When I met my partner, he told me he had the herpes virus. After knowing him for a month , we had sex, we made sure we practiced safe sex and were extremely careful.
About a few months later he told me the virus was 'active' and we would have to refrain from sex until it had cleared. This lead onto a conversation about how he had contracted the virus.
He told me that he was married at the time and hadn't had sex for months - then when he was working away he was tempted to visit a brothel.He confessed all to his wife - she made him go for tests. At the time, the tests were clear.
A year later his wife developed cervicle cancer and told him that the doctor had said she developed it because her husband must have had an STD.
My partner was mortified that he could have 'caused his wife's cancer' and spent 10 years trying to make up for what he had done before he decided that spending day after day being made to feel guilty was not the was to live.
I asked my partner to visit his GP and get things checked out. When he went to the GP - he told my partner that it did not look like herpes and sent him to the GUM clinic for further tests.
At the GUM clinic he explained his history and they implied that all men lie about their recent sexual histories because they don't want their wife/girlfriend to find out.
My partner assured them that he had not cheated on me and had a one off sexual encounter at a brothel many years ago. They treated him with such contempt and give him a letter for me 'if he had the guts to give it to me' My partner told them that it was me who asked him to get things checked but they didn't believe him.
After being spoken to like a piece of dirt, being called a liar and feeling totally humiliated his tests all come back clear.
The herpes? nothing more than non-specific urethitis caused by a sensitivity to latex so we threw the condoms away and never used them again!
I am sure this was not a common experience of a GUM clinic has anyone else had experience of GUM clinic good or bad? e
That's totally shocking! You should make a formal complaint about it to the health trust!
If people get treated like that they aren't exactly going to bother getting checked in future, and more people are going to suffer from untreated diseases. I'd be bloody angry if it was me.
I meant to add - I did go to a clinic when I was a student to get checked out just as a precaution. They did the tests and I was given a goddam lecture at the same time by a male doctor about not being irresponsible. It pissed me off greatly - I thought getting tested WAS responsible, so I wouldn't pass anything on if I had it. Luckily I didn't! I refused to go back to get the results and be lectured at again - I insisted they sent them instead.
So to answer your question, BAD. But not as bad as your experience.
OMG that's awful and completely counter productive. I agree I think a complaint to the trust is in order.
I don't have any GUM experiences but have had to get the morning after pill twice due to a condo slipping off twice (it really f-ing did, and the second time happened with condoms we got from the Brook after the first time!)
The Brook were amazing and very helpful. But for convenience I went to the NHS the second time and got the whole lecture. I was completely freaked after it slipping off again (yes he was hard enough, it wasn't too big, different positions and everything). Totally wrecked my faith in condoms for years. The morning after pill is horrid and really fecks your emotions, so you really don't need a lecture as well.
Has anyone else experienced a condom coming off? Like how common is it? I still don't understand how it happened (and twice!!) Did you bother to get the morning after pill?
Just to add my twopence worth, what an awful story!!
Glad to say though that the GUM nurses at my local surgery are fab. Doctors are useless but the nurses are non-judgemental and brilliant with diagnoses so I always insist on seeing them. They've even given me advice on positions with my rather well-endowed OH!!!
Guess it goes to show you shouldn't be afraid to ask for a second opinion and don't let anyone judge you for being sesible enough to be checked out rather than burying your head in the sand and costing the NHS shedloads more money further down the line!!
I've had two visits to the GUM clinic in the last year. I'll admit I was at my wits end before I plucked up the courage to go for the first time.
My initial visit was for what I thought was thrush, which actually turned out to be trich. The second time I was getting the same symptoms. Worried that it might be the same thing (and aware that it's sexually transmitted), I told my new parter about it suggested we go together to get checked out.
Thankfully, this time it was just a bacterial infection. We both got the full batch of tests and all results came back clear.
My experience was fine. They can be a little blunt when asking about sexual history, partners etc...but I reckon that's a small price to pay for peace of mind.
