When I met my partner, he told me he had the herpes virus. After knowing him for a month , we had sex, we made sure we practiced safe sex and were extremely careful.
About a few months later he told me the virus was 'active' and we would have to refrain from sex until it had cleared. This lead onto a conversation about how he had contracted the virus.
He told me that he was married at the time and hadn't had sex for months - then when he was working away he was tempted to visit a brothel.He confessed all to his wife - she made him go for tests. At the time, the tests were clear.
A year later his wife developed cervicle cancer and told him that the doctor had said she developed it because her husband must have had an STD.
My partner was mortified that he could have 'caused his wife's cancer' and spent 10 years trying to make up for what he had done before he decided that spending day after day being made to feel guilty was not the was to live.
I asked my partner to visit his GP and get things checked out. When he went to the GP - he told my partner that it did not look like herpes and sent him to the GUM clinic for further tests.
At the GUM clinic he explained his history and they implied that all men lie about their recent sexual histories because they don't want their wife/girlfriend to find out.
My partner assured them that he had not cheated on me and had a one off sexual encounter at a brothel many years ago.
They treated him with such contempt and give him a letter for me 'if he had the guts to give it to me' My partner told them that it was me who asked him to get things checked but they didn't believe him.
After being spoken to like a piece of dirt, being called a liar and feeling totally humiliated his tests all come back clear.
The herpes? nothing more than non-specific urethitis caused by a sensitivity to latex so we threw the condoms away and never used them again!
I am sure this was not a common experience of a GUM clinic has anyone else had experience of GUM clinic good or bad? e