Flogging for newbie

Sex Toys
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Hello, my partner and I have been together for over 6 years and have our anniversary coming up. My partner asked what I would like and I suggested purchasing a flogger.

We’ve never used a flogger before and thought I would ask for any tips or advice in this group.

My partner (she) and I (he) have used spankers in the past which have gone down really well. However we would both like to try a flogger and I (with male genitals) will be on the receiving end. Do any other similar folk have any suggestions and particular areas to focus on? Or any flogging technique suggestions?

I particularly like being spanked on my balls and ass and imagine the flogger will give a slightly different sensation. Any thoughts?

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I love your inclusive language :clap:t3:
What sensation are you expecting from a flogger?

In my experience (cis woman) its much lighter than you expect. There are floggers that have attachments at the ends to make them a bit more intense. Longer ones may have a more intense sensation as there would be more to ‘whip’, shorter ones are like being whipped with hair.

The first time I had it used on me, it was a let down and he tried to reallg whip it and it just didn’t give me the pain I was craving. Its nice for sensory play but it really depends what you are wanting from it.

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As @JoCat has said, floggers tend to be in the more gentle end of the spectrum, although it does depend on the material of the flogger.

Thinner falls tend to be stingier, with thicker being thuddier. Suede is a very soft sensation, leather is a little harder and rubber/silicone/plastic being pretty harsh. Rope depends on the type of rope used.

For genital impact, a smaller flogger is a good idea, unless she wants to swing up between your legs, then a longer one is better (although if you are just starting out, this might be one to try once you are more comfortable with it).

Because there can be a lot of variation in floggers, it can be worth buying a smaller one and seeing how that works for you and going from there

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Nipples too can sometimes be a nice feeling as well

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If you are looking for some flogging techniques, I’d highly recommend looking at the circus skill, poi. Many of the actions and movements are directly translatable.

Beyond that, you’d want to visit a workshop to learn skills.

I’m terms of where you’re aiming, avoid spine but shoulders feels lovely, ass, chest and thighs are great for both of you. And finally a sadistic area is the genitals, obviously much gentler.

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I as a female enjoy a long tailed whip on my genitals. I like the feeling of the individual strokes rather then a paddle

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I’m not massively into pain but enjoy the sensation of a light/medium intensity so what your describing sounds ideal. I’ve just purchased the love honey beginner flogger which upon reflection might be a little short in length but will see how it goes

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I really do like the idea of being on all fours and have it swung up between my legs with impact spread across the whole area - this is exactly what I have imagined/fantasised about. Will give the beginner one ago and see how we get on. Excited to try!

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Never tried that. But gotta try these things…

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I’ll have to check this out thanks. As replied above I want to be on all fours and have the whole area “on show” be flogged, just hoping my OH can get the action right.

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This individual strokes are what I’m excited about, each giving their own sensation

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I love being spanked but find a flogger a bit lame - however it is quite a nice feel

I say give it a try and mix it up with other things

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We have just started light impact and sensation play with her as she asked for and I was more than happy to help her, I made a flogger it’s about 3ft made of cotton with whipped ends and when I get it right she likes it, it’s not painful or stingy but heavy enough to thud a bit, I need more practice to make it work every time.

so if you have the time and patience to make one yourself you can make it suit your needs

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Just to let you know. We purchased the beginners Lovehoney flogger which worked a treat.

We have used it several times both enjoying being on the receiving end and both enjoying using (I think)

My only comment would be is that I wish it had more weight to it and the felling was more of a thud than a sharp sensation.

Does anyone have any suggestions for a weightier/heavier flogger? Less sharp sensation but more weight behind each strike?

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At local BDSM markets (for London we have LAM but there are others dotted around the UK and the world) there will be tonnes of stalls who will have exactly what you are looking for.

We have this beautiful fluffy flogger with what are essentially lead shots in the end to give it a very good hefty weight at the end.

Otherwise, I’m fairly sure LH do (or used to) sell floggers made from chain that have a good weight and strong to them.

Or you can make your own from leather/suede/ whatever materials, it’s about a £10 build and perfectly custom to you.

