Perhaps just the communication with you is enough for him. The idea of the things you tell him and communicating with you is enough for him to get off.
Seems like you are at two different levels. Is the Dom thing just fun thing for you or is it more of a business thing you have going?
@Pogo69 its just for fun, a way to blow off a little steam i guess. But it stops being fun when he dosnt stick to the rules. In the beginning he actually told me to give him tasks saying he would do anything to please me but to be honest ive yet to see it. Im also thinking hes just stringing me along now because i told him im looking for a new sub and he hates the idea of that!
Hopefully you find a new play partner that wants to play at the same level. I was going to suggest some ideas for you, but it doesnāt seem like he would do them from what you are saying about him.
@Pogo69 im all up for suggestions who knows he may miraculously change his ways. Id also thought about not talking to him for a few days letting him stew! Hes definatly on his last chance with me before i look elsewhere though!
Yes perhaps a little silent treatment might bring him around. As for ideas. If he was going to provide you images I would suggest make him take photos of himself humping different things or using different things around his cock to wank with. I always thought one degrading thing would be to have to blowup an inflatable doll and then hump it with someone watching. Then if you really wanted to degrade him, have him clean up the cream pie he just made.
Of course there is the crossdressing that has already been discussed along with wearing it outside the house and providing a photograph from a dressing room.
Make him go out and buy some sexy shoes or boots that are obviously his size and then provide a photo of him wearing them or at least trying them on.
@Pogo69 Iāll give some of these a go but to be honest Iām not holding out much hope and think it might finally be time to move on. Iāll keep you updated!!
He sounds like heās just getting off on the conversation. Youāre letting him get away with disobeying you mind, a dom(me) wouldnāt do that. Iād just disappear and if he decides to behave himself, he can prove it and grovel.
@JoCat as a dom im still learning yes i believe you are right and i should be more strict i think the best form of action will be to do what you have said and again as you have said if he is serious he will grovel. Thanks for all your advice both @Calie and @JoCat ive taken alot from it and now have a plan going forward.
Evening,
A little late in the party but from what it sounds like, it could be one or a combination of the following:
I would try a very structured, quite simplistic task.
Get 5 pairs of knickers - rates them from most comfortable and least challenging to wear all the way up to downright difficult (think real itchy, tight, a couple of sizes too small, g-strings in lacy pink)ā¦ā¦start at say level 2 and ask him to wear them for 24 hours. For each day he delays, the level goes up one. If he complies without delay, he can swap to the level 1 pair after 12 hours, for example.
This should at least prove if he is genuinely interested or just yanking your chain.
Good luck and hope itās helpful š©·
I would get him to find a new outfit that excites him, really make a big deal about how it would look, feel etc. Then order it and when it gets delivered, show him what he could of had if he had behaved. Then either return it to the store for real or hide it away for when he has pleased you enough to be rewarded.
@MrsT @Dress4Success all fantastic ideas thank you 
ill keep you updated
What a shame youāre struggling to get him to undertake those tasks. What youāve described is hardly extreme and I can tell you (myself included) that there are lots of subs who would love to undertake them for you.
If youāre struggling with these tame tasks then Iād suggest it might be time to move on to someone who is more willing and eager to reciprocate your efforts.
Sounds to me like you are trying harder than he is. Sorry if thatās harsh but thatās the impression I get reading this chain of message - and as I say (feels like Iām pitching here! 
) there are many subs who would jump at the chance to serve you.
@Game_for_anything ive only recently started getting into the domme roll. In my everyday life i have a heart of gold and care to much, so thought this would be a good way to let off some steam. He says he likes me controlling him and belittling him and giving him tasks. to be honest i dont feel in control of him at all. He picks and choses when he wants to be sub and even said to me once āi want to cum, but when ive cum i wont talk to you and that wont be fair on youā in my eyes thats definatly not how a sub should behave or even speak to his domme! Most days it feels like hes controlling me and thats not what i signed up for when we started this. Its getting me so bloody frustrated! Im starting to think hes just a lonely old man in need of some attention.
I think you know your answer donāt you? You sound like a lot of fun and I think you deserve someone who will reciprocate. Thereās nothing worse than a one way effort at something like thisā¦ it sounds like you have a lot of ideas. Whilst Iām no expert, for sure it canāt be up to him what happens and when if heās really playing the sub role.
This is definitely not a sub. At the very least heās topping from the bottom.
You need to lose this person now and find someone who truly is a sub.
@Game_for_anything @rockstar another thing that keeps happening thats pissed me off. He keeps hinting we meet up. So i say ok just to call his bluff. And everytime he makes excuses not to (not very good excuses) then weeks later he says things like āi should have met you but i know i blew it, you just get me so hornyā so this weekend he did it again so i sent a message saying meet me and hes ignored it! Its getting predictable and boring. I think the only thing that keeps me hanging on hoping it will change is when its good he turns me on so much! But everyone on here is right hes not a sub and i should definatly get rid!
100% time to ditch. Suspect heās getting off on the attention and focus and thatās his kink.
Sounds like a emotion and time sponge, so time to cut your losses and move on.
Playing games is fine in a parlour room but not cool with people. Plenty of folks who will give you more back and are actually genuine.
Hi guys just a quick update. After a year of online based control ive finally kicked my āwannabe subā to the curb! Weve been here so many times before and hes always come sniffing around saying it will be different this time. I need to be strong and not ponder to his every whim or i may as well call myself the submissive. Any tips on being a better harsher domme a domme that takes no shit would be greatly appreciated, im just starting out and at the moment my heart often gets in the way and im too nice!
I donāt think in your case you need to be a harder or better domme. By the sounds of things even for a beginner your doing a great job. Itās your subs who need to be better or better matched. Stay clear of time wasters and as soon as someone shows you the flags end it straight away. Only invest your time into someone who deserves it.
@Deanna32 thank you for your vote of confidence also another thing. Hes said āit will be hard for me not to look when you are on line.ā So i said ill make it so you dont see me online. So he said please dont block me. I said ill turn my online status off. Hes told me not to do that either. What is he trying to do to me? I told him i wouldnt turn my online status off. But shhhh i did! 