So yesterday I completed a drive by of club and hotel, just to ensure I understood the surroundings etc to make me feel comfortable when we go. All was good.
We had more sex last night and she said she wanted me to fuck another woman. We also shared an article on soft swap and hard swap.
Really now we need the date to come up!!! Hurry up dull January!
Certainly is. So more conversation has now gone on last night. We are clearly both very excited and both nervous. I’m the more dominant partner in the relationship and she takes a back seat so we need to be aware of that dynamic. She’s not a hugely confident person so it’s teasing that out with this experience.
She wants to take it incredibly slow, we may not do anything at all, we may have sex in a private room and leave it at that, maybe we do it in the open area, it’s about what we are both comfortable with and how the atmosphere takes us.
She doesn’t want to touch or do anything with a woman but she might like one doing something to her possibly but very unsure and will depend on how the night goes again.
She’s also unsure about hard swap at that moment, I’m her only one, so that’s something she isn’t sure about ruining. We’ve been clear that everything is safe. I’ve had a vasectomy, she’s not on any contraception so for safety everything will be condom driven. We wouldn’t say anything less though even if she was on the pill etc.
I think the night will take a life of its own when we get stuck in. We are clear on boundaries now, which is her bum is mine, no kissing and no ejaculations in her and she won’t BJ.
So really now, everything is in place it’s about the outfit… It’s neon night, but unlikely to sort that until the Saturday day. I’ll want to shave her and get toys packed etc so we go nice and clean and tidy.
We go in open minded, both with our boundaries, we’ve talked about our get out word if mentioned and uncomfortable. We talk things through there if we move forward to hard swap for example. We both know that if it’s not for us and we need to get out, we’ve got a hotel room for our own fun to be had so that’s a great safety net.
We’ve got shark week to get thru as well next week so need that to come on time as well and out the way, hope that doesn’t ruin things for us… with all this planning.
It’s getting exciting 
Sounds good, the communication is great.
Oh it always makes me giggle on swinging sites when people say ‘no kissing’ 
We can lick and suck the life out of each others private parts - but no kissing 
But many people choose to have this rule.
You guys are going to get so nervous when the time comes, but it’s all part of the excitement x
I always had a kissing rule on fab, I wouldn’t have entertained even a conversation with someone who didn’t kiss. The kiss was the decider.
Then after a break up, the idea of kissing someone new turned me, and I had a no kissing rule 
but then I also had a no sex rule. I was purely practicing slow oily wanks while I got used to the idea of men again.
Kissing is very intimate, I get it. Its a boundary, just like it’s a boundary for other people that there must be kissing. Just not bad kissing, nobody wants that!
Yeah the kissing thing is interesting, I was reading some sites about this and scenarios, what happens if the boundaries want to be changed when you are mid flow or there. This example was they had a no kissing rule but during the act with another couple the other man asked the hubby if he could kiss her.
In the heat of the moment do you change the boundaries or not. Communication is key. The answer should be no as that’s what you agreed of course and the other guy shouldn’t be asking but there we go.
As I say, it’s the OH who is more nervous about all this, less confident but wants to go and try. It may not be for us or maybe not for her or maybe not for me…we shall see.
As I also read, when something is done, it can’t be undone… So lots of good advice read.
I really hope she’s an absolute nymph, takes a lead, gets in to it and enjoys it, I think with the club we’ve chosen it’s very night club/pub esque so you can do nothing and see nothing if you choose to I guess. That won’t happen from what I can tell, we will have pent up sexual tension, so having sex at least somewhere in the club will happen I’m sure.
I’m the more dominant partner in the relationship, more confident and the higher sex drive, that said hers is high, probably wanting it every 2-3 days whereas I would want it every 1-2 days 
I’m also wandering if we build her up that week and don’t have sex for a few days before to really build that tension. I might have to have a play though
Anyway we shall see, it will take a life of its own and we will absolutely see how it plays out.
The night we are going to is neon night so run by someone from fab. So I’m hoping that means a few games and interaction to get the crowd going, think there are strippers (although missus doesn’t really like strippers lol) and neon paint etc. Anyone been to an event in a club like that? I know it will be very very busy though.
I haven’t been to one of those events but I’ve seen some pictures of the aftermath.