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If you’re looking to explore flogging in a more sensual, gentle manner, this experience might just be what you’re searching for. Unlike the intense or harsh connotations often associated with flogging, this approach is all about touch, connection, and creating a pleasurable, intimate atmosphere.

The flogger, typically made of soft leather or suede, is used to caress the skin rather than inflict pain. The sensation can be likened to a luxurious massage, with the tails of the flogger gliding across the body, teasing and tantalizing. What stands out in this experience is the focus on communication and mindfulness. There’s an emphasis on mutual respect and understanding, ensuring that every stroke, every touch, is consensual and enjoyable.

One of the most beautiful aspects of this kind of flogging is how it deepens the connection between partners. The person wielding the flogger becomes attuned to their partner’s reactions, adjusting their technique to keep the experience sensual rather than overwhelming. It’s a dance of sensation, where the rhythm of the flogger can be slow and soothing or quicker and more stimulating, depending on the feedback received.

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I’ve read about this market but never been? Is it any good? Judging online the thing looked quite small but your list suggests there is a lot of stuff to buy there

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I love this post! My partner has done something like this to me. Slowly tickling the flogger all over my ass and in between my legs. But I love it when she mixes it up from soft sensual to a quick and hard slap against my ass or balls…

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Regarding parties, here in Bristol we have SWAMP - South West Alternative Market & Party - although I haven’t been since the House Mistress passed away as apparently it’s not as good (I don’t know that I could go and not see her anyway. To me, she made the party!). There is also Dare2, although I think that’s more of a swinging event and less of a party. Again, never been as it didn’t sound like our scene - pardon the poetry!

For floggers… mmm hmm this thread made me purr, but purely because as a floggee, yeah, I can totally relate. I love floggers, but I love floggers insofar as for more sensual play (or for a deep massage, oh boy oh boy, I am totally taking a flogging and a Dominating over a massage after a stressful day, an-y day!). Flogging my ass is okay (I may have near dozed off to sleep once or twice :face_with_hand_over_mouth:) but for me, it has to be up on the shoulders. If I have one place I absolutely love flogged, it’s my shoulders with a nice, heavy suede flogger. Mmhmm!

Or maybe it’s my breasts with a bungee flogger? :thinking: The stinging sensation feels “bad”; it drives home the feeling of doing something inherently “forbidden”.

Or maybe it is the flogging of my ass, but just maybe, there’s a little secret here: When we used to do this at events, it was kind of a performative act. My husband could flog my ass red and rosy (and gladly!), but it didn’t really hurt that much, for us, it was more about being a part of the entertainment and the party - putting on a bit of a show, if you will. Still, to many others he had an obedient submissive, and I was a submissive who could take one hell of a flogging and practically fall asleep under it, creating an impression of love and trust in my Dominant (which is there anyway) - you can see now how we were envied!

The beginners flogger is a good one to use for genital impact, and it’s the same one we use. I have to want it though, and I don’t always; I have to feel “bad” in myself - like it is deserved.

For techniques, downward sweeping motions or “eternity” (think sideways figure eight) are best as they allow maximum control. If I’m flogging (service Top), I like to use downward sweeps or keep the flogger to the side of me and rotate it as though I’m using a skipping rope. You always want the tails to go downwards, never up as they could flail up and hit someone in the face. For genital impact, I would have my partner stand against the wall or door, or lie face up on the bed while I stand towards the foot of the bed. That way, I have the flogger under control and I know that I’m unlikely to acceidentally catch them with it.

Oh, and my husband loves mixing things up too - soft, soft, soft, WHACK, soft, WHACK, soft, soft, soft… sadists, gotta love 'em! :stuck_out_tongue:

Good luck, and I hope you’re still having plenty of fun together :slight_smile:

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I’ve been a number of times now, there’s usually 2-3 floors of stalls until the afternoon party aspect starts.

We’ve found some amazing toys and clothing there in the past - where it’s all stalls the inventory changes regularly.

The other aspect is that they also have workshops, so you can sit and learn more about (for example) flogging

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