So here is a question that came to mind. Are the folks here on the forum substantially different in our sex practices than the general,population ? Do you imagine your friends and neighbors are having the range of sexual experiences that those here on the forum are having ?
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I think even on here the range is pretty varied from what I see getting posted.
What I would say is that the community seems to have a high population of neurodivergant people, and that is probably a factor in what brought us here and built our interests. ADHD for example has a strong link to sex drive and exploration.
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I think everyone is 10 times kinkier than me and Iām wildly kinky.
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An awful lot of what gets discussed on here is actually extremely common.
Itās just not talked about in person.
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No, but then I may be the exception to the rule.
I talk about sex and kink with my friends. I talk about sex and kink with my neighbour. Hell, I even talk sex and kink with my family (I helped my mother cope with the loss of touch when Dad passed, without judging her).
I donāt think weāre different; I think not a lot of people know the forum exists, and thatās the difference. Iām always advising people to sign up 
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Coming in from what was and has been an extremely vanilla sex life, a lot of what I read here just seems so out of the ordinary. If most people in the general population are having this kind of experiences, I definitely feel like I missed out on a lot. Trying to change sexual relationships and turning up the kink is a challenge for us, both over 70 years old. I hope itās not too late to explore all the fun stuff that is an option for us.
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The emphasis on the forum is all about consenting adults and doing what you are all comfortable with and that makes me happy. Unfortunately there are a lot of things going on out there that does not involve consent and that makes me sad.
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Ooh boy, I feel like I could write pages about this.
When I joined the BDSM community in 2006, it was very hush-hush, underground club that nobody really spoke about, and I spent years living that way. When Obama endorsed gay marriage, I remember this anger - envy - that lived in me because everyone was talking about being LGBTQIA+, but being kinky was still āweirdā, even if I knew differently. I remember twice being asked if I was āgay, bi or boringā, and the rage that filled me with because I knew that there was more to sexuality beyond what sex I was attracted to. Then Fifty Shades happened and it was this wave of emotion, because finally I felt seen and represented. I was so happy, I wore my collar under my scarf to the cinema and I took my scarf off in the cinema: I was proud of who I am and what I was.
Since then, more and more people are exploring kink, and itās become less shameful to be kinky. In the past year my husbandās manager has discovered heās my Dominant, she wants to befriend me because she identifies as submissive, and my husbandās best friend has found out about our lifestyle (and also doesnāt judge us).
Please donāt judge yourself for being ālate to the partyā. Explore what you want to, as you do, and in your own time. Weāre always here for you and will happily answer any questions you have, you know this
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It depends what community youāre comparing us/me too. Me personally, if I was to be compared to the general public, who look at porn and get their ideas from it, I would appear to be a squeaky clean boring oaf.
If you were comparing me to my immediate family and congregation, they would be horrified.
x Han
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Some of the most kinky people I know 
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Yes Iād think so depending on how openly exploring they are!
Ha ha I think a better question would be are they actually having sex in the first place? From observing the body language couples around me have, the way they look at and talk to and about each other, I think thereās very few who actually doing it at all.
I wouldnāt be surprised if Iām having more orgasms than all of them put together and Iāve been single forever!
Anyway, who cares about what other people think when Iāve got my hot lingerie and toy haul arriving in the next few days, Oy!!!
X han
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I donāt think weāre that differentā¦we just love to share with others, and this forum is how we do it 
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Look forward to the reviews
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In my book everything needs to be consensual and safe, no matter what.
I would never push my wife past her comfort zone ( well, maybe a teeny bit)
Of do degrading things to her. And I also think there is a lot of stuff going on in the general population that is not spoken and hidden, especially here in the states where even nudity is portrayed as shameful. The folks her are more open and aware than we ( my OH and I) it is a steep hill to climb to be anyway near some of the experiences that you all have had. I know we canāt go from vanilla to BDSM or other forms of kink overnight. Like I told my OH, we have a limited time frame for changing our sex play and I hope we can do it together and make whatever time we have left memorable and fun. I donāt want to think a year or two down the road that I ( we) should have tried X while we could.
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Iām 21 and extremely single, it feels like people my age should be at it like rabbits and yet when talking to my friends they say Iām probably having more kinky fun alone in my room than than there having with there partners. And statistics seem to back it up that Gen Z are having less sex overall.
So going of chats Iāve had with friends Iād say this āsex recessionā as they call it has also meant a recession in kinky experiences amongst those around the same age as me.
But I think people from all different generations have kinky fantasies that go against the norm but they never get to experience with another person. Whether it be from shame or fear or lack of opportunities.
I think itās not necessarily the forum has more kinky people, I think there is many kinky people within the general population who are just too scared to be honest. This forum on the contrary draws people who are fantastically shameless and with such honesty and confidence often comes more kinky experiences.
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No I donāt think so, possibly more vocal in this forum
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I wonāt
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Not read the whole thread yet but I think our friends really are prudes. We went out for a meal last Christmas and one of the guys said something about how heād just heard about this thing called dogging and how disgusting it was. Then somehow he was talking about sex toys and how weird they are and why on earth would anyone bother. Generally extremely judgemental and our other friends nodded, agreed and laughed about it.
My OH and I sat there in silence, looked at each each other ( Iād like to say I turned off the remote and slid it into my pocket but weād not ) and silently agreed to never mention our, what to them would be extreme aberrational, deviant, freaky ( in a bad way ) kinks and preferences.
We talked about it when we got home and were both surprised and also wondered if maybe we were the odd ones. Then again one of our other friends often asks where we think she went wrong because her daughter is gay(!). Iād suggest its generational but this is my generation. Whatās happened to them?
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Yeah. I attribute my return to the forum to my recent diagnosis. Iām kinder to myself now and life for both me and my OH has improved immeasurably, in no small part because of re-finding this forum and getting permission to say yes, this is me, and Iām ok.
And now Iāve got to find the Greatest Showman which will have me balling my eyes out and singing at the top of my voice.
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