So as some of you may (or may not) know myself and my husband have been trying for a baby for a year now, unsuccessfully. :( We had been hoping that this Christmas would either be our baby's first or that I would be pregnant so it has been pretty disappointing for us every month when we have failed yet again and I'm going to go to the docs in the new year to see if there are any problems. What I'm wondering is have any of you been through this? What can we expect when we go to the docs? (I've never even had a smear test yet so I am pretty scared about the prospect of what tests may be done!). Have any of you been told that you are infertile and how did you deal with this? I'm terrified that infertility could be the result of tests as my only dream since a child has been to be a mother, so if I'm told that's not possible I really don't know how I'll take it. (Though I'd rather have an answer either way, so if I'm told we are infertile, I can try and come to terms with it and at least I can stop getting my hopes up every month and facing complete disappointment every time I get a period). And lastly are there any success stories? I'd love to hear them, it might give me a bit of hope for our own struggle with conceiving.
Sorry for the millions of questions in that post but I wasn't sure where else to turn to as most people in my personal life tend to be of the opinion to sit back and do nothing and to let nature take its course, if it happens it happens and if not too bad.
At 20 years old, I've not long been told that there is pretty much no chance of me having children naturally.
Admittedly, I haven't properly dealt with it yet. Although i'm only 20, I know i've always wanted kids, as a lesbian, I am lucky in the fact that my partner could carry a biological child for us. But then there are also things such as a surrogete and adoption that can lead to becoming parents.
That's currently what I'm focusing on, that just because I myself, cannot physically birth the children myself, does not mean that I will never be a mother. There are so, so many options, and just because you may be infertile/ have infertility problems,(also IVF), it will not stop you being a loving mother.
It may not be you.My brother was trying with his Mrs A couple of years ago and it was found that he had a low sperm count .This can be easily fixed as they can mix sperm samples together and in plant them.
As you are serious about having kids then you are doing the right thing by getting help to identify where the problem is as it could be a dozen or so different reasons and then it could be just bad luck.
At 20 years old, I've not long been told that there is pretty much no chance of me having children naturally.
Admittedly, I haven't properly dealt with it yet. Although i'm only 20, I know i've always wanted kids, as a lesbian, I am lucky in the fact that my partner could carry a biological child for us. But then there are also things such as a surrogete and adoption that can lead to becoming parents.
That's currently what I'm focusing on, that just because I myself, cannot physically birth the children myself, does not mean that I will never be a mother. There are so, so many options, and just because you may be infertile/ have infertility problems,(also IVF), it will not stop you being a loving mother.
Hope this has helped even just a little bit x
I'm so sorry for that news, glad you aren't giving up hope though, I'm sure you'll make a great mum someday x
It may not be you.My brother was trying with his Mrs A couple of years ago and it was found that he had a low sperm count .This can be easily fixed as they can mix sperm samples together and in plant them.
As you are serious about having kids then you are doing the right thing by getting help to identify where the problem is as it could be a dozen or so different reasons and then it could be just bad luck.
I know, hubby shall be seeing the doc at some point as well I think to get checked out which he isn't looking forward to either but good to know though that low sperm count can be fixed! :)
My mum was told she would never have children by multiple doctors, and was diagnosed with endometriosis. She underwent IVF 4 times (each unsuccessful) and had uterus injections daily for 5 years. She tried everything possible and after 8 years trying she got a phonecall from the doctor telling her she was pregnant and to stop all treatment. I hope this gives you some hope that when it seems it won't happen it surprises you & happens, don't give up ^_^
I've been tested for endometriosis and results were inconclusive & even though I'm 20 it worries me I might not be able to have children as I think I've found someone I'd like to have children with, especially when he's said I'd make a good mother Xx
I haven't been through fertility testing myself, but I did look in to similar testing after I had my miscarriage.
I think it's most likely they'll start with a blood test to measure your hormones, it helps if you've been tracking your cycles as it will help determine the window for testing. I think they usually test to see if you've been ovulating, and whether you produce enough progesterone or if you're suffering from oestrogen dominance etc. Obviously sperm tests are also top of the list, as like you say, it's non invasive and many sperm problems can be sorted out.
They may refer you for an ultrasound just to check your physical anatomy and make sure there's no growths or cysts, it depends though. Some doctors are quite happy to do this and others prefer to wait for preliminary tests to be done first. Apparently they can also x Ray your Fallopian tubes using special dye to check for any blockages that may not show up on an ultrasound.
I hope you find some answers, it must be such a disheartening thing to go through, but fingers crossed they'll find a solution for you :) good luck xx
Hi. There I'm sorry to hear you being having a hard time. I would encourage that both of you go and see the doctor. As mysteron said it's not necessarily that you have an issue it could be your husband. Or as is often the case it's just bad luck.
