How did you become "kinky"?

A loaded question I know but how did you go from vanilla to kinky? I will leave genders and sexualities out of the question but more than welcome any replies. Looking at my past, I did have gaps in my long term relationships and I think that’s were my interest in kink grew the most. Some of it was what I read online while others I just wanted to experience something different in person. I have no doubt some relationships were able to develop this over time as a committed relationship. Do share…

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For us it was a very gradual process. As I’ve said before my wife contributes very little by way of ideas or suggestions so our gradually increasing kink activities have come entirely from me looking to push boundaries or wanting to try things I have read or heard about.

That being said my wife is always willing to try out anything I suggest and, if she’s happy with it once she’s tried it we incorporate it into our increasingly kinky sex life.

I know what her hard limits are so |I would never try to push her on those.

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For me it was when I joined the forum. It really opened my eyes to all kinds of solo play ideas.

For us, long term marriage, it just kind of evolved over the years. We both have been very open sexually and have had a healthy relationship with good communication that we were open to new things. I wouldn’t say we are extreme in our kinks but definitely not vanilla as well. Currently we are exploring more dominance by my wife, more so during pegging.

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Unfortunately, because of the forum rules, I can’t answer this question. All I will say was that my kinky predisposition was probably inherited :slight_smile:

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It was 2019 - we we were hardly having sex and when we did it was boring
My husband one day said he wanted to wear my knickers after I took them off and asked that I spank him while wearing them

From there he just opened up his mind to every single sexual thing he wanted to do and so did I - I did not want fluffy white or pink girly underwear- I wanted to dominate him and get him to give me more oral - so we did

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I just remember always enjoying things a little differently than my friends and previous partners. Then I met someone that welcomed my darkness and wanted to try it all with me. It was the best sex of my life, and now I would never be fully satisfied with a partner who didn’t enjoy a bit of filth.

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Well, that’s a very good question i was extremely shy up to my mid 20’s so im not sure given its pre internet, hardly went out was always respectful of others

Coming out of the other side of the menopause with my hormone levels sorted, including testosterone plus reading some good books made me realise I’d missed out on a lot. Been with my OH for 38 years, probably more comfortable with ourselves / each other now than ever before. I found LH and bought a few bits that interested me and now less than 12 months later we’ve tried and enjoyed so many new things and loving it!

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38 years! Congratulation on that. Most these days consider 8 years as a long term relationship I think.

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I didn’t have sex until I was 26. Had no idea I would actually like it. But once I started, I figured out that my body is wired differently. I have unique needs, and unique anatomy. Unlike some, I’m OK with that, and I don’t mind doing different things to see what works.

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grew up in a strict environment, won’t say more. With my partner, we have dom-sub relationship

Curiosity. Doing a little at a time when the opportunity arose, and then going for it when my husband and I realised we were as kinky as each other.

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For me it was wandering into a sex shop for the first time nearly a long time ago and just being overly curious. I took many many years out as my husband wasnt into it when i got with him. I was happy to put that side away for him. Thankfully 16 ish years later and i bought it up again and he was willing to give it another go. Now he absolutely loves it!!!

For us it discovering lovehoney and sex toys, then I realised what I liked. Amsterdam was also a large part of it

For me it was being with the right man. My ex husband only like vanilla but with my OH, we have tried lots of things and its developed into the most exciting, satisfying and mutually appreciated sex life :fire:

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we started investigating adult card and board games. ive always been a bit more adventurous than my wife but we found games a easy way for both of us to explore

Always been this way…never been vanilla.

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I think it was a lot of things: sex was not looked down upon in our house just NEVER talked about so all that curiosity built up over the years, the second part I don’t believe I can put on here, feeling bad about myself for a long time for what I found pleasure in and wanted to try, finally letting myself be free to try things and inspiration from all of you.

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To quote Lady GaGa, i was born this way! Always had a sexually explorative imagination and willing to try most things, even as a child i was fascinated by the female form and sexually curious.

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