we are both nearly 50 and I've always been the kinky one, masturbating every day trying to think of new ways to have sex and keep it exiting. Then last year my sex drive just dropped away. Been to the docs but there's nothing wrong testostrone is a bit low , but that's it. The wife doesn't seem bothered but when I'm horny I'm horny and have started looking at members photos. What can I do to get our sex life back I want her to want sex. I don't think I'm a bad looking guy and it's making me want to have affairs . Help!!!
Don't look to others to spice things up, look to eachother. Communication is SO important, talk things out with her and see where the conversation goes, what she says may be a surprise to you.
From a womans point of view, if you want to have more sex, make her want to be WITH you more, and not just sexually. What are you doing to make this happen?
Not to sound really rude but when you said it's making you want to have affairs, I cringed. If you really cared about your relationship that much, I don't really understand why you'd say it's making you want to have affairs. I would have thought that you'd talk to your wife and pamper her a bit instead of looking at members photos on here and asking how you can get her to want sex on a forum. Shouldn't you know what would get her in the right mood? Maybe she's stressed about things or just nervous or shy about certain sexual activities. She also might just not be interested in the same things that you are, which is something you'll just have to get over if she really doesn't feel that way inclined..
I'm with her all the time. Help round the house and in general I'm I think I'm a good husband. When we have sex she always comes as I always try and make sure that happens but maybe it's just age.
Absolutely agree with sugarboobies. This is something you have to communicate through and not just 'I want sex... WHY DON'T YOU?' I think if her head's not in the game she won't even try to play. Talk to her. Do things that are intimate but not about sex. Nice baths or massages with no sexual touching. Make her feel sexy and it will probably respark. Also, menopause (not that she's in it but she might be soon) is actually quite traumatic on a woman's body and can be mentally and physically draining. Don't look at others before you've exhausted all options. Have you introduced her to Lovehoney yet? Maybe do this gently and explain that you miss the intimacy of sex and seeing her pleasure and you might be on your way. Good luck!x
Don't look to others to spice things up, look to eachother. Communication is SO important, talk things out with her and see where the conversation goes, what she says may be a surprise to you.
From a womans point of view, if you want to have more sex, make her want to be WITH you more, and not just sexually. What are you doing to make this happen?
I'm with her all the time. Help round the house and in general I'm I think I'm a good husband. When we have sex she always comes as I always try and make sure that happens but maybe it's just age.
This is all well and good, but all that aside, what are you actually doing to romance her and make her feel it is HER that you are interested in and not just sex?
Thanks for the advice. I don't ever think I would have an affair as I love my wife to much. I just think sometimes I get frustrated. Thanks again and know I didn't think you were rude any advice is good advice.
We ALL get frustrated from one thing or another in relationships.
Sit down with her tonight, and have a chat with her. Ask her about things and how she feels, and try not to put the "I WANT SEX WHY DONT YOU" across so much, as this will honestly have the exact opposite reaction as what you want it to be. Things won't be cured over night, but start from scratch.
Have date nights, seduce her again and remind her of why she married YOU in the first place, and not others. Write sex off for a short while, and just concentrate on being a married man so in love with his wife and then one thing will lead to another. Spend time with her, show an interest in her, seduce her, romance her, wine and dine her.
She is at the back end of the menopause, maybe I just need to be more patient and listen to the forum. We have just started using love honey. I am trying to get her to buy the we vibe as I think it might spice things up but she's not that keen at the moment.
She is at the back end of the menopause, maybe I just need to be more patient and listen to the forum. We have just started using love honey. I am trying to get her to buy the we vibe as I think it might spice things up but she's not that keen at the moment.
No no no no no! Don't get her to buy toys, in my head, this is saying "I want sex, so if you buy this toy for yourself, you are also going to give me sex which is what I want. I am only convicing you to buy this so I can get what I REALLY want."
Starting from scratch with suggestions from my previous post to your question I think will help SO much more than just buying a toy to spice things up!
She is at the back end of the menopause, maybe I just need to be more patient and listen to the forum. We have just started using love honey. I am trying to get her to buy the we vibe as I think it might spice things up but she's not that keen at the moment.
Don't push and let her look on her own. Sometimes people are actually a little offended or threatened by the idea of toys. Take it slow and steady.
Would love to read erotic stories but don't know we're to get it on the net. She loves reading fifty shades and that sort. I'm sure if I showed her something stronger from the net we could read it together.
Portia da Costa seems to be a popular author with women on here, but maybe the Black Lace quickies would be good to start with since you'd get lots of variety? You may also want to check out the massage guides as it could be a good start on reconnecting. Good luck!
Communication is vital in any relationship be it about sex or life. Making her feel special and loved and putting her first would help, ask her what YOU can do for her, because you love her. Putting each other's need first is a serious winner in any relationship, but sometimes one person has to do it first. Then with love and communication it will go both ways. Good luck!!