Give her full control of the toys, let her show you what she wants and how she wants it.
Mix it up a bit. Put the toys away, use your fingers and your tongue but don’t dive straight in. Take your time and let her relax into it.
I love kissing and licking my wife’s feet and toes. By the time I’ve worked my way up between her legs, whether she’s lying on her back or front, she’s already on the edge.
Problem is, she doesn’t like full control of the toys, but I took one of the tips above and let her guide my hand, which she liked. She’s very unsure with her body (she struggles to find her own clit) but it’s going in a good direction!
As for letting her relax, she told me earlier that she really enjoyed me touching and feeling her body yesterday- so some good feedback!
One of the most useful things you can do is look at an anatomy diagram of a vulva and a penis, and check out what and where everything is (lots of stuff is hidden below the surface). Looking in a mirror is really useful too. Mrs Chimp is quite a bit older than your partner, but was still relatively unfamiliar with her own anatomy, and she found looking in a mirror really helped when she was working out how to find the perfect placement for her first Womanizer-style clit toy.
Hey, update - my girlfriend has gotten right to the edge a few times, she says she can tell because her body feels really disappointed after. She’ll build up and then when she actually goes to cum, she tenses and closes her legs, ruining the orgasm. She’s getting quite frustrated about this, but it is progress and I’m trying to focus on relaxing her a bit.
Hey, fantastic. its great your both making progress.
It can be really easy to tense up and wreck and orgasm, I’ve done this myself many times. I find deep breathing helps alot.
It might feel like it tamps the orgasm down for her, but it tends to change how an orgasm feels when it happens for me.
Not focusing on cumming helps alot too (for some reason that is counterproductive the brain is a strange place) but continuing to focus on the sensations im having also helps massively.
the brain is also an erogenous zone. so little things like telling her how sexy you find her and how much she turns you on can really help. (Also i personally find the little noises guys make during sex a massive turn on.)
At the end of the day, orgasm isnt everything. There are types of sex where the whole point is to avoid cumming for as long as possible (Like edging and tantric sex) and just ride the high of being very turned on. (Edging is alot of fun, definitely worth a look)
She says she does tend to focus on orgasming a lot, I’ve tried the deep breathing with her before, but I’ll put more focus on it, try and relax her.
Anyway progress is progress and I’m happy with that, she’ll definitely experience an orgasm sometime!
She’s not alone in struggling to cum, i did too to start with. So she doesn’t need to stress about it. Somethings just take time and experimentation. As long as your both having an enjoyable session thats what matters
Although tense still, I managed to relax her enough to get her to not close her legs. She started to squeak and squeel and when I took it off she had… I guess squirted?? Thank god we used a towel!
Anyways, then I penetrated her and, she was really really sensitive. Like, every thrust was driving her crazy.
Oh, and every time she got close but ruined it, her body got disappointed but this time she said it was not disappointed.
Soo, this sounds like an orgasm to me? She’s not sure if it was or not, so wanted to hear your opinion girls and ask
When you had your first orgasm, how did you know THAT was an orgasm?
Well, vaginal contractions really. If you, or your partner, have your fingers (or other parts of your anatomy) inside her when she cums you’ll feel them. She should be able to feel them herself, She might just not know what she’s feeling yet if its her first one.
I also find i get this glowy, happy feeling from all the endorphins afterwards too. Kind of feels like when youve had a really good long bask in the sun on a hot day and your kind of languid and warm and everything just feels so good you don’t want to move.
If she squirted, chances are she probably came too (though you can do one without the other)
Either way, sounds you both had a really good time, which is what matters so glad all the tips everyone shared are going well.
My first one was really unexpected. I was only vaguely aware that female orgasms existed and had been told that most women couldn’t orgasm anyway so when i had one i was rather surprised. For me it’s intense vaginal contractions and feels like a release of building tension, like reaching a peak and dropping off the other side! If i have a strong one then my hips and body twitch too. I also get the warm glowing feeling that @Green_Eyed_Girl mentioned and feel really relaxed like all my muscles have released their normal tension.
Either way, it sounds like you both had a good time and she’s more relaxed about it than before. Carry on enjoying yourselves and don’t worry too much about what it was
As someone who seems to be similar to your girlfriend, my first orgasm was with a Womanizer and it was vaginal contractions accompanied by an almost blinding effect as it hit me I was a virgin and knew nothing about sex toys when I started dating my partner so we started slow with him just fingering my clit and that felt great at first, but now my most guaranteed and strong orgasms are with a Doxy I agree with @Green_Eyed_Girl and @Kitty-Cat01, the fact that you’re enjoying your time together is all that matters I haven’t yet orgasmed during PIV, and have only orgasmed once in my partner’s presence, but he did manage to get me to squirt once Getting her to relax will probably just come in her own time as I still can’t totally get out of my head yet even after dating for over a year Also, she might come around more to the toys as I started just getting condoms and lube for us and now have over 50 toys
I have a friend with benifits kind of things and she doesnt orgasm from intercourse, only from oral. She let me know what gets her to orgasm durring oral and literally now everytime i give her oral she does.
Definitely communication from her part letting you know at the time will help a lot.