Getting straight men to partake...

I cant get my boyfriendto agree to this as he thinks anything near his arse has gay connotations!
Any recommendations of a good starter toy for couples?

I have the opposite problem, I would love me other half to play around with the back door. However she worries about those same connotations. She is gradually warming up to it thought. TO be honest the best thing to start with is not a toy at all, but your finger. To keep it spontaneous do it when you are fairly wet and use mother natures own lube and just place your finger around the area. and move in slower paying attention to his reactions.

However for a toy, I would look for some kind of bullet vibe that is faily non-threatening and non-insertable that can be used to tease the rim of his backside.

C.Lube is right, stay well clear from toys to start with- in fact, I would stay away from fingers aswell, as non-lubed can be sore for the first time and if your lubeing up your fingers he'd have to be pretty stupid not to work out what was going to happen.

If your not to squemish about it I would suggest rimming, start with a blowjob and keep going down... If he enjoys that then you can move on to using a finger- after all, you've just sneakily lubed him up!

would second the rimming suggestion, my first introduction was a few years ago when a girlfriend at the time kept going further down lol - bless her cotton socks :)

definitely start gently. i was a little aprehensive of suggesting a little butt play to my OH. finally took the plunge and now she's expert with the mouth, fingers and plugs. we're considering a strap on next. Of course, I get to give her similar pleasure in return!

The metal buttplugs are very nice for temperature variations, but not ideal for a first timer!

I'd go with something like the "Cold Anal Trainer Kit" (, that will give you a range of sizes, if you want him to use it while penetrating you, you'll probably need to use one of the larger ones, else they will pop out (same as the Heavy metal!)

Just make sure he's well lubed, and comfortable, don't rush a thing!

As for gay connotations, give him a blow job (providing your into that!) and stimulate his ass at the same time, if you can, try to get your finger into his ass while he is coming, he'll soon come around! Again, ensure lube is handy, if you can, talk to him before you do anything!

There are excellent articles on getting comfortable with anal play here:

and also here:

oooh my bf well ex now loved me sucking his cock whilst using a dildo up his arse

I am a straight male and love my anus being penetrated. I would love to try strp-on play but my girlfriend is very reluctant about going down the avenue of male anal sex. Whats the best way to approach her do you think?

just buy her a strap on & some lub once you've bought it i'm sure she'll try my g/f loves to bang my ass with a built in pussy vibrator to bring her off as well

Buy her a strap-on as a gift get her to at least put it on - then as soon as her head does the maths and she feels the power a girly gets when wearing one she wont be able to stop ;)

I started with fingers with my man, well lubed with oil after several minutes of deliberately sensual massage. Once he was writhing about, I just let a finger slide down and play around the rim and then enter ... Fortunately, he decided it was only fair to let me go further, as he had been giving me intense anal pleasure with both fingers and penis for some time, so I bought the Smoothy Anal Prober that's being shown on the home page at the moment. Boy, did he like it, having been very sceptical at first. And now he's bought me some very fetching 'fetish' knickers that have a dildo on the inside for me and one on the outside for him ...

[quote]..very fetching 'fetish' knickers that have a dildo on the inside for me and one on the outside for him ...[/quote]

He's one lucky guy! Wish I had an understanding girl too :-(

My fella always said that his back passage only went one way then we stumbled on this:

He chose to buy it after reading the reviews and said he felt ok about trying it coz it's not penis shaped etc so reduces the gay thing.

We've only tried it once but he had a very intense orgasm and I'm sure as he gets more used to it it'll get even better.

My ex used to be the same then I pointed out that I let him do it to me so we needed to be fair! Got my strap on and lots of lube and had a good lime!

Hi, i am new to the site. i have the same pro as you kilerdisk. i have tried and hinted on many occasions, but my wife does'nt get the message.For a ll the fellas who are receiving give thanks

can anyone help me my husband and i have a wild sex life but anything to do with his back door he wont have i have fingered him a few times and he likes it its just getting him started with it.

my hubby was the same, after afew times with my fingers and plenty of lube i inserted a small dildo in him and he loved it now he cant get enough

Wendytickles, try giving your partner a nice sexy back massage and gently start working your way down his back with your tongue, finally reaching his anus... I he respondes positively gently try slipping a finger inside to see how he enjoys that...

My boyfriend had no experience with prostate message and it scared him. I know what it can do for men and I finally talked him into trying it by suggesting we use his own penis with the Clone A Willy kit.

For what ever reason, the idea of it being "him" made him more comfortable and peaked his interest. Giving him the same thing he gives to me was very exciting and he had an orgasm like he'd never had before. He now wishes he'd let me use anal toys on him sooner and asks for it regularly. He even has his own clone for self pleasure.

Men have a macho thing about their ass's. I always did! For some, the thought of being anally penetrated is a forbidden thought and certainly points to gay tendancies. The thought that they might like it is entirely beyond that LOL It's a phobia and mindset that can be overcome. Its just takes time and talk and a partner who knows when the time is right. My first time was unexpected, it was'nt something I asked for or desired. My lover slid her finger in my butt as she was performing oral sex on me. It was the perfect time really. I was in the middle of sexual bliss already, and was'nt able to stop that bliss in order to consider my fears. She hit the spot and my body rocked! After that, my fears were gone because it felt to damn good to be afraid of it.