I'm sure there have been a billion and one threads about this already but I've just had a good look at mine in the mirror and I still hate it just as much as I have done all my life! (well, since my early teens!)
It's silly really. For God's sake, I'm a midwife! I see vaginas practically everyday, you really wouldn't think that I would be so bothered by my own. I accept that labia come in all different shapes and sizes, that sometimes they're a different colour to the rest of your skin, sometimes one lip is larger than the other, sometimes they're wrinkly. I've seen it all! And I honestly don't look at one and think "that's a really nice vagina" or "ew, that's a horrible one". It's just a vagina and I don't pay any attention to it!
But I really do hate mine! I just had a good look in the mirror. My labia majora (outer lips) are quite large and a bit wrinkly (ew, sorry for the graphic description), my labia minora are a lot bigger and stick out quite a lot. To be frank, it doesn't look sexy in any way shape or form, it actually looks really scary!
In my experience guys don't seem to mind (that I know of). My ex boyfriend said he loved it exactly the way it was. I've slept with a few other guys who haven't commented on it and have seemed more than happy to be attentive to it. But I can't just relax about it when I'm sleeping with somebody (especially for the first time) I can't just lie back and enjoy oral sex I feel quite on edge especially if the lights are on. It's really getting me down and I know it shouldn't.
I don't want a designer vagina, I know that not everyone looks how girls in porn do. I know that I'm completely and utterly normal and that it all works really well but I still feel really uncomfortable about how I look down there.
So a question for the girls... do you really love your lady bits?
And guys... do you care what they look like at all? Do you like larger labia? Have you ever been put off by one (please, please be honest!)
I'm sorry you feel so negatively towards yours. I think it is something that you can come to accept. I never really thought mine looked attractive when I was younger and never really thought about what the person I was with would think. Like all other parts of our bodies, different people like different things. Some people like larger labia, some prefer small.
So in answer to your question, after years of not feeling particuarly one way or the other about them, I now love my lady bits!
In all honesty, I don't mind mine now. I used to hate it so much but then my stomach caught my eye and the labia got pushed out of mind :p
Like Honeytongue, I'm sorry you feel this way :( I know it's not nice and it feel horrible. The way I think of it now is - if he likes the rest of me enough to want to make love to me or just fuck me, he's going to have to deal with it ;p I am who I am, apart from my tummy and labia I'm okay looking and what's the point in changing it if my partners are happy to.
Hope you find a way to be happy with your lady parts, I'm sure they're better than you think m'dear ;p xx
Hey dot, like the others I have to say I'm sorry you feel this way, but I guess everyone has something they don't like about their body, for me it's my thighs (unusual for a guy, I know.)
As far as my opinions of lady bits go, I have to say I love my gf's, but as there's also an emotional relationship there, and it's the first/only one I've got close enough to, I can't say I can make any comparison either.
Not much help I know (sorry), but at least you know I sympathise, rather than just ignore your pain, right?
If I'm honest - I've never really given it a moments thought until now.
I kinda think all vulvae are a bit ugly out of context but when are you ever close enough to one to scrutinise it? Either you're witnessing birth when your focus is on the baby/babies or you're in a sexual situation when to be frank I think most people are just glad to be there.
When a guy is down there he's not assessing how you look; he's concentrating on giving you a good time, enjoying your scent and savouring your taste. Heck - he wouldn't be down there if he didn't want to be!
I'd try not to worry about it (easier said than done I understand). They way you've described yourself sounds like all the parts of your genitalia are distinct & clear to see which in all honesty is a hidden blessing - not many people will complain about being able to find everything easily.
Visually, no, I probably don't love my bits but I certainly don't hate them either.
All in all I love them for how they feel, for how they make me feel, for how they make hubby feel.
my stomach caught my eye and the labia got pushed out of mind :p
That is such a weird mental image you've given me...
Anyway, .-. I can honestly say that I've never seen a set of labia that make me go "ewwww". It just doesn't happen. And personally I find all the different shapes and sizes as individual as a person's face or figure - there may be ones I'm more attracted to, or less, but it's the person they belong to that's the important thing, and I'm definitely not interested in just stopping and looking at them! Once you take their feel into account, the larger, more prominent ones might even have an advantage during oral or manual foreplay.
In short, relax! If a guy really has a problem with that part of you, he'll have to deal with it. But feeling uncomfortable with yourself won't help. I hope you learn to love them!
MrMr
PS This!
CurlyCoupleWife wrote:
in a sexual situation [...] to be frank I think most people are just glad to be there.
I'd never considered mine. Just really never crossed my mind. I got the shock of my life when my boyfriend told me "You've got such a pretty pussy." I'd never considered a 'prettiness' element to them. They're functional, for me. Mind you, they can look nice in photographs so I guess there is an artistic element to all those bits and bobs..
