So I'm upset, sorry this is a rant. My fiance who I've been with for four years and am marrying at the end of the year is currently away with the army for 8 months. He's already been gone for three months. He's difficult to communicate with and we're both busy so it has been hard. I'd love to be able to talk dirty with him but I know that he doesn't feel comfortable with it so I've tried not to push the issue. Every now and then I'll drop some hints but it never goes anywhere.
So yesterday he messaged me to ask me to send a text message from his phone as his mobile contract will expire if it's not used. I turned on his phone for the first time in months and loads of messages popped up. I didn't intend to snoop. Honestly I didn't. I know I shouldn't have done it but I went onto his facebook messages. I could only see the last line of the conversations that he was having and one of them caught my eye.
It was a message from a girl and it said something about being horny. So I clicked on it. It was a conversation from one of his exes. A fuckbuddy I think rather than a girlfriend. And they had a whole conversation reminiscing about the sex that they used to have. Honestly, the conversation wasn't all that explicit and if he usually talked about sex with me I probably wouldn't have thought much of it.
I don't have a problem with them being friends or talking. But he talked more about sex with her than he ever has with me. It was only talking about what they used to do and then the conversation ended with "not fair, you've made me really horny now." It wasn't like he was arranging to meet up with her or talking about having sex with her now.
But still, I am really really hurt. I told him what I had seen and he's apologised, said that he knows he shouldn't have done it and that he loves me bla bla bla. I never, ever thought that I had to worry about this kind of thing with him. I always trusted him completely. And now I feel totally betrayed. I haven't seen him in months which makes things hard enough and now I don't feel like I can trust him. This just seems so out of character for him.
He's coming home in less than three weeks for his two week holiday before he's away again and I should be really excited. But I feel sick. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to destroy our relationship and I know in reality that what he did isn't all that bad. But all I can think about is punishing him. He messaged me today and I ignored it. What do I do? How long should I maintain this angry silence?