Both sexy messaging and a happy ending massage (without prior discussion and consent), I would consider cheating in a relationship. However, I get where your partner is coming from. I have always said cheating is a hard line and if a boyfrirnd ever cheated on me then the relationship is over but… though I’d be pissed, I think I could forgive the happy ending in a massage palour, I wouldn’t forgive an emotional relationship with someone else. With a discussion before hand, I probably would say yes to the massage happy ending. It would be doing it without my knowledge that would be the problem.
Strangely, this did very nearly happen with us. In a previous profession, a job came in to the company my OH worked for requesting they send a number of male surveillance operatives into a massage parlour to get audio and video recordings of what happened. It was very strictly licensed for legit, non sexual massage but reports had been recieved of “Happy Endings” being offered. We discussed it, I was okay with it as part of the job but he didnt volunteer himself for it. Three of his colleagues went in, two were offered and accepted the happy endings, one wasn’t offered. I don’t know what he did wrong .
Would be a no for us. For anyone who discusses and agrees it with their partner, that’s absolutely fair and you do you. For us, even if we did choose to discuss it then the answer would still be that we aren’t comfortable with the other getting this.
I’m firmly in the belief that unless it’s something your partner has agreed is ok and even endorses it’s cheating. Personally if my wife told me she wanted a massage with a happy ending I would be more than comfortable with her getting one, and it would be hypocritical of me to feel otherwise as I’d happily have one myself.
I know for her though it would be a hard boundary, so it’s not actually something I’ll ever do as I know she wouldn’t be happy with it.
If hubby did ask if he could have a happy ending massage i would say no way. Any sort of intimate sexual experience outside of our relationship i would consider as cheating and i would never agree to that.
I have never had a happy ending from a massage, and think it may cross a line within our relationship. My wife and I regularly get massages from a local shop, each with our separate masseuse. Having a professional and on going relationship with our people means a certain degree of trust and limits. I would never ask my massage therapist for a happy ending, as it would change the dynamic between us. And the thoughts of my wife’s therapist touching her privates also crosses a line that should not be traversed.
But, a funny thing that comes to mind. If we were away on a vacation, and each were getting massages, and a happy ending was given, it might be viewed differently, because this would be with someone who we would have no relationship with and never see again. Strange !
From what I understand, real massage therapists don’t do “happy endings.” If a place does offer sexual services, it’s usually an illegal brothel disguised as a massage parlour.
So my feelings don’t really matter here. If my partner wants to to go waving their bits around in a shady “massage parlour”, instead of asking for intimacy? Then they’re probably the wrong partner for me.
Like I say, from what I know (admittedly not much, but probably enough) it’s strictly no-no on licensing in UK/US/EU. So it’s either in Asia/Africa/Middle East, where I’m not sure what the laws are, or it’s an unlicensed premises.
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