However, to give you an alternative view, my boyfriend did then search for female genitalia on the internet to try and show me that actually how I looked was pretty compared to others. So presumably he does have a view on it. But then, I suspect it was more of a reassurance thing for me (given that having been shocked, I became quite body conscious, weirdly) than an actual opinion on labia..
I would also state, that when you are attracted to someone - you tend to end up being attracted to every part of them!
It really doesn't matter how it looks dotdashdot, and if there are any blokes out there that think it does they have issues, we are all different and if we all took a good look at our own genitals we would prob find fault of our own, It is human nature, I'm not entirely happy with the shape or look of my genitals, but intill some one screams "what the f**k is that" then point and laughs, I'm going to take it, thats its all in my head.
And going by your 'graphic' description, it sounds like you have a nice labia and nothing to worry about x
I prefer my own sex, so in my view the vagina is beautiful anyway, in all its forms. We should be proud of our bodies and celebrate them.
When I sleep with a partner for the first time, it's really pleasurable to explore her properly - every woman's vulva and labia are unique, but all lovely in their own way.
That said, in my experience most of us are more similar to each other than different, but I think many women have self-esteem issues when it comes to that part of their anatomy. They worry that their genitals are ugly, yucky, smelly - are too floppy or loose, or mishapen.
It's a shame, becaause not only does your partner rarely notice or care about any flaws, but usually they're wrong in the first place - and the result is a loss of confidence in bed.
I've always been pretty happy with how I look myself in that regard - my labia are fairly fleshy, and the hood around my clitoris tends to poke out a bit...so not perfect, but I don't think anyone is!
My ex used to have the same problem with her own perception of appearance down there. She hated the look of it, and hated me going down on her, but until she pointed it out to me after a month of dating or so, I hadnt even realised one was slightly larger than the other.
I dont think ive ever seen one that I thought negatively of, when it comes to appearance. For me, if it doesnt smell, and its not covered in a rash/cuts, or if its green (happened once, seriously), I probably wouldnt even notice the appearance except for the little voice at the back of my head going "yay, vagina"
The size of a womans labia doesn't bother me at all....I really like big and small, however I do find dark coloured labia's a bit off putting, I much prefer a lighter coloured labia which is easily done these days (I think!) like anal bleaching, many celebs and porn stars have it done.
I much prefer a lighter coloured labia which is easily done these days (I think!) like anal bleaching, many celebs and porn stars have it done.
Vaginas, as with any body part (particularly breasts), regardless of shape/colour etc, I always prefer natural to fake.
dotdashdot wrote:
I still hate it just as much as I have done all my life!
I don't want a designer vagina.
To me, thinking that you have to convert your own body to an idea (normally other people's) of what is sexy (particularly copying porn stars??), is more of a turn off than whatever mother nature has given people.
Hmmmm, thinking about it I don't really have a problem with mine.
I did have a little worry that I was a bit fleshy down there and after looking at other pictures (when I was looking to get my VCH done) it kind of confirmed my suspicions but I def don't hate it down there and, for me, getting my piercing made it feel prettier.
Perhaps dotdashdot, one of the reasons you're so conscious is because you see so many in the course of your profession - it makes you more aware? Whereas I've only actually even seen mine in the flesh!!!
illumine wrote:
i feel the same about mine. one of my inner labia is bigger which is very uncomfortable, gets in the way during sex and sometimes gets caught in my knickers, im considering getting a labiaplasty to sort it out, also stops me worrying that it looks horrible.
Illumine, I think from reading your other posts you seem like a strong confident woman so I'm defo not going to preach, plus you know your own mind, but please think so carefully before doing anything like this x x
I do find dark coloured labia's a bit off putting, I much prefer a lighter coloured labia which is easily done these days (I think!) like anal bleaching, many celebs and porn stars have it done.
Really? Perhaps you would feel differently if someone told you they didn't like the colour of your cock and asked you to put chemical bleaching agents on it... Each to their own in terms of your preferences but please be aware that statements like that can be very damaging to someone's self confidence.
Speaking as one who has had male genitalia for all of their life I find it a little odd when a lady starts to find her labia unattractive, indeed I have met several ladies who did not like the look of their vadges. Such a shame really. All in in all I find large pouty lips rather attractive and much more interesting than the sanitized tucked away jobs you see in porn.
In fact I do think that here porn does have an influence on how people see their vaginas. Just as lots of men start obsessing about the size of their cox when the see some of the freaks of nature shown in porn.
I wish I could say something to the OP to reconcile her to what I'm sure is really a lovely vagina, but anyway here's a big hug instead!
