Maybe a smaller toy such as a bullet, a wand may be too strong for her.
Explore each others bodies, don’t rush, maybe encourage her to explore herself, until she explores and finds her way around her own body and how to tease the erogenous zones its hard to explain to a partner what to do and what not to do if you don’t understand you own body and how it reacts to touch etc. Encourage her to use lube aswell, rubbing, fondling and massaging without lube can cause friction which in turn will not feel nice.
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im the same with the power wand thats mains, its very numbing, too powerful
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