How would you measure a penis?

Sex Tips & Talk
1

Since I've seen it discussed here and I've actually had some strange conversations about it in the past, I thought I'd start a thread.

I have seen some hilarious ways of measuring cocks. The only time I've seen one get measured on TV, they practically measure it from the guy's belly button. I also don't believe in using a tape measure because there are so many ways of cheating since you can bend the tape to make it longer, you can also sneak about another half an inch by measuring along the side where the pubic bone doesn't get in the way.

So what do you think the best way to measure a penis is? I think we can all agree that measuring a flacid cock is pointless.

2

Pupic bone to tip for length and around the head rim for girth and make sure you enjoy taking the measurements .

3

Best taken with its owner standing.

4

Hold a laser pen at the base, and a small mirror at the top. Place a photodetector linked to a timer at the base, right next to the laser pen. Press the button on the laser pen and wait for the beam to reflect off the mirror back into the photodetector/ timer, stopping the clock. About three seconds.

5

If you want the total weight then fill a jug full of water and weigh it ,next put the erect penis into the jug , taking care to keep the balls out let the excess water overflow. Then reweigh the jug subtract the smaller figure from the greater and you have the weight and the mass of the penis.

6

Take the ruler, throw it in the bin, then use the time you would of used measuring by reading on how to pleasure a woman/man..

After that it doesn't really matter how big it is. lol

1 Like
7

amandammmm wrote:

Chop it off then old it up against a ruler

Naughty naughty.

1 Like
8

Agree with Happy days.

Riverview and GG, both of those methods wouldn't yield accurate results, at all!

9

Lol I couldn't be sure whether what I was reading with lasers and jugs of water was a wind up or not.

Honestly don't worry about penis size. Just say it's 7 inches. Simple enough.

10

If it belongs to a particularly annoying neighbour or functionary...

First place on table pointing inwards from the edge...then hammer flat with rolling pin or meat tenderizer.

11

Best to rate the effect it has than to measure it's size in my humble opinion.

12

I remember Cosmopolitan doing a survey, and they come to the conclusion that if you could wear a toilet roll then it was big enough!!

13

If it's more than a handful, i'm happy.

And thankfully, my OH is definitely more than a handul, so all is good :-)

14

Thank you everyone, I've not giggled this much in ages!

15

Distance light travels in 3 secs = worrying.

16

Who cares it's how u use it.

17

mine is so small i dont need to measure it im happy if i can use use 2 fingers just to jerk off the oh likes it because when do have anal it dont hurt her i call him a short pencil prick

18

I do think it is worth measuring, to have a rough gage. Pubic bone to tip, straight along the top seems to match the ways toys are sold. I have bought toys that ended up of no use because they were not the right size and/or broke.

Here is a lovehoney article on girth (not what you were looking for but ...)
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/male-sex-toys/buyers-guide/how-to-measure-for-a-cock-ring/

19

Pubic bone to tip is how most people measure their manhood, but i agree i have seen some odd items used to measure a mans manhood.

Just be happy with your size as alot of people say its how you use it and not about the size, personally i dont see the obsession with having to say it's 'X' amount of inches :/

20

Gentle giant wrote:

If you want the total weight then fill a jug full of water and weigh it ,next put the erect penis into the jug , taking care to keep the balls out let the excess water overflow. Then reweigh the jug subtract the smaller figure from the greater and you have the weight and the mass of the penis.

That would give you the volume of the penis not the mass as water density =/= penis density.