Looks like a big fun mess 
I would agree that if anyone wanted to do something that wasn’t within the boundaries, they should refrain from doing so at that moment until you have both had another discussion to make sure everyone is on the same page, then maybe you can change your rule going forwards.
Bear in mind that in a club:
Say if you were playing together on a bed and a couple came to play beside you, then slowly you started to play together - in the moment you may not have communicated your boundaries to them.
So if one of you were to just go ahead and kiss them after they initiated - this may cause some conflict between yourselves.
So just make sure you’re both open and clear with other people to avoid any of that.
I’m not sure that you’ll need to build her up for the week, maybe the opposite. Lots of sexy fun might get her excited and wanting more.
But the best part for us together is the couple of weeks following the party where we just can’t get enough of each other.
Makes us so horny for days!
Our first club visit is in two days time 
We’ve had so many conversations about it all, so now feel as prepared as we will ever be.
Our boundaries for the first visit are that we will only play together, not involving others, although being watched or in close proximity to others is ok.
Then we will take time to reflect and decide what might have felt tempting, if anything and if that shifts the boundaries in the future.
That sounds very sensible and really in reality is probably where my OH is and I am. It’s just the thought that it could go further in the moment as we have talked about the boundaries. Good luck and let us know how it goes!!! I’m very intrigued!!
Our thinking for the first time (bearing in mind how nervous we are) is that we would rather leave and regret NOT doing something then leave and regret having done something.
We can always go back with altered boundaries.
I totally agree with you. Although we had an accidental swing at a Christmas party one night we felt the same as you. Our first club visit had a meet and greet, we were shown around, both used the changing facilities but didn’t play on that night nor did we feel any pressure to. Things have changed a bit for our visits since then 
We have a very similar arrangement when we visit clubs. My misses really enjoys being watched and same room fun. She never plays with guys but will play with other females. The variety of rooms available, dungeons etc add some extra fun to the night
I can’t imagine not kissing, I feel that it would help me relax and try things not tried, i.e kissing touching another woman. Can’t imaging going straight to playing with her boobs or pussy without sensual kissing.
Yeah you could be right… Maybe we need to revisit that one…
Only do what you’re comfortable with. There’s plenty of others who don’t do kissing with others.
More chat alert!! 
Which ended in very very steamy love making.
So we went through our profile on another site lol. We’ve had a couple contact us and we are going to see them at the club. Very casual and catch them for a chat and a drink see how things go.
We talked again about the experience and going slow, she said she can’t 100% say anything will happen and in her head she’s got to get round why I want someone to make love to her when I love her and I’m her husband. As mentioned we are totally comfortable with this, if nothing happens then nothing happens, if she gets weirded out then no issues.
But, she said when I probed deeper again about how turned on I was with her with someone else she got very turned on and in her head again says she loves the idea but had to get over the act of doing it when she’s been mine for fifteen years. It’s a really interesting point psychologically and I’m so interested in how it’s going to play out.
She again though when we role played it out said she would definitely like me with the girl. Lots of steamy role play then kicked off and she got very very dirty. Great fun was had!
Hurry up shark week, hurry up end of the month!
I’m booked to go to a bi-night at a club in early Feb… it isn’t my first visit, but haven’t been for a while… I’m sooooo looking forward to it.
It can be a lovely social evening, or more … depending on who you meet… and more importantly, who you click with! … anything that goes on is completely consensual… just enjoy the occasion! Xx
Regt can be daunting on your first visit, I was VERY nervous … I usually am when going somewhere for the first time, but you will soon feel at home.
Cant wait til beginning of Feb xx
R xx
I feel just the same - I want to kiss someone then if the mood is right, take things further
Although it still feels really strange going out and trying to connect with people in this way.
Sometimes I get shy and nervous to approach the people I actually like, end up spending my time just chatting to anyone haha x
Well, I’m not sure what else we can now all prepared for it so will be quiet for a while. I’m willing shark week to happen, due any time, if it waits to Wednesday or Thursday then it’s going to cause issues and potentially cancel things or postpone.
We’ve also …tmi… But got a bit of thrush to deal with as well, so maybe some abstinence for a week might help, should be sorted though with some meds etc.
I can’t wait until we find out what happens on the night… The anticipation is killing me!! Honestly, I hope the OH becomes a nymph we shall see 
How did the club go… We want a full report… Or is it tonight either way, full report please!!