I am addicted to an extremely attractive guy who has casual hook-ups

I am 18, and there is one guy at my school who is super-attractive, to the point that he gets girls all the time with literally zero effort - he essentially looks like a top-class supermodel, so the sight of him is always a lot to take in.
And the thing is, I have sort of fallen into this “trap” myself;
I would start ending up with other girls who were hitting on him during school parties, and then we would end up having sex with him, and this has been going on for a few weeks now.
However, I am starting to feel like I want to have a more personal date where it is just me and him, and I feel like I am just one in the bunch when I meet him the way that I currently meet him;
I almost feel like I humiliate myself when I take part in things where he has it his way with one girl at a time, which is what usually happens at those meetings.
I am sure that he probably loves those situations, but I have noticed that I start to feel more and more jealous when I am “one in the crowd” like that.
What should I do about this?
I have thought about telling him that I want to meet him “in private”, but I am not sure at all if he is that type.


Honestly, I would back off. He’s going to be used to being chased and it will be more attractive to him to have to do the chasing. And if he doesn’t then he doesn’t want what you want and thats ok too.
Separate yourself from the bunch and don’t contact him. It might be hard but if he reaches out then you’ll know that he’s noticed that you’re not around. Let him come to you.

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Yeah, like I said, there have been multiple situations when I and some other girls have essentially been bent forward and he has had sex with one girl at a time, and I feel humiliated by that.
The tricky thing is that I also love the moment when I am “next one in line” and he starts having sex with me, and I always get orgasms those times, so it is very addictive as well.
But I also realise that I am most likely nothing special to him, and that he just views me and all the other girls as “easy sex”.

Playing hard to get is pretty attractive to a guy who gets whatever or whoever he wants.

I’d suggest getting his attention and then making him chase you.

Question: At parties are you saying that a group of girls has sex with this guy all at the same time or is he just sleeping with every girl in the group one after another? Although this sounds like a Stagette party, it is unsustainable in real life. Dude sounds like a bit of a douche and as @JoCat says, I would back off totally and make him accountable.

There are way more worthwhile guys than him and selling yourself out just to have an orgasm is sad. You deserve more self respect than that in my opinion.

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I didn’t take that part in when I read it at first, please don’t do things that humiliate you and although you see it as you’re next, you’re bent over and to put it bluntly, you’re the next hole. So you may be right and he sees you as easy sex.

Does he use condoms and change them with each new person?

If thats what they enjoy doing then grand but its not what you want, so for you, you should stop.


It is usually me and other girls flirting with him, then some girl will start seducing him and making out with him, and then it escalates from there.
It is very hard to resist those situations, since I get opportunities to both make out with him and have sex with him, but it is always with other girls at the same time, who are essentially just accepting that they aren’t the only girl there.

He does use condoms, and always switches them, so that feels alright at least.

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If I were him and girls were lining up 3,4 or 5 at a time just to be fucked, I would likely have some fun with it too. However, nothing great comes out of that and I can’t see it lasting too long.

On a side note, I am surprised that if you can orgasm from it, how the hell he continues down the row. It would take me 3-4 hours to orgasm nailing every girl. I guess I’m not 18-20 years old anymore either…lol :thinking: :rofl:

Also, are these video recorded and posted somewhere? I can’t see myself being proud of my daughter in the row getting banged.

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No, they are not recorded anywhere, as far as I know.

He seems very good at holding on, and it is usually the girls who show signs of orgasms.
But of course, he does get orgasm himself sooner or later, and at that point it will either slow down for a while, or he will get back to it very quickly.
But like I said, I feel a bit undervalued when he probably just views me as “next willing girl to be fucked”.

Sigh…a little jealous of him and a little sad for you. More self respect and less of being a fuck toy would be my advice…but I can see the fun in it too.

Sounds like you know the right thing to do already.


Yeah, well the thing that worries me a bit is that he might get bored by me if it is him and me alone;
he seems to be much more into several girls at once.
But I feel that I would want to be alone with him, and try to get something more personal out of it;
right now, I feel almost invisible to him.

I guess that the whole group sex part was exciting the first several times, however it was mostly him going at one girl at a time from behind, and this didn’t feel very intimate;
and also, the constant sound of other girls getting orgasms from him, all the time (they would start sounding a bit like that even before he had started having sex with anyone, like a bunch of giggling and moaning and little squeaking all the time), made me feel even more jealous, and it also made me feel like those girls got all his attention.

