OK people , ponder this . My wife had suggested I get a fuck buddy , but she does not want to know about it . I have not . I am not sexting with anyone , but find it an interesting possibility . I have been a flirt forever and she is aware of it and has no problem with it . I have read through many replies that say it is cheating if spouse does not know about it . So in my case since my wife suggested I get a fuck buddy and does not want to know about it , would sexting be any different ?
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It wouldn’t be cheating. I disagree that a partner has to know for it not to be cheating. As long as it is within the boundaries of the relationship, then it shouldn’t be classed as cheating. For some people, that boundary will be knowing about what is going on, whereas others are happy not to know the specifics.
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@Oldman , I agree completely with @Calie . Within the context of your relationship, no, that is not cheating because your wife gave you permission/told you to do it. I would place sexting within your agreed boundaries. I think the difficulty becomes that (from other posts you’ve written and I may be well off so please correct me if I’m wrong) your wife wants you to find someone with whom you are sexually satisfied but probably doesn’t want you forming a strong emotional relationship with that person. Lines in that situation blur a bit, if you can keep the sexting purely sexual and the same with any further physical contact, great. If you risk growing stronger feelings towards your potential sexting/fuck buddy it gets risky.
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I say definitely. If my partner were to start sexting another woman, it would immediately make me feel like im not good enough which means hes gotta look for pleasure elsewhere. I would never even consider doing this in a relationship.
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It’s already agreed by your OH, you have carte blanche.
No knowledge here implies that you’re doing something your partner wouldn’t approve of.
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100% yes
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I’d deffo say yours is an ‘ok’ version of sexting based on the fact you’ve got the go ahead for an extra partner.
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One podcast called it “Micro-cheating”…
However, if you can’t give your phone to your SO without getting a stomach ache wondering what they will find, you’re cheating…
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Could you just not sexting with your partner?
It’s a bit cheating, might not be seen as cheating but is taking up your energy thoughts and time so best to aim that at your partner.
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Cheating is whatever you are not allowed to do, it’s not like you can pull some kind of universal agreement and your partner will not be mad at you / leave you.
If you are unsure, ask. It’s the only way of really knowing if there is something your partner is ok with you doing.
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I know this has been covered already, but cheating is whatever isn’t allowable under the confines of your relationship.
I had one ex who was happy for me to sext, have sex with other women, whatever I wanted - so long as I didn’t catch feelings.
I had another ex who would consider it cheating if I even thought about another woman.
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I personally wouldn’t say so. Penetration is.
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If your partner doesn’t know about it then it most certainly is. If you are actually hiding it from your partner then you know yourself its wrong.
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doing something in secret from your partner, that you know would upset them …
answers itself …
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Definitely cheating
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Not if you have permission from your partner and definitely not if it’s your partner your sexting with
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