things but it’s been hard lately. A walk is definitely on the cards . Thank you, hope you’re having a good day :blush:

Don’t worry @steve19 the beach is only a few minutes from home if it gets too cold. I have a body warmer that heats up at the touch of a button :blush: thank you, I appreciate it

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Hey @Amunique hope you have a good relaxing weekend.
I kind of know a little of where you’re coming from, I have days where I simply don’t want to get out of bed and I find it impossible to enjoy anything. I’m quick to blame all my woes on menopause lol but I think a lot of it is winter blues. Everything is so cold and grey at this time of year… doesn’t exactly fill you with joy does it.
Anyway, I hope this is just a blip for you and you come back to your normal self very soon :blush:

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@Amunique I am sorry to hear of your issues . Everyone’s suggestions are good , but if this is mostly a winter thing it sounds like S.A.D. Seasonal Affective Disorder . It hits way more people than you might guess . Winter is darker and cool , but due to winter holidays most people due pretty well until late February . As @MrSilverback mentioned a lack of vitamin D is a common problem , without some exposure to sun light your body does not process it well . Might I suggest a S.A.D. light , made to imitate sunlight and even fairly short exposure can kick start your body to process vitamin D . These are not tanning lights . Though I wonder if they would do the same thing ? I am a wore out grandpa with too many medical issues to list and my wife is disabled along with friends and family having way too many problems of all sorts . Add my PTSD and anxiety and my brain’s plate is full . My best way to cope is texting with a very good friend that may be nearing the end of the road . We text often and tell each other about our troubles and generally give each other humorous trouble . Just texting relieves much of the stress and it helps to know others having a struggle too . Every so often I just lose all drive and have what I call having a pity party for myself . I remind myself that there are many people with much worse problems than myself . Some times even the tiniest of victories can pull me out my slump . My “drugs” of choice are motorcycles and sex . And sex is 98% a solo activity which gets boring . Even an hour or two on one of my motorcycles can clear my head ( we refer to it as helmet time ) . Preferably a ride in the country or mountains . I live in Washington State where we are well known for our rain and dark days , very similar to where you live . Weeks of rain and darkness can drag anybody down . Here is virtual hug from afar . :people_hugging:

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Im definitely lost and have been for a while. Nothing seems interesting or enjoyable lately, so many feelings that i should be in a different situation or point in my life but i dont know what it is.
I wish i could offer some helpful advice but all i can think of is getting some time away from things to relax and maybe your feelings about things will change.
I hope you find your direction soon and that goes for everyone else who is struggling too

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Thanks @wildflower hopefully you can have days when you lay in bed when you want to :hugs:… I remember being very teary during menopause but my sex life took off lol …aye it’s so dark in the mornings and grey during the day at the moment. Thank you I’m sure I’ll bounce back soon :blush:hope you’re ok :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Can very much relate, although not sure if same underlying reasons or what not, and maybe for me it is more ‘alone’, or ‘lonely’.
Really sorry you’re going through it though, my own experience isn’t a lot of fun, yet I imagine there are many others feeling similar.
A wise man once said, whatever you’re feeling, whatever the experience, this too shall pass. And it does - it doesn’t feel that way, but it does.

After I left my relationship it has been really tough. Not only was it someone I love dearly, but also my best friend too.

It’s been around 2 months now, and feeling a little better than I was, but yeah, a little lost, struggling to identify me, what I want, what makes Mr_Kink happy (outside of a relationship, sex or kink).

So I’m trying to take things back to basics, yet finding that difficult, tiresome almost. I want to start enjoying life, but not sure what that looks like, or how to involve others with that. For now, taking simple steps of not letting thoughts absorb me, merely observing them and being more mindful. I am sure the right things will come along at the right time.

So yep, that word lost is very relevant.