Usually they have a general chat with you first. Find out about your overall health, periods, STIs, does your husband have kids, any medication, frequency of sex etc. Have you spoken to any members of your family about any family history of gynae or fertility problems? I know sometime that can be difficult to broach the topic. But the doctors will ask about it.
Depending on what you say will help guide what tests they do. Usually have quick feel of your tummy. May do things like take your height and weight. Cos if your BMI too high or low can effect your ability to get pregnant. Are you okay with blood test? That's can be one of the most helpful things is to check your hormone levels. Often a sperm sample will be requested. What is it about smears that worries you?
It is worth writing down your questions you wanna ask before you go. Often by the time you get there you forgot what you wanna ask. Depending on how your GP works you may have to see them again. Once to get the ball rolling. The second after a couple tests to go over results.
I hope that wasn't too much info. Please keep us posted on things.
My sister went through this. First they are going to want to.make sure you are ovulating and check overall heath and hormone levels. May be asked to track your cycle / blood test. You may need to do a smear, it's more award than painful and you may also need an ultrasound review to rule out cysts or blocksge.
Also need to rule out your partners sperm count being a potential issue so he may need to submit a sample.
My sister went on fertility medication to help her ovulate. Then it was also discovered something in the pH balance if her body was literally making her partners sperm get killed off / immobile. They opted for a simple artifical insemination where the doctor inserted the sperm at the right time with a turkey baster type device.
After all that she joked she didn't need birth control and boom they conceived again with no intervention. Stay positive and open minded and seeing a doctor is a positive first step.
I had a blood test to check my thyroids and other hormonal levels. It found I had one of the ones being a bit lower than it should've been for an easy conception. Basically I was offered IVF in a few years if I still didn't conceive. I managed to have my lo MAy, when I basically had given up and decided to focus on other things, so maybe the stress of it over the past 6years of planning etc was what was lowering the hormones? I dunno.
F.W that's the blood test I went for a few months in a row too, showed I was ovulating still even though my period had stopped, just a few other bits that may of been causing the problem.
I have never been in this situation, but I have friend, who is. Him and his wife been having unprotected sex for like 3 years now, but they were not like really trying. But both really want a kid, so they need to get it check.
I dont know the results, but I know he had to go for a sperm check - count and also if the sperms are mobile enough and of enough quality. She had to go for blood tests, and also check that everything is all right, as she did have miscarriage at the beginning of their relationship.
One problem for them could be that she is working more than most people do and is refusing to stop. So it could be that her body is preventing pregnancy due to stress. Since some women, me including, can lose menstruation for given time when under lot of stress, then stress can cause infertility issues. More relaxation or not focusing on not getting pregnant may help. There are cases of women who only got pregnant once they stopped focusing so much on their main goal to get pregnant. So focus more on the sex for pleasure than like some women do on demand when they are ovulating.
I wish you all the best and that you will get pregnant and have the kid you want!
I have never been in this situation, but I have friend, who is. Him and his wife been having unprotected sex for like 3 years now, but they were not like really trying. But both really want a kid, so they need to get it check.
I dont know the results, but I know he had to go for a sperm check - count and also if the sperms are mobile enough and of enough quality. She had to go for blood tests, and also check that everything is all right, as she did have miscarriage at the beginning of their relationship.
One problem for them could be that she is working more than most people do and is refusing to stop. So it could be that her body is preventing pregnancy due to stress. Since some women, me including, can lose menstruation for given time when under lot of stress, then stress can cause infertility issues. More relaxation or not focusing on not getting pregnant may help. There are cases of women who only got pregnant once they stopped focusing so much on their main goal to get pregnant. So focus more on the sex for pleasure than like some women do on demand when they are ovulating.
I wish you all the best and that you will get pregnant and have the kid you want!
I couldn't agree more with the above comments . When we were trying for a kid I tore up all the charts and callender guides as it weas adding to much pressure and felt more like a "job" we had to do at set times etc.
We went back to our normal routine of enjoying each others company including sex including nights away . Sexy lingerie and costumes were the order of the day and not charts and perhaps twice a week or 3 times at the most .
It didn't take long after this and within 2 months the blue line that we wanted to see appeared.
Firstly I am sorry to hear this , it can be a very emtional and stressful time . I know as we are also infertile.( me and my fiance)
So steps I have taken so far are booked with GP , they reffered my contact information the local fertility associaton who called to arrange an appointment ... This wait can be around 6-8 weeks
In the mean time I was booked in for blood tests for my ovulation , in total I have had 4 to see how regular I am. The appointment came through and this was a consulatation, we wnet over history , current health and how long we have been trying etc. I also had an internal scan , this was done at the same clinic and showed issues with overies. However not deeming me 100% infertile. Unfortunately the issue is with my partner and antibodies in his sperm. He has had 3 sperm samples done in the same clinic.
This process has been ongoing for 7 months now as they need to be certain on ovulation and sperm , because of the sperm cycle too.