@telpelauretl are you really that into him, or do you think part of it could be that you’re competing with the other girls?

I mean, do you even really know the guy, or is he just super hot and you want him all to yourself?

Are you lining up, because you’d rather do that than ‘miss out’? I’m a bit concerned you’re damaging your self-esteem, while thinking you’re building it up.


I guess it is mostly that I am very very attracted to his looks, and that he seems humble and relaxed;
that combination makes him seem highly desirable to me.

But of course, it is quite frustrating to feel like one among all his other girls.
And it is especially those… “line-up” moments that make me feel quite uncomfortable;
there is something about the constant moaning and delighted squeaks from the other girls while he is switching between everyone that makes me feel “cheap”, so to speak.
But it hasn’t bothered me that much, since I have been so focused on “getting my chance”, but I realise that it is likely not very good in the long run.

I have been thinking of asking him in a sweet way if he wants to do something together with me some day, like “would you maybe be willing to meet and do something together, just you and I?”.
I am not sure if it is a good idea to try to ask him out at this point, but maybe it will make me stand out a little bit.

lordy, any situation where you feel humiliated (unless that really is your kink) is a no. If you think he will be into anything other than sexual gratification you are kidding yourself. Why would he go to any effort when he is getting what he wants thrown at him. Respect yourself more than this and go get an STI check too


Yeah, I haven’t been at those parties since last weekend, and I tested myself this last Monday, and I was fine.
I feel that it will not be very good for me to be physically drawn to him in this way, and I started to feel a bit uncomfortable by hearing the other girls moan and giggle right beside me all the time during those “line-ups”.

I did think about kindly asking him if he would like to meet up with me and spend some alone time with me, since that might have made me stand out a bit, however I am guessing that several of the other girls have done the same thing, and tried to snag him, so that might not make me very special either.

Even if he did say yes to a date with just you and him, I think youd find he would pull out a diary and check his bookings…

Sounds like a Ram in a field of sheep to me. Sorry

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All that moaning, is probably not orgasming and if you’re saying they’re moaning before he gets to them, then either they’re sorting themselves out or they’re faking it. Women who orgasm through penetration are in the minority. So its very likely they’re enjoying themselves, and very unlikely that they’re orgasming.

I’d step away, build your self esteem and don’t do anything with anyone that is a detriment to you.

Edited for spelling.

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You say its only been going on a couple of weeks
You also said you have fallen into his “TRAP”

Find yourself a nice guy and keep what you’ve been doing as a memory… Just not one of his friends who is having the same competition and comparing notes (maybe)
One day (when his balls are empty and he has gone through the evolutionary chart) he might come looking for you… I wouldnt chase the dream with all that competition at the moment though.

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Yes, I will try to distance myself from him, unless maybe if he says yes to a one-on-one date when I ask him.

Those encounters with him together with the other girls were mentally draining in a lot of ways, since I felt that I was starting to develop a crush on him;
I felt jealous every time he was being intimate with one of the other girls, and I always wanted his attention.
The only time when those frequent “line-up” moments felt good to me were when he had actually penetrated me and had put his hands on me - at that moment I got into a completely different state, and felt exhilarated, and then when he switched to another girl I felt forgotten and invisible again.
It is probably not healthy for me to have those kinds of meetings with him in the long run.

It sounds to me like this guy has all the looks but nothing else, if it was me I would be looking else where for a relationship.

Only advice I can offer is run :sweat_smile:

He’s got how many other girls lined up at once? And you think he’s going to be perfectly content to get into a relationship and be monogamous? (I assume you want him just for yourself, considering you mention how jealous you get when he’s intimate with other girls)

You feel invisible when he’s not touching you, so he’s not spending any sort of time with you outside of this that’s satisfying to you.

This is so toxic, and your snippets regarding your mental health about the situation doesn’t sound great. You’re seeking his validation, and trust me, you’re not going to get it. He sounds like a classic narcissist.

There are so many red flags here that you’re blatantly ignoring. I’m 24, and if there was any man treating me like this? I’d absolutely bolt (My ex was very similar, toxic to the nines, you’re better off without him).

The way he’s treating you girls is demeaning, there’s no connection outside the fleeting physical moments you have at these parties. All he’s doing is using you. Is that really what you want?