Hello, and welcome to the forum! I’m sure you’ll get lots of great replies but wanted to point out that if you use the search function you’ll also find years worth of responses and feedback on the topic! Because I know I’ve written quite a few bits about my approach of going down on my wife - my very favoritest thing - I just searched through my activity to find these past posts.
I’m biased, but I like my reply here and think it holds up alright:
This is also a good thread with lots of tips and specific techniques to try, and because I remain biased I’ll just drop the direct link to my reply.
As to the other half of your question, I would be sorely disappointed to go the rest of my life without ever going down on my wife again, but I think intercourse wins. Even when I’m going down on her she wants me inside as soon as she cums so that she can squeeze around me. If she had a to choose, I think she’d pick intercourse as well. If I were an easier cum from oral it might sway, but as I’m not I must be true to our mutual satisfaction.