Me and the wife were chatting last night over a glass of wine and we discussed how our sex life has become a little more kink and varied over the years… and we discussed what had changed and why…
For instance we’ve been together 20 years but in the last 2 years with a little experimenting she now likes me to finish on her face but 18 years of just inside her or maybe in her mouth with a BJ.
For me, I like my prostate played with, again 17 years of NO NO NO…
We discussed perhaps just feeling more comfortable with each other, the changes in porn as some of the reasons for the change.
Question to all the lovely users - if yours has changed. How? and why do you think it is?
I was married for 32 years by the time we divorced in 2018. 18 years of them in separate bedrooms and no intimacy…yes, you read right 18 years and even then very vanilla.
So when i met a guy on a dating app just before lockdown and we eventually became intimate in June 2020 it was a mind blowing experience! We were only together a couple of months but it made me realise how much i love sex.
I’ve been with my new guy for nearly 9 months and our sex is a-maz-ing!! We are both in our mid 50’s and so have no pregnancy worries or anything to prove. We are learning every day, and we have sex at least once every day, what we like and don’t like.
We are both happy to try things we’ve never experienced before e.g anal and have found we like most things.
Sorry to waffle but i am having the best time, sexually, in my whole life and we don’t intend to stop anytime soon
I had no sex life until I was in my early forties (it wasn’t through lack of trying, I had a miserable time).
I’ve been within my current girlfriend since my early forties, I finally had a sex life, but it only lasted for about four months, we haven’t had sex or any intimacy at all since. I’m now approaching my mid fifties.
We turned the lights on!
Finding our way back to a sex life after having two kids has meant more communication and more trimmings
Baths, candles, oils, massages, music … all play a big part in our ‘scene setting’ and so does lingerie and toys.
Sex itself is slower. We went from ‘pumping’ to ‘grinding’ to more slow rubbing and fondling. I’ll get inside my wife - PIV - but from there on it’s a very slow gentle thing, with lots of playing around the clit, labia, thighs, boobs …
That works really well for us!
I think it’s entirely natural for sex lives to change, we all change as we learn and grow and age. Nice to hear you and your wife are enjoying this new exploration!
@Knight1119 I think communication is key. Have you discussed it with your girlfriend?
Age is no barrier to amazing sex but only if you talk to each other. Start the conversation xx
@maz1965, our situation is due to grief of losing her daughter, I took her to multiple counselling sessions years ago, she said they didn’t help, even recently she said the pain is as raw now as it was when it happened over ten years ago. Our relationship permanently changed on that day and will never change, I just had to adapt and live with it. Thanks for your advice anyway xx
Thanks @Latex73, it’s been a very painful time for us, unfortunately her grief has created other health problems for her, she’s on daily antidepressants and other meds. I just try to do what I can to help her.
Mine has dramatically changed and improved over the years.
My previous relationships were abusive, physically and emotionally. The sex was never consensual, they wanted it, I didn’t, so they just took it. The worst years of my life they were. Then hubby came back into my life (we went to school together, and lost contact for about a year) he literally is my knight in shining armour
It took me a long time to trust him, and trust what he was saying. He taught me what sex was about, together and solo. When we first had sex, it was amazing. It felt completely different. But I wouldn’t let him look at me naked, or barely touch me, and lights off when we had sex.
Skip to now.
I’m definitely letting him see and touch me naked. He’s got me to be so comfortable in myself, so much that we’ve got tons of lingerie, bondage and toys. The sex is out off this world. The passion and intimacy I’ve never had or felt before. And giving me my first orgasms, through clit stimulation and through penetration alone, I’ve even managed to orgasm while giving him a blowjob. I literally couldn’t be any happier than I am now.
Im just over 60 and wife is later 50’s .
Our sex life has become more earthy and honest as we have aged.
We are trying things that in our earlier married life , wouldnt have been considered.
Our attitude is why not.
We arent mega kinky , but very open minded.
We are happy in our own skin and have no inhibitions. Enjoying nudist activities on holiday is an example of our relaxed attitude.
We love sex and a snatched blow job or clit licking can be a real blast in amongst normal daily routine.
Good thread and relates to one i created " changing attitudes to sex as you get older"
@maz1965 . I think you are proof, that because something isnt good , it will not always will be if you have the desire to change it.
Great to hear you are both enjoying and getting so much out of your new found exciting sex life.
@maz1965 . …ive just read a few of your posts… you do have a great way with words.
Very sexual . You might like www.flicklit.co.uk
It is an erotic creative writing platform and forum. It is made up of like minded Lovehoney members.
Great fun and can provide sexual inspiration.
It allows a bit more licence than LH , but monitored also.
Have a look with your man.!!