We are now nearing the end of this whole process with our option leaning to ICIS IVF , however one last test in the new year and another eamination on me to ensure my tubes are not blocked to start this process.
However in the whole process the clinic has always said you never know , keep trying and there they can never be 100% ob anything with this type of thing.
My best advice is have fun , dont get stressed , stay positive with each other , stay strong and dont let it come between you . Also they offer free counselling , my advise is take it . Its always good to get it all out
Breaks my heart reading some of your situations, I wish you all the best and hope you all become parents. My sister was told she wouldn't have children. She is now the proud mummy to two beautiful girls. Xx
Breaks my heart reading some of your situations, I wish you all the best and hope you all become parents. My sister was told she wouldn't have children. She is now the proud mummy to two beautiful girls. Xx
Thats a great example of why you should never give up and keep on loving each other .
Similar story to CLTSTU as my Aunt was told she wouldn't be able to have children, but she's here a few years later with three daughters. I can't offer any practical advice other than what has already been said, but I wish you the best of luck figuring it out with your Doctor and I hope there's a way around whatever the issue may be. Xx
Breaks my heart reading some of your situations, I wish you all the best and hope you all become parents. My sister was told she wouldn't have children. She is now the proud mummy to two beautiful girls. Xx
Thats a great example of why you should never give up and keep on loving each other .
Absolutely and that is somrthing to always remember and do not put too much stress on yourselves
My mum was told she would never have children by multiple doctors, and was diagnosed with endometriosis. She underwent IVF 4 times (each unsuccessful) and had uterus injections daily for 5 years. She tried everything possible and after 8 years trying she got a phonecall from the doctor telling her she was pregnant and to stop all treatment. I hope this gives you some hope that when it seems it won't happen it surprises you & happens, don't give up ^_^
I've been tested for endometriosis and results were inconclusive & even though I'm 20 it worries me I might not be able to have children as I think I've found someone I'd like to have children with, especially when he's said I'd make a good mother Xx
That must've been so heartbreaking for your mum and those daily injections sound terrifying. 8 years was a long time and I'm sure it seemed even longer to her :/
I'll keep everything crossed that you get positive answers from the docs. I've no experience with endometriosis but it sounds horrible and of course the possible infertility is heartbreaking but I hope when you come to start trying you have no problems, I'm sure one day you will make a great mum. xx
I haven't been through fertility testing myself, but I did look in to similar testing after I had my miscarriage.
I think it's most likely they'll start with a blood test to measure your hormones, it helps if you've been tracking your cycles as it will help determine the window for testing. I think they usually test to see if you've been ovulating, and whether you produce enough progesterone or if you're suffering from oestrogen dominance etc. Obviously sperm tests are also top of the list, as like you say, it's non invasive and many sperm problems can be sorted out.
They may refer you for an ultrasound just to check your physical anatomy and make sure there's no growths or cysts, it depends though. Some doctors are quite happy to do this and others prefer to wait for preliminary tests to be done first. Apparently they can also x Ray your Fallopian tubes using special dye to check for any blockages that may not show up on an ultrasound.
I hope you find some answers, it must be such a disheartening thing to go through, but fingers crossed they'll find a solution for you :) good luck xx
Thankfully all those tests don't sound scary and sound like things I could handle! I have started using the Kindara app a month ago after seeing you mention it in a previous post and bought myself a basal thermometer to measure my temp and even in that one month I've learnt so much about my body and my cycle so I've found it extremely useful so far. Thank you xx
Hi. There I'm sorry to hear you being having a hard time. I would encourage that both of you go and see the doctor. As mysteron said it's not necessarily that you have an issue it could be your husband. Or as is often the case it's just bad luck.
Usually they have a general chat with you first. Find out about your overall health, periods, STIs, does your husband have kids, any medication, frequency of sex etc. Have you spoken to any members of your family about any family history of gynae or fertility problems? I know sometime that can be difficult to broach the topic. But the doctors will ask about it.
Depending on what you say will help guide what tests they do. Usually have quick feel of your tummy. May do things like take your height and weight. Cos if your BMI too high or low can effect your ability to get pregnant. Are you okay with blood test? That's can be one of the most helpful things is to check your hormone levels. Often a sperm sample will be requested. What is it about smears that worries you?
It is worth writing down your questions you wanna ask before you go. Often by the time you get there you forgot what you wanna ask. Depending on how your GP works you may have to see them again. Once to get the ball rolling. The second after a couple tests to go over results.
I hope that wasn't too much info. Please keep us posted on things.
Not too much info at all! Thank you for your reply :) The women in my family have always been really fertile, my mum and sister always joke that they'd only have to look at sperm to get pregnant lol. My mum had/has gynae problems but all resulting from childbirth rather than being there before. I'm fine with blood tests and I guess the thought of a smear scares me just because I know it would be awkward and uncomfortable. It's silly I know but until I've actually had a smear and survived it the thought of them will probably continue to scare me haha. x