He's just not that into me 😔

I’m looking for advice… My husband just doesn’t seem to be into me anymore. He seems to be stuck in a rut and won’t talk to me, won’t touch me, he won’t accept help from anyone either. I’m trying everything to get him to notice me but it’s like he just sees me as a maid (and not in the naughty way)
He has had alot going on in his life at the mo, family stuff, but it’s like he’s forgot about me and what I want and need. I dressed up last night and took a few pictures and sent them to him, just teasers. He said that’s nice, I asked if I could borrow his cock he said not now I’ve just ate :roll_eyes::unamused: which seems to be his response most of the time.
Can anyone give me any suggestions on what to try or do please?
Thanks LH family :heart:

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First off I’m sorry that you are going through this. It seems you have tried your best to get him on side. The best thing would be to communicate. Talk to him and find out what can be done to help.
Perhaps get him to browse through the website and see if there is anything he wants for him.

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Hmm this is a tough one as the more you bring it up the more he could claim you are pressuring him. The more he neglects you the more you’ll feel pushed away and the cycle continues …

I think this is a sit down chat needed without distractions. Maybe if he’s willing setup a date night?

Don’t take it personally, I know it sucks when you aren’t noticed … so get him to notice you by having a talk.

If that doesn’t work … I’d dress incredibly sexy BUT FOR YOU NOT HIM. Make him see what’s he’s missing ?

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Thanks @KentCouple1990 and @ThirtySomethingWife It’s really hard to get him to sit down and talk to me, he always walks off. But you’ve both gave me a great idea, I’ll set up a date night for us, I’ll put on something so sexy, he will not be able to keep his eyes off me and hopefully he won’t feel the need to walk away… If that doesn’t work then I don’t know what will :thinking:
But I’m always welcoming suggestions… :+1:t3:
Thanks again xx

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@MrsG17 The family stuff maybe the key to it and this maybe the biggest influence to his behaviour , patience maybe what is needed it happens to most couple been there had the t shirt, talking about both your needs and work through it is the only thing I would advise you I am sure you not lost your sex appeal just got to find a way back good luck hun :kissing_heart:

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@MrsG17 sorry you aren’t having a good time. This may not be popular but if I’m not in the mood due to having things on my mind (or hormonal stuff) he is best to not push the sex card.
I’d likely feel he isn’t bothered about how I feel and just wants a shag.
I’d try and help him with whatever is wrong and hope that feeling supported makes him feel more like intimacy.

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Also agreed

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I totlly agree with @Gazza_64. Patience may be the key to this.

I would say also that you can meet some of you own needs until he is ready. Plenty of toys you can try, even the possibility he might help you pick one or even join in.

Good luck & things will get better

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Big cwtches, firstly. You said he walks off, personally I like chatting about sensitive stuff in the car, where you aren’t face to face and it’s harder to just dismiss. A walk also works. And yes, as much as its upsetting you try not to force it as it may push him away more if he is struggling with something

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My friend lost his OH because she thought he wasn’t attracted to her anymore because he was too ashamed to tell her he was having erectile disfunction. He eventually got help but waited too long & regrets not telling her. Maybe a good talk about how you feel & knowing you are there for him if a problem does exist. Hopefully yaw can work it out.

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Sounds like you need to get him to talk about the other stuff that’s going on with him and I would imagine the sex will come back when he’s better in himself.

Tough because you have needs I get it, but if you’re feeling shitty in life with things on your mind then sex is that last thing on your mind. I’ve been there.

Talk to him and work on the other stuff without agenda.

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Thank you all for your help. The ideal scenario would be that we just talk get it all in the open and we can carry on. I’m going to try and talk to him tomorrow night, with work and other commitments it’s impossible to talk without getting distracted. :crossed_fingers:t2:I get somewhere. I’m feeling extremely niglected to be honest, I get he’s got family issues going on, but I’m his wife and he’s acting like I’m the issue. I’m finding it extremely unfair and I do have needs and wants and I’m getting non of them even remotely touched :roll_eyes:
I have been fulfilling my own needs, because he won’t @Mr_Moneypenny the only thing is, it makes me feel even more horny, I need him to fulfil me (no pun intended :see_no_evil::face_with_hand_over_mouth:)

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This all sounds very familiar to my wife and I. We went through exactly this scenario when I was suffering from stress related depression.

It still happens on a less frequent basis now (actually it’s on the edge of happening at the moment) but I can now recognise the early symptoms and deal with them.

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Hang in there! - as you can see from responses you are not alone in having experienced this. I experienced the same feelings of neglect from my wife post pregnancy/kids. Throw in Covid and life gets in the way massively.

Thankfully we are both communicative and although it took a lot of pushing from my side To have a proper conversation about it - we have eventually come out of the hump and have climbed out the other side.

I think, hard tho it is you probably need to give your partner some time…I made the mistake of trying to force the issue and it didn’t go down well.

Keep doing what your doing, satisfy yourself and also try and be supportive and loving to your partner and hopefully he’ll get to a place where things start to improve for you. I found it super hard to not just see if from a ‘I’m being neglected’ standpoint and being angry at my OH but once you realise that they’re struggling too it got a lot easier to figure it out in my head.

We’re all here to support you!

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Thank you for answering… How do you ‘deal’ with them @rockstar ?
Thanks x

Aww thank you so much :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: feeling the love. Thank you all for helping :heart:

I think as many have said it is important to talk at a non-confrontal time, may be try an evening out, hopefully this will allow time for both of you to relax. For me seeing the wife in sexy lingerie increases the desire. I was not sure how long you have been together, have you grown apart over time? or has it changed quickly? I wish you look in getting things resolved to your satisfaction

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Firstly, you’re not alone.

My husband is exactly the same. Honestly a year ago I could have wrote your post myself. I have what I think is an overly high sex drive, I mean I can’t stop thinking about sex and everything that comes with it - no pun I swear. My husband not so much so.

I used to think he was going off me but I’ve just come accept that not everyone is the same. It doesn’t stop me doing all kinds of outrageous things like waking around the house in short skirts with no panties while wearing jewel butt plugs, sending him videos of me playing alone, but even that can have no effect quite often and trust me I know how that feels emotionally. But that’s when I’ll just turn around, go up stairs and grab my doxy and dicks :rofl:

What I’m saying is, it’s far more normal than you’d think for your man to just not be into it as much as you are - it doesn’t mean he’s not into you. I found as soon as I could accept that, things just felt better for me.

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We’ve been married 4 years and together for 6 years. To be honest it’s been going on for a while since I was pregnant 2 years ago he went on a bender and I just haven’t really got him back. He did calm down but with these issues coming up he’s slipping away from me again. And it has been a good few months since his family issues were, I just feel he’s dragging it on abit, it’s like, he likes to feel sorry for himself. I just wish I could find my whip and whip it out of him :smirk:

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@Blonde_Bunny I just expect sex at least once a week… Feeling like a nun here :see_no_evil::joy:

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