Hypothetical question here and I am curious as to who also thinks the same?
Wouldnt it be nice in an ideal world, or maybe some would not like this, but if we all, male and female had a irresistible need which had to be fulfilled consensually ofcourse, to have hot passionate non emotional one time sex with half of all the adult population (within our adult age range) and of those half ofcourse were ones we found attracted and it was to be done on a weekly/or 3 day basis and the sex no matter what was either incredibly fulfilling or at worst still nice.
That this was the way of the world and we could all still have a one stable relationship/marriage but this was also a human necessity we all had and we all needed and accepted our wife/husband also needed.
Would anyone like this? Or admit to it? if that was the way society was? Also who is male/female/Bi/Straight out of curiosity if happy to mention.
Hypothetical question here and I am curious as to who also thinks the same?
Love to see how the responses on here differ from those on Mumsnet!
I will it will be interesting also. I think perhaps some people because of social stigmas might be reluctant to admit to liking the idea, if they secretly like the idea that is.
@thelordofhope not for me. I need an emotional connection. Absolutely no desire to bump uglies with anyone except my Husband.
No I wouldn’t…
I wouldn’t want the risks involved…it would make me feel used and the act itself wouldn’t be as special anymore if it was a necessity.
Imagine going to Aldi on a busy Saturday and half the adults in there you had had sex with…
Nah not for me.
Revolving door scenarios dont do it for me either. Need a connection with another person. Even if its just casual, one nighters are not my thing. Id rather have a fwb setup if i cant have a serious relationship
Ive been a swinger for many years (now in a closed monogamous relationship) and i was soooo fussy. I usually had to meet somebody socially either in a pub or swingers club and see if there was some sort of connection. If I werent feeling it, I couldn’t do anything sexual. I did make some great friends though!
I tried it once and I felt awful, couldnt wait to get it over with. I just lay there like a sack of spuds. Same feeling when I tried dogging and greedy girl at a swingers club.
I just can’t do sex just for the sake of it. Nothing wrong with whomever wants to do this, however, just not for me.
Hmm for me an emotional connection is what makes sex passionate and worth having even though at times I do get urges to want random sex even though I’d probably never fall through with it as my head would backlash me afterwards lol
Hypothetically as well I reckon in that sort of world, STDs would be higher than ever and we’d get another HIV epidemic spreading…
Should also say on a positive note if this was a thing then many more people might be happier with springs in steps from having regular sex?! - who knows lol
Nope unfortunately that’s not for me either. I have to fancy someone and be extremely sexual attracted to a person to have sex with them.
I also like to know a person and things they enjoy. There would be no point in me having sex with someone let’s say submissive because that’s not me. That’s just one example and I have many more. I’m in my 30s now and Im done with having sex I don’t enjoy lol
In my eyes I think marriage should be a union between two people but it shouldn’t have to be the bottom line in terms of sexual activities.
I think a marriage is for sharing a family, sharing a home, sharing great sex and exploring things together but it could also be open to sex with others if they both consented.
My view is open marriages are fine … just not mainstream. I would allow my other half time with others, I know he wouldn’t reciprocate that allowance and I don’t really need or want him to but I’d like to think if he wanted to explore and have fun openly and honestly he could.
A good friend once said marriage should never be manogamous and I understand what she meant sort of!
I’m by no means saying I want to go out and sleep with others especially not half of the population but I am saying there should be an understanding for some that people have needs and sometimes we fancy cake rather than ice cream or … a bit of both in the same bowl!
Not for me either.
I too need that emotional connection, and for the first time I’ve got that, and I’m not going to risk that or loose it. So feeling used and just having meaningless sex with every Tom, dick and harry isn’t for me. And it’ll be no longer special. And there’s no way I’m sharing him, and he’s the only one I want.
I need an emotional connection but from reading your posts I can see you are interested in an open relationship and I can understand your point of view.
I like the idea of watching or being watched but do not wish to share one bit I’m too greedy !
For me I like the idea of things being more open for my husband and yes, we’d like to try an MFF but as far as I’m concerned so long as he’s honest and open , I don’t see the need for limits.