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Hi @Oldman and thank you. I’ve never even heard of S.A.D. but it makes sense. I’m out every day even if it’s just a walk into town, but I’ll Google S.A.D. and the lamp. Thank you. Lol I’m a worn out greatgranny with just a few issues. I thought I was having a pity party too, but it’s comforting to know I’m not alone in feeling this way. I too know there’s always someone worse off no matter what we’re going through :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:. I don’t even have a bicycle never mind a motorcycle lol I don’t think people would be safe here if I had one. I get that solo sex is boring after a while too, I felt great when I found LH and the variety of toys etc but now I just ain’t interested in them. I hope you’re ok today :hugs: thanks for the advice and the hug :blush::hugs:

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Thanks @zombifiedguy , sorry to hear your lost too. I’m definitely going social media free this weekend. I’d go phone free too if my kids didn’t worry. It’s good to get away with them but feels suffocating sometimes too. I don’t mean that to sound bad but I just need my own space to sort my head out, or try. I hope you find something to make you happier too. It’s sad so many of us are going through this but at least you know you’re not alone. Hope you’re ok :hugs:

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@Mr_Kink1 , sorry you’re going through it too :hugs: I don’t feel lonely, I’ve been on my own since September 2013 and I’m generally happy.
Thank you, no it’s not a lot of fun but as you can see now a few of us are feeling the same way. I hope that wise man was right because it really needs to pass and soon.
I’m glad you’re feeling a wee bit better than you were 2 months ago, step by step you’ll get there :blush:
Identifying me is part of it, remove all the labels and I don’t know who I am or who I’m supposed to be. What makes me me .
Someone once asked me to be mindful of my thoughts but that just multiplied my thoughts so I gave up on that idea lol . I hope you sort things out soon and find yourself again :blush::hugs:

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Sorry to hear you are feeling so low @Amunique I’m not one for words or advice that would be of any use.
But I will say my thoughts are with you and send love and support to you.

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Thank you so much @Mercyun it means a lot . Hope you’re ok :blush:

What do you feel has brought this kinda though pattern on? Has anything in your life changed of late that could contribute to the way you’re feeling?

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Could be a mixture of things @AJSTAR

Getting up when it’s still dark, cold, health concerns, not being able to go my long walks, not eating what I want, letting folk down because I can’t go where we planned to go, just feel pretty useless lately.
Hope you’re ok now :blush:

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@Amunique you are not alone with this feeling, i have felt lost for a long time now with no zest for life.
My weekends are mostly wasted just being a couch potato and I have to force myself or be forced to do anything.
My income has allowed me to have some of lifes niceties (boys toys!) but i just have no desire to get any enjoyment out of any of them,in fact the only thing i desire is the one thing I can’t have!!!
I have many short term energy release behaviours (sterbs) and I know I’m doing it but i haven’t got the discipline or control to stop myself.
My grief recovery specialist gave me all the tools i need to help myself but i just have no desire to do so!
I’ve questioned myself many times but just can’t find the answer,especially in todays world,i need to change and soon but i just don’t know how to.

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I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through it too @pootle . You don’t even know where you’re going to be sleeping each night which can’t help. You’ve got it a lot worse than me :people_hugging: at least I go out I just don’t know what to expect when I get home. I totally get what you mean with the toys which is why I binned most of mine the other day. Sometimes being given all the info and tools is so overwhelming and freaks us out, and sometimes we just say yeah yeah we don’t need that crap. Everyone recovers from grief differently but I don’t think we fully recover at all. When my dad died I wrote my feelings down and went through all sorts of emotions. It helped me, it even helped an old school friend as her dad had died after Alzheimer’s too. There are always more questions than answers but I hope you’re being kind to yourself and hope you get your spark back one day soon. You take care :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

@pootle, I’ve been feeling bloody awful & depressed for many years now mate, deep down I’m miserable, not showing my feelings. For the first time in my life I’ve stated to talk about how I feel, (with a Counsellor), although I’m struggling & not finding this very helpful & it’s costly, I don’t have any real friends, & only talk on this forum. I try to be positive for my girlfriend.

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