I highly recommend reading “She Comes First” by Ian Kerner. Primarily devoted to women’s anatomy, arousal process, and cunnilingus technique.
Otherwise, in no particular order, here are some quick tips:
- Listen to your partner’s feedback, verbal and otherwise, to what they like (this one actually is in order, and the most important part). My wife is not crazy about direct g-spot stimulation and no amount of reading that tells me to try it this way or that way will change her preferences. So listen to feedback. Everything that follows is subject to tip 1.
- Cleverly seen elsewhere on the internet: start like a butterfly landing on a flower, finish like a bulldog eating an ice cream cone.
- I like to start by slowly licking all the way around my wife’s vulva, slowly. Around the labia, both sides, gently alighting up and down and all around long before I get anywhere near her clit. When I’m ready to move on, I start licking from the very bottom of her vagina up to her clit - slowly at first. If I’m really trying to ease into it I’ll actually count down in my head and try to drag that first lick up to a count of 10, 15, or 20. Then each stroke of my tongue I make the trip one count faster until it’s down to continuous licking.
- Alternate between tickling her clit with the tip of your tongue vs. the flat of your tongue for different sensation. Also alternate between targeted clit stimulation then back to full vulva licks.
- Don’t neglect the labia. Slick them, suck them in, hold them in your mouth while you lick the clit.
- Play with edging. If you know your partner well enough to tell that they’re about to come, back completely off and kiss her hips, thighs, come up for air and kiss her neck. My wife likes to receive a face-f*ck in this instance. Maybe blow across her vulva like a hot cuppa. Maybe she’ll beg for you to go back down, maybe you’ll decide when it’s time. See how many times you can do it before she’s holding your head in place and begging you not to stop.
- Don’t forget about toys, if appropriate. My wife prefers to cum with something to squeeze, whether that’s a couple of fingers, a dildo, or a vibrator.