So for me it’s a yeh - why not
No I don’t like the idea of this. I need to feel atleast some connection to someone to even consider sex and I would have to know them for a while.
I can relate to your feelings on this and I am the same and thanks for the replys to my post and to everyone else of course.
My wife and I would like to try a MFF and have chatted about loads of things we would love to do with another couple, for instance for her to have MFF with another couple I would find this very arousing and similar things with another couple.
I agree we have needs as humans and some of those needs are sexual and if for instance she said to me these are my other sexual needs which I need to explore and also get out of my system ie a MFF or to have sex with not just you. Then so long as she was open and honest and we agreed how we would go about it all and protecting our marriage then I don’t see the need to have limits. I think we have needs as humans and some different to others and to oppress those needs is damaging and we need to be free to fufil those needs, so long as with consenting adults ofcourse. Personally, for me, and I know some others feel this way too, its a bit like eating cake, sometimes you feel like ice cream instead. For me the thrill and satisfaction from having sex with someone new that you have never had sex with before is incredible and satisfying. I know some people say its like you are just using eachother without any emotional connection but I even if you have an emotonal connection and you have hot passionate sex you are still releasing that sexual energy and fufilling a sexual need. Which for me sex with someone new, who I have never had sex with before is so exciting, how does that person kiss, they way they kiss, a type of kiss you have never had before so its like your first time ever kissing, then the way they move, they way they touch you and certain other things which is something unique to each person so its again like having sex for the very first time, the exploring each others bodies like exploring a lost tropical island you have never been to…all of these things and more. So incredible.
In terms of my particular fantasy which kind of do relate to the above about the newness of first time sex with another person and the fulfilment that brings to me. In my 20s, (I am now 42) I was in an open relationship and also worked in a nightclub and was fortunate enough to go though a period of sleeping with around 20 different women over a period of about 1 year and it was the most satisfying and fulfilling time ever.
So thats why I was asking the question, would others like to do this in an ideal world? Have steady stable relationship but every week or month be able to have wild and passionate sex with someone new who you found attractive?
In terms of an ideal world, well in my thoughts or fantasy
Interesting, I think for men and less so women its different,for example in this situation, so if a mans at say a beach in Spain on a hot day and surrounded by many beautiful women in bikinis and some topless or happen to be at a nudist beach he would not feel any sexual attraction to any women? or he would only maybe feel sexual attraction to a woman after enjoying her company and a developing an emotional connection? All of that is totally fine ofcourse. As I think for most men and some women, if honest, and I know most men are conditioned to not admit this by society, but if they were at a beach all day on a hot day in Spain or many other European countries where they are surrounded by many beautiful women in bikinis and many topless they would experience sexual attraction to many of those women. I am sorry but I think this is true, having many male friends over the years who admitted when in such a situation it was impossible not to experience sexual attraction to some women as men and some women are visual creatures and respond to visual sexual stimuli as men are sexually stimulated visually which mean if they are sexually stimulated visually there is a desire to have sex with the person they are sexually aroused by. So it would be nigh impossible for a man in particular to be on a beach such as this and not be sexually stimulated visually numerous times hence having a sexual desire to have sex with those women he/she was aroused by, unless ofcourse you kept your eyes closed the whole time. Theres nothing shameful to admit this and it doesnt mean staring at any woman or being inappropriate, it just happening to notice and in your line of sight innocently you will be sexually stimulated visually hence creating sexual desures. I know society teaching men and women this is not OK but this is how men, in particular are genetically wired.
@thelordofhope I cannot read all as Im supposed to be working
But generalised comments like “women are this and men are that” often cause offence. So I may stop reading now!
It depends where I am in my cycle. When i’m ovulating i feel attracted to men I wouldnt usually look twice at, and im very horny, so then I would probably say this sounds like a good idea. But even then I would want a mix of men and women
But the rest of the time, when my hormones arent raging, I think it would not be something for me. Its awkward enough seeing past lovers out and about, I wouldnt want that amplified! Also i get very jealous, so even if it was ‘accepted’, it would break me to know hubby was shagging around!