I’ve been married to my wife for 10 years, been together for 12 years.
We have a really healthy sex life, its got better over the last few years, most of the time its “Parent sex” while the kids are having screen time 
but we still have a amazing sex life.
Recently she has been getting outfits (Which I love!) and I’ve suggested getting some toys for the both of us but she looked shocked and didn’t seem overjoyed with the idea. I’ve bought some cockrings as a start and try to get her round to the idea.
Anyone got any tips? I’m a bit lost really!
Thanks!
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You could try and leave the lovehoney website open on a particular toy, leave the room or house and let her find it, maybe she’ll get curious. Perhaps she’s just gotten used to and not feeling the need to have any toys for the 12 years you’ve been together. You could also just buy something like a wand, im pretty sure she’ll thank you for it and hopefully changes her mind on toys.
Hi and welcome to the forum.
If she was shocked by the idea, you don’t want to push her too fast. It may be that she doesn’t like the idea of using toys at all (in which case there isn’t anything you can do) or it may just be that she hadn’t thought about it and shock was just the initial reaction (in which case giving her some time to think about it is a good idea).
Maybe instead of sex toys have a look in the lube and better sex section of the website. Maybe something like a sensation lube or an orgasm balm might be a good place to start or possibly something more massage based. There is also the 3 for £15 offer which has a few toys etc on but also there is a selection of pocket guides (positions, activities, role play etc) that might be worth a look. More of a gentle introduction to trying different things.
If you really want to try with a vibrator though, maybe something like a finger vibrator. That way, it is just a small toy connected to your hand so it isn’t in the way or anything. If you put the toy on your finger it is on the front of your hand (so the opposite way to how they are used in the pictures), you should get the vibration transfer into your finger tip so you it will still be your touch stimulating her, just with a little vibration.
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Maybe start with something small like a bullet vibe? If she has never used one it maybe a confidence/nerve issue?
Hubby surprised me with our first toy, I had no idea he had bought one & he just started to use it on me whilst going down on me - we have been hooked on them ever since and have a great collection to!
Also parents so understand the time / energy constraints! Good luck
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I think a bullet vibe is the way to start. They are small, look non threatening, and aren’t for internal use.
I’d recommend a battery one to start with - they aren’t as powerful but still very nice. Something like the rocks off bullets. Try and find one that takes a AAA battery rather than the odd shape N batteries.
Some of the rechargeable bullets pack quite a punch, and may prove too much and off putting to start with.
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Hello and welcome @IcyT 
I agree with @Calie. If she’s unsure and reluctant pushing her on the issue may put her off completely. The advice about lube and extras is great. 
Another useful tip is to read the forums together. I often read snippets out to Mrs Chimp, and we have a chat about what other people are getting up to (though we don’t always indulge in it ourselves ). And even though we love sex toys we’re still pretty vanilla, so don’t think you automatically sign up for a dungeon just by browsing the sex toy section.
Here’s our Collection if you fancy a browse.
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Hi @IcyT
It can be a very difficult subject to bring up with out being seen as overly pushy. We started from a position of simply wanting to provide the other person with the most access to pleasure as possible. For us it was all about giving pleasure rather than living out fantasies. That can later though and an app such as Kindu can help understand each other without the sometimes awkward conversation.
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Hello @IcyT, welcome to the Forums.
Great advice from others here.
You could also try a toy which isn’t obviously a sex toy e.g. this pebble shaped toy is a clitoral vibe but could also be used for general massage if you paired it with a massage candle or oil (sold in the Lubes and Better Sex section). It looks tactile and doesn’t scream ‘vibrator!’.
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How about this advent calendar? It’s aimed towards couples (win win) but could be a great introduction to toys for your wife with the added excitement of it being an advent calendar and having something new to open each day.
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@GoGirl12 and @Ian_Chimp - great idea. We use bullets on each other and OH liked the mini-wand which didn’t do much for me - he liked the more diffused sensation.
The Pebble Vibe I suggested could be used in this way too - for intimate, sensual massage.
Just a note for the uninitiated or anyone likely to get carried away, bullets are for external use - any sensitive spots on anyone’s body - they are difficult to fish out of a vagina and if they get lost anally then a trip to A&E might be in order!
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@For_Your_Eyes_Only_x there is a lingerie calendar, too, (here and here), which might be a bit more to this woman’s taste if she is unsure about toys… it could be gifted with some massage oil, nice lube and a non-intimidating toy, and then @IcyT could leave it up to his wife to choose what to wear / use. He says she likes outfits.
I like the toy advent calendar, but even now if my husband presented me with a butt plug and nipple clamps I would be very clear which of us would be trying them out! So, I’m not sure if someone new to toys would like everything in it.
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Yes, I ordered a classic vibrator and said I would go first rubbing it on myself externally to see what it was like. Actually it’s very good. 
Same with a wand although she insisted I try full power which was a bit fierce. 
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I have to agree with some of the other commenters- if she acted “shocked”, I think it’s best to respect that reaction, and open the lines of communication. Being that you have been married for 10 years, I think that a honest chat would be the best route to take. You can then understand what her reservations are, and go from there!
Unfortunately, sex toys can still feel taboo to some due to our cultural conditioning. Since you are both having fun with the outfits she is purchasing, I would personally recommend a wearable couples vibe so you can embark on the adventure together (if she is interested of course ^_^). My personal favorite-favorite is the We-Vibe Chorus. It also includes an app controlled option which kinda makes sex toys feel more like a “toy” to many of my partners. It has features like “beat mode” that allows it to vibe in-sync with your favorite song…which is so fun. Toys should be fun!! You mentioned you had children, and are often trying to squeeze it into a shorter time frame. This vibe is also wearable. This means while she is wearing it around the house, you are able to control the Chorus from your phone…then when the time is right you can enjoy it together!
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Hi there, I’m new to the forum but saw this and thought I’d reply so hope you don’t mind. I would say that after 10 years together, possibly the reason she was shocked was either her taught beliefs growing up about sex toys or more than anything probably because she perhaps felt a little hurt that you ‘needed’ a toy after all these years of not. In which case you show her how the toys on LH are recommended by couples and can be an intimate emotional bonding experience not just a cold item that feels unnatural. Start off small with a tickler feather stick so it’s not a huge aggressive dildo for instance or some of the pretty jewelry like the nipple rings and clit clamps. Show her it’s about you pleasing her not that she’s ‘not good enough’ woo her with treats and pretty lingerie with a lace blindfold so its a gentle romantic introduction. Hope that helps!
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Hi and Welcome @IcyT,
@CherryCherrie1 (welcome to you too!) I totally agree, lots of people are brought up / conditioned to feel that sex toys are a bit seedy and have an initial negative reaction which can take quite a bit of work and patience to change.
My partner is quite sensitive like that too, i think the key for us was lots of communication and patient slow steps. Take some time to talk away from the bedroom (it’s generally best if these discussions are well separated from sex), let her know that you are interested to explore sex toys together and allow her to talk through her thoughts and deeper feelings about them. Some people like surprises so that might be great if you can judge it carefully but i know my partner likes to be involved and for us to be as emotionally close as possible and work things out together. Good Luck
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Thank you everyone for your inputs, I’ve taken them all on board
Thanks again!
Icy
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Good luck; let us know if you’re having fun. 