Since moving back home over the Christmas break two of my flatmates at halls have decided they now hate me & have made day-to-day nasty comments to me. They've removed me from social media (to my relief) and now as I am about to move back to halls I'm quite worried things will escalate. They say they do not like me as I am arrogant & have too much self-confidence and I am worried that they will continue to make comments once I move back, as I still have 5 months left in my lease contract. I thought I could spend more time with my best friend at his flat and spend more tie at the library so I'm not in the flat but I am still quite scared to go back. Can anyone give me some advice as to what to do. I was bullied all through high school and have attended counselling twice due to it as well as suicide support. I just don't think I can handle this again.
5 mths left on your contract or not, you can't stay there! As immature as they are, and shit they are really immature, I'd bitch slap them in a heart beat!!
Talk to this friend and explain just how terrible it's making you feel, if that fails, can family sort you out with something as a stop gap. You won't learn much with this hanging over you, and trust me I know full well what bullying can be like! It's shit!
Tell your councellor too, it's important that they are aware of this! What about the Dean, can you have a word there incase the worry affects your studies!
My friend said I can stay at his once a week & I may go home at weekends so I'd be there 3 nights a week, I can't get out of my lease, we're all 20 but I'm the only 3rd year, they are 1st so I need to focus on my studies as it determines my degree this year (hence why I moved there). The worst thing is, I told them about when I was bullied in school & they are doing the same thing so it hurts me more than it should, I am a confident person & it can come off badly but I don't mean it too, I don't drink or go out partying which they've made clear they aren't happy about so they se that to leave me out of things but I refuse to change myself to be accepted. I've been to the university counselling twice now to deal with issues due to being bullied, so the uni is aware of my mindset, I spoke to my halls office and nothing can be done, I'd go back home but I can't aford to pay rent and money to travel and money for my parents so I have to stay there some of the time.
Thanks for listening guys, it means a lot that I can let this out as it was eating me up inside x
Firstly, I want to say sorry that this is happening to you. No one should ever go through something like that. Let alone more than once.
Is it at all possible to get a mediator from the halls office/some educational higher power to sit with you and those nasty people to talk about what they're problems are? By the sounds of it, you need safeguarding from these people. And it's the responsibility of the halls and Dean to do this.
Stand your ground if they refuse. Make a point and tell them just how volatile it makes you feel. If need be, tell them how scared you are for your life.
YOU are important. YOU are special. YOU deserve happiness. And please, Please don't let the bastards grind you down. X
Obviously they are a couple of years younger than you and need to mature still. You'd think by University, people would have grown out causing petty drama. They're not happy because you don't drink or go out? There is much more to life and I find it highly immature that they'd be annoyed about that. There's a fine line between confidence and arrogance, from what I've seen from your posts here you're definitely not on the arrogant side of the line. I think you need to get someone in authority to talk to your flatmates because this behavior is absolutely unacceptable. Being bullied is disgusting and I'm so sorry you've been through this already, you do not deserve that and you don't deserve this.
Having goals in life and wanting to do well doesn't make you arrogant, it makes you determined and in control of your future. Keep your head up, I hope you're alright and can find a way to keep yourself safe from these bitches. Sending hugs and support x
Obviously they are a couple of years younger than you and need to mature still. You'd think by University, people would have grown out causing petty drama. They're not happy because you don't drink or go out? There is much more to life and I find it highly immature that they'd be annoyed about that. There's a fine line between confidence and arrogance, from what I've seen from your posts here you're definitely not on the arrogant side of the line. I think you need to get someone in authority to talk to your flatmates because this behavior is absolutely unacceptable. Being bullied is disgusting and I'm so sorry you've been through this already, you do not deserve that and you don't deserve this.
Having goals in life and wanting to do well doesn't make you arrogant, it makes you determined and in control of your future. Keep your head up, I hope you're alright and can find a way to keep yourself safe from these bitches. Sending hugs and support x
This. Exactly this.
I am sorry that you're being forced to deal with this pathetic display on their part. you don't deserve it in the slightest. Someone needs to knock some sense in to these people, and looks like flat warden might be the best bet.
Honestly, it's University. People are suppost to have outgrown teenage drama by this point.
Stay Strong, Stay Safe and remember that we'll be here, in whatever capacity possible x
Since youve spoken to your halls office, it is time to escalate to the Student Accomoadation office. Most uni's will have a central office in the main heart of the uni.
Also speak to your year tutor on your course about this and have the faculty intervene with accomodation office.
Being in 3rd year is no joke and you dont need this sort of extra hassle.
Furthermore you have paid halls fees to be in halls of residence and live there safely. Not try and find ways to escape from being there which is only going to affect your studies, finances and health.
If they start damaging your property then dont hesitate to call the police too.
Thanks everyone for your advice, I wne tback today and spoke to the accomodation office again so tey are now investigating my claim and hopefully they will move me to a different flat or to a flat that is empty so I can be on my own.
Thanks everyone for your advice, I wne tback today and spoke to the accomodation office again so tey are now investigating my claim and hopefully they will move me to a different flat or to a flat that is empty so I can be on my own.
That is good news, very good news! Keep us all posted! x
Thanks everyone for your advice, I wne tback today and spoke to the accomodation office again so tey are now investigating my claim and hopefully they will move me to a different flat or to a flat that is empty so I can be on my own.
Quite right too.
I had a similar situation but I was in private accommodation so I had to live out the lease. Part of being in halls is for the support. You have a reasonable claim as long as you have evidence. Good luck with it. It's miserable to be uncomfortable in your own home.x
I had a roomate in the halls who liked to steal my things or let her friends use my stuff, eat my food, wear my clothing and host weekend guests without telling me or asking me if I had anywhere to go. Waking up on the top bunk to your roomie getting it on with a random bar hook up was awful. And the woman had awful hygenie and NEVER washed her sheets... makes me gag thinking about it.
I spent almost a third of the school year locking everything I cared about up in my closet and used a chain on my dresser to secure it and was lucky enough to find other places to sleep. In hindsight I wished I had complained and asked for other accomodations because the stress of it all was awful.
And can you believe years later this woman tried to "friend" me on facebook.
I was about to sugest contacting the university accommodation office, assuming you are in a hall of residence. One of our daughters, after graduating, stayed on working in the accommodation office for a while and they invariably have a lot of experience in sorting out problems like the one you are experiencing. I'm sure you are on the right track to getting things sorted now, but wish you the best of luck with your accommodation, and your final year exams...
Thankfully I have a meeting on Monday with the manager of halls to discuss what can be done (most likely is they are going to move me to another flat) and they offered me a temp room somewhere else until the meeting if I decided to come back early, hopefully things will be sorted this time next week!
Just an update, I moved out of halls & into private accomodation, studio flat, at £70 extra a month, plus my best friend is in the same building 2 floors down thankfully ^_^ I am now putting in a case again my flatates with the uni backing me up x
That's brill news, just hope you can be reimbursed for the difference. These girls are clearly jealous of you, and the only way they can think to deal with it is to be b**ches. It's a shame that they feel they still have to behave that way after high school. Hopefully now you can concentrate on your studies and get the degree you've worked hard for. x
Glad to see you're getting things sorted Noir. I cannot stand bullies - those two are nothing but silly little girls that are obviously jealous that you are confident and don't need to go out drinking to have a personality! Onwards and upwards!