Hi i have this submissive guy and we sometimes chat over text. He says he likes me to be brutal towards him over text and to degrade humiliate him. Hes says the more brutal the better. And he also wants me to set him kinky tasks to do but i have run out of ideas. The last thing i said to him was something awful about him not being able to satisfy his ex wives and he seemed to love that. Any ideas for where to take this next much appreciated. He is an older man I’m 27 years younger then him.
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I’m a sub to my wife who’s the Domme but we don’t do verbal stuff. There’s loads of websites out there with advice on degradation and similar kinks.
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@rockstar thank you! Ive had a little look online but as our relationship is purely verbal its hard to find anything suitable. And as hes an older man im not really sure what he will be able to handle.
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@Just_Lillie
I have loads of ideas - but how do you know he is doing the tasks without photos or videos ?
I have in the past told my husband to put on just a skimpy pair of knickers and peg the washing out in the garden and another time to tie rope all over the penis and balls and separate the balls and then send me photos
Or to photo himself posing in just suspenders and stockings while on working
Without proof you cannot humiliate him
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@batjamboree that is very true i could probably get him to send me photos if i asked so as many ideas as possible id be grateful for! I want to keep him on his toes.
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Without knowing what tasks you’ve set or what you’ve said before, its hard to give advice. I would recommend googling as you’ll be able to pick out the things you’ve not done before. You could always repeat tasks, do X longer or shorter etc.
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@Just_Lillie
Demand to see photos of him or at least parts of his body - you don’t want to waste time if he is using your time to get a laugh out of you or to make himself look good to others
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100%, @rockstar. I realise that some people get off on the degradation/humiliation thing, but I can’t really figure out why. Sexterminatrix may do some surprising [consentual] things with/to me but there’s always respect and intimacy involved.
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It’s not something we do but, since the introduction of the female led chastity, the impact play the feminisation and the water sports I’m beginning to see the appeal of degradation too.
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If you haven’t already you need to check with him if there are any areas that are off limits. When people have an obvious trigger, they tend to mention it but it can be small stuff they’ve never thought that much about but could actually be a bit damaging. It’s also worth having a conversation about their mental health, have they had any specific issues and, if so, what did they do about them etc. It is also worth having a think about these for you, whilst you don’t need to take what you dish out, you also shouldn’t hate/feel bad about what you are saying.
I would also recommend a safe word. Something that you can both use to tell the other than you either aren’t in the mood or for them to say that whatever was said didn’t work for them or triggered something for them.
In terms of tasks:
- Have him write some tasks for himself, you can then pick the one(s) you like and maybe make them a little harder/meaner
- have him write on his body some of the things you say to him (like “useless” on his penis). Just be careful if there is anyway someone else could see them (if he wears a thin white shirt, uses urinals, goes swimming/gym, gets changed in a locker room, medical appointment etc).
- if some pain is ok, wax his body hair. If not, shave his pubes in a certain way (completely off, just leave a strip, heart etc)
- service type stuff - have him research things for you. Need to travel somewhere, get him to look up public transport times or a driving route, need a new appliance, get him to find you a good deal or model etc. When he gives you the info, you can verbally humiliate him over it. Took too long, too quick (“do you have a fetish for fridges or something?!”), not what you asked for.
- get him to watch a movie that we wouldn’t normally and he has to give you a report on him (basic plot, what his fave and least fave bits, characters etc). You can then use what he says against him at a later date.
- I wouldn’t over use this one but you can get him to do something silly/pointless and film it just to see if he will do it (and so you can mock him for it). Something like dance to a girly type song, do 20 star jumps whilst spinning in a clockwise circle and singing the national anthem.
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@Calie thank you this will help me very much, i hadnt even thought the simplest of things would be seen as degrading. @Sexterminator no i didnt really get the apeal of degradation at first, but it definatly makes me feel powerful dishing it out and he likes it too so win win! 
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Wow has he got any limits set out to what he wouldn’t do?
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@AJSTAR his only limits from what weve spoken about is nothing involving blood, knives or scat. So pretty open.
Having a frank conversation around this will let you set your own level.
For me, when I’m feeling submissive I love degradation and humiliation to the extreme.so I sat with the OH and we had a long discussion about topics that I’d find hot, those that’d be a turn off and let her know to go wild within those bounds and to go as harsh as she likes (and in doing so to trust me to let her know what was good and what didn’t do it for me)
You’ll never find a fits all scenario; my advice is to communicate openly about it to find your flow.
Once you have that, you can also come back to ask much more specific advice which I’m sure we would all happily indulge in helping with!
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So maybe as an idea you could tell him to go shopping with a bra and knickers on and send you a photo selfie in the toilets!
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As many know I have a submissive man and only allow him to cum when I say so and it’s been 3 weeks now since I allowed him to cum.
Last night I had a wonderful time sitting on his face and he gave me a good number of orgasms with his tongue and so I rewarded him with a new pair of pink mesh knickers which he appreciated
However today we had a bath together and while he is in chastity he had to wear his knickers in the bath and only I can tell him to remove them or change them
When he was finished he stood up in the bath and I had a wonderful view of his massive cock showing through the pink knickers and so to tease him I told him to pull his knickers down and I took his cock in my mouth to test him and I told him before not to cum - but within about 10 seconds of me sucking him he pulled his cock out and then shot his load over me
As you can appreciate he was not allowed to do this and I need to punish him and I need your advice so I ask the usual gang including @Oldman and @rockstar and @Lexifer what should I do
I thought about confiscating his lingerie for a week or a strict canning on his bottom and on the end of his penis- any suggestions please 
I’d honestly say having the punishment fit the crime is beautiful, even if it’s only loosely.
If the next time he cums (bonus points for it being a ruined orgasm) he either wears the load on his face and has to keep it there. Or cums into those panties and keeps wearing them until you decide.
I’m all for fitting punishments.
I recently was having some fun with a domme via WhatsApp. I’m not sub but she is very domme and I didn’t mind playing along for the fun of it. Her favourite, which I quite enjoyed, was calling me and demanding I masturbate while she just said whatever came to her head, sometimes filth, sometimes encouragement and sometimes she was using humiliation.
She would either encourage me to cum multiple times, until it was so hard to keep up or she wouldn’t allow me to cum at all.
I did enjoy it despite it not being my ‘thing’.
Coming when expressly forbidden is a serious thing.
Speaking as the chastity sub spanking, flogging etc would be no punishment at all as I would enjoy that far too much. Banning the wearing of lingerie is better but too lenient for a serious offence.
The essence of male chastity is ‘tease and denial’. The worst thing in the world for me is denial without the tease. Set a period of time (in weeks) during which neither he nor you will touch his genitals.
Alternatively tease him with no physical contact. Make him watch you come but do not allow him to touch you or join in in any way. Send him away and masturbate alone knowing he will be imagining what you are doing. Tell him how wonderful it was but don’t tell him what you did.
Just some suggestions that would make me regret any transgressions.
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You credit me with much more experience in the sub-dom play time ! I have barely been able to get my wife to be a dom a very limited number of times , and that was a long time ago . She never really got into it as much as I wished . I am afraid if it were me , I would be in trouble often . As a matter of fact I would probably be dehydrated from cumming so much . Sorry , I will have to let @Lexifer and @rockstar assist you in punishments .
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