am i the only person in the world that never seems to " fit in " ?. I get on with nearly everyone i come into contact with , but know that i will always be the one left out if there were invites to pub etc. The more friendly i try to be i find that people can be quite strange and seem to form there own little groups that i never seem to be able to break into. I know i may not be part of the " glam trendy " bunch but im not a tramp or a bad person. Just wondered if anyone else encounters the same thing ?
No your not the only one, I'm like this too 😕
it's strange because I am generally quite confident and can talk to anyone, but I just seem to be left out of things.
i find that when i do get friendly with someone it always seems to be on their terms and as long as i go along with that they are fine .As soon as i cant meet up with them whenever they want - even if ive put myself out for them 20 times beforehand they go all huffy
Yes exactly!
I always go out of my way to help my friends and would do anything for them, but as soon as I am not able to do something for them, I'm seen as the bad person! It gets so draining, to the point where I sometimes wonder if it's worth the effort!
the mechanic wrote:
am i the only person in the world that never seems to " fit in " ?. I get on with nearly everyone i come into contact with , but know that i will always be the one left out if there were invites to pub etc. The more friendly i try to be i find that people can be quite strange and seem to form there own little groups that i never seem to be able to break into. I know i may not be part of the " glam trendy " bunch but im not a tramp or a bad person. Just wondered if anyone else encounters the same thing ?
yeah i have the same thing here
butterflybee wrote:
Yes exactly!
I always go out of my way to help my friends and would do anything for them, but as soon as I am not able to do something for them, I'm seen as the bad person! It gets so draining, to the point where I sometimes wonder if it's worth the effort!
Ditto, this is what happens to me, with both friends and family. Its actually heart breaking and upsetting. I genuinely would do anything for them, but never get anything in return if I ask for help etc 
I have found a real difference between social groups and friends. I used to concern myself with this but found the solution for me was evaluating what I wanted from each contact. Social "peers" became just that - IF I had time to do something and wanted to I through it out to a large net of folks and went with the flow. My friends however emerged over a course of time and life to show themselves invested in me as much as I in them. After a while of that, the social net got smaller and life became more intimate.
Hope that makes sense... shorter version: nope, it's not just you
I sometimes think I have this problem.
That I don't have any real friends around me - just acquaintances that ate interested cause I'm there and would forget about me if I wasn't.
But I also realise this is completely in my head half the time, and I'm the one that makes excuses not to go out and see people or when I do go out or am free I forget to ask anyone if they are >.<
Yup,happens to me,too.It's really unpleasant and I have no idea why as I always try to help people when I can and am also able to talk to almost anyone..
I have loads of friends but only 2 of those I would go to the moon and back for. All the others are friends that if I'm out or at a party or arrange a party then I will generally see but we don't phone to have chats or arrange to go to the pub. I only do that with my 2 best friends.
Surely you have 1 best friend who involves you in everything?
As this continues to trend I noticed something else on this topic, in my own life:
MRS is my best friend and who I spend time with; my other true friends are scattered around the world but we talk/chat/email, etc. on a regular basis and as I travel home they "make it work" - as I do when I plan my trips, etc. But those around me in the hussle of life are just characters in my current chapters playing their roles. Nothing more, nothing less.
It might be because of your attachment style? We seek out people who are the same as us without realising it.
Melanthe wrote:
It might be because of your attachment style? We seek out people who are the same as us without realising it.
Very true.
I also have no friends apart from my partner, the last ones stabbed me in the back! Pretty sad for a 23 year old :/
Yup happens here too, sometimes I think its better to have acquaintances than friends as you never feel let down.
People can be so mean and because im not like that i dont understand why they are . I pretend to myself i dont care when really i do
100% same here the mechanic
don't know why people are so nasty when I would do anything for them, yet they do nothing for me.
I wonder if in a way people sense i want more from them than they do from me ? not that i want much but like you say lollipop i get nothing in return
Snap! For me a mixture of an abusive relationship and the onset of quite severe mental health problems led to me losing those people I thought were my close friends. Even now I am set back by social phobia that makes making new friends (or even acquaintances) impossible. At 23 I feel a bit of a loser! I have my partner though, and he has always been my best friend :)Lollipop ;) wrote:
I also have no friends apart from my partner, the last ones stabbed me in the back! Pretty sad for a 23 year old :/
Same here lovebird, my partner is my best friend we just click! :) and I was also in an abusive relationship about two years before met my partner. X