In this day and age, such a stigma shouldn't be attached to these clinics. Anyone planning getting into a relationship with someone should go with their partner to get tested, as accidents DO happen....and as the Dr at my clinic said, you're not just sleeping with your partner, you're potentially having sex with all the people he/she has ever slept with!
I must admit I am and will always will be 110% faithful 100% because I love him and 10% because I am terrified of ever contracting anything and having to go to one of those clinics!!
When I talked to my colleagyes about it, one of them told her auntie who was a nurse at the GUM clinic and she was horrified to find out what had happened - we are just grateful that the whole episode is over and done with.
Yeh that sounds pretty horrific! I went once recently, as I have been diagnosed with an auto imune condition and therefore am more sucseptable to these things. I didn't think there was much chance I had anything, but its better to be safe than sorry! The dr was really nice and it didn't take too long... then gave me 'a weeks supply of condoms' - there were 40 in the bag!! I was just like jeese, doesn't she realise I have a job?
If you clean your teeth three times a day, and floss regularly you won't need to go to a GUM clinic. Or am I missing something here?? Ho ho, and indeed He he!!
Haven't been to one (yes, I know I should just to be safe, don't shout at me) but I have had the morning after pill due to rubbish condoms! I've been on the pill for years now, mainly because I don't trust condoms. Of course I use them with a new partner etc, but I don't trust them 100%, because obviously they can rip, slip off, etc... it's bad enough having to worry about catching something, let alone getting pregnant!!
I think it's terrible that you had such an awful experience - I'm going to say much the same as littlebird has already said, the nurses at my surgery rock. They never lecture me or judge, they just do what they do! And although they do sometimes give helpful advice....it's only when I ask for some!
I am totally shocked at the way some of us have been treated, I had to go to my local clinic when I was in hospital the other month and I have to say everyone there was brilliant, I couldn't have asked for better service!
i only got checked once when i was a virgin because my mate was so scared of going he needed someone with him lol. they were all kind and even when i go now i can chat to them and joke about. its deffo worth reporting hun as being treated like that can cause a lot of people to go untreated after a bad encounter! gr the silly health people of today, what ever shall we do my army friends
The time I went to the gum clinic the people were all lovely, until I rang up to get my results. The woman on the phone was rude and short with me but results were all fine so don't know why she was nasty!
Has anyone else experienced a condom coming off? Like how common is it? I still don't understand how it happened (and twice!!) Did you bother to get the morning after pill?
Haha, yes - I still remember the absolute feeling of terror as I looked down and saw nothing but a mere tatter of a condom decorating only the base of my cock... :D
It hasn't happened since, but that one time was mortifying. Thank God for whoever pioneered the synthesis of artificial progesterone for the pill and morning after pill! They've done us all a huge favour!
I make a point of going to my local GUM every time I have unprotected sex with a new partner and also when I get into a new relationship, I'll get them to go too. The professionals at my clinic are just that, professional. The first time I went I was kakking my panties in fear but they were very reassuring, very non judgemental when asking personal questions about my sexual habits, and when it turned out I'd caught something I wasn't made to feel like a bad person, I was given treatment and asked very nicely if I'd mind helping to track down my last partner. The only complaint I have is that sometimes they can be a little rough on the examination (but I am very sensitive). Even when I confessed to a consultant that I wasn't at the time using any kind of contraceptive (pill, condoms, etc) she just told me very gently that I ought to think about what I was doing. All in all, I think it probably varies from clinic to clinic.
I have visited a WISH sexual health clinic after condoms split or slipped off in the past, twice and purchased the morning after pill from a pharmacy once. The first time the WISH clinic were great and I don't remember feeling judged or anything.
This time however (last week incidentally), the GP seemed very judgemental and kept throwing in questions which didnt need to be asked 'So did you not bother using a condom then?'. 'Have you been with this gentleman long?' etc. Felt very uncomfortable but simply stared her out and sat in confidence. I'm not a slut nor have I ever slept around, I waited until I had an established relationship before sex and we are still together, why should I be made to feel inferior? I can almost guarantee the teeny bopper underager behind me in the queue probably got mollycoddled.