@drippingwet
I am all for experimenting with toys etc, but to some men I think they see it as a slight on their sexual prowess. They feel that " is my body and technique not satisfying you, am I not enough."
I have heard guys saying, my wife doesn’t need a vibrator, with the equipment I have. For them it is a big macho thing. This may not be the case with your partner, but a sit down chat away from the bedroom may help.
Tell him you love his body, but his penis doesn’t oscillate 300 times a second… and neither does your tongue on his bits… reassure him that toys are for everyone , solo or as couples together.
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I’m male, and was in a similar situation, although other the last few years Mrs_Kink has appeared!
I think as @WillC says, some men view toys as a threat, it can affect their ego and confidence and in turn affect performance and sex drive. It’s a complicated thing as we are all human and unique.
I’d say first things first, some open conversations at the right time with Mr Vanilla around things like fantasies and turn ons. Does he watch porn? Did he watch porn? If so, what type of thing got him going.
Also I would suggest some out the box thinking perhaps may also help. If he is threatened by things that buzz and please you, look at alternatives. Maybe dressing up? Role play? Tie and tease? Sensual all over massage with oils and a kinky twist? Sensory play with blindfolds, ticklers and such like. Maybe see if he would like to spank you a little?
Could even dress up whilst he is working, send him a pic and let him know you’re ready and waiting for him. Appeal to his ego and make him feel wanted and desired, and he may let out a few of his inner desires that may be held back. Take little steps and see if he resists, I’m sure if you dangle a little temptation here and there he’ll follow.
I know from Mrs Kinks experience, there was a lot of vulnerability on her part. We didn’t rush anything, all was done in her time, and if she felt uncomfortable I just tried to hold her and be with her, and take a step back.
Of course, this is a male/female scenario rather than your female/male - and us men (big generalization - and of course does not apply to all men) do not like showing or accepting we are vulnerable, the alpha comes out and we reassert ourselves and all that macho stuff.
I’m sure you’ll figure out the best approach as you know him better than anyone.
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That was @Iwill not me, but i agree, some blokes think toys are replacing them not supplementing them, i think it’s a confidence/ego thing. It’s a shame they’re so insecure as they’re missing out on a lot of pleasure.
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My hubby was VERY vanilla and if not encouraged will easily slip back into old ways but I love my toys and restraints and impact toys. It took a long time to get him to let go abit. He still likes me blindfolded though when we scene which is fine with me if that’s how he is comfortable. It took alot of talking though before he was comfortable stepping out of his comfort zone. We now have a vast array of lingerie, toys and implements etc. Communication is key.
Some people though just don’t like toys or anything outside of the ‘norm’ which is also fine. I would just say to have a talk with him outside of the bedroom, but if he’s adamant he doesn’t want to, you may have to accept that.
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Will teach me to check which Will I have tagged! Sorry Not a problem! 
It’s a tricky situation. I had the nicest husband but after 5 years of what you are experiencing i had to give up. He would not talk about it or try to be more adventurous.
15 years on we still live together as friends with absolutely no sexual relationship and live separate lives. I’ve enjoyed 10 years of exciting lovers and now have a partner of 1 year who takes me place’s i never knew existed . People underestimate sex and it’s importance leading to all different levels mental and physical health included. Id think of all other avenues ( counselling maybe) . But hope you find happiness.
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Love this yes so true. I don’t want him to think this because he does satisfy me when it’s just him but it can be fun to try new things and experience new sensations.
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Thank for all your suggestions. I’m hoping to have a sit down chat and see if there is anything he would like to try. Possibly try things that don’t involve toys but just switch things up.
I’m probably more the Kink than my wife…she was very vanilla, but now has pet names for some toys, indulges in solo play and has embraced certain types of porn and become more comfortable with oral ( giving)… this only came from open conversations . Like so many things in life, communication is so important.
Keep at it and I’m sure you will bring him in to line with your level of Kink… have fun and keep us all posted on your progress. 
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I’m with you there girl! My partner was very vanilla at first, but I slowly started to do something kinky whilst he was cumming, like a hand around the throat or a nice slap to the cheek. When you do something whilst the other is coming, after a while, they begin to enjoy the idea of that. I slowly introduced him to bondage and now we are kinky asf! Tread lightly though, if he gets upset the first time, don’t do it again xx
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That’s a good idea. I’ll have to try that. It does sound like a lot of people are saying just give it time and lots of communication. Thank you!
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Consent is important. I’m not sure springing something like that on someone in the moment is the best advice. Perhaps have a chat beforehand about what each other’s limits are, and decide on a safeword so no one goes too far.
Sex is supposed to be fun. If someone randomly slapped me in the face when I was cumming I would be most annoyed. Even more so if it was Mrs Chimp.
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I most defiantly wouldn’t be slapping him but maybe some biting or playing with his nipples. Something low key but a little bit out of his comfort zone to start. I do plan on having a conversation with him this weekend and try to get to the bottom of why he is so hesitant to try new things.
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The first time I did it we did have a conversation about spontaneous sex and introducing new things, he liked the idea but he didn’t know how to introduce it. And the night before he told me he wanted me to slap him so I did
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That’s a pretty important detail to leave out. It sounds like he was at least willing to give it a go, and hopefully he enjoyed the reality as much as the fantasy.
Slapping/smacking/impact play and throat grabbing are quite marmite stimulation types, and some people will react very badly if they occur spontaneously during playtime. It’s always worth making sure of a partner’s willingness to include them beforehand so you don’t ruin a nice time. 
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Try when kissing his neck having a little bite and also nibbling his ear lobes and a little tweak of the nipples nothing too hard if your riding him or even if you go down on him
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I agree, definitely should have mentioned the consent part of it all 
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I’ve recently tried to get my husband to open up and talk about sex more. This has been a result of my sex drive suddenly returning after years of being very low. We haven’t prioritised sex at all over the last six years, so it’s like having sex is all new again.
Initially I started with a bit of sexual innuendo during the day just as a playful way of getting him in the mindset. When I tried starting a conversation about sex, he seemed quite surprised, as we aren’t used to talking about it so introducing new things seemed a big leap. I also think we are both vanilla, but I would like to try bondage, just to see if it’s a turn on.
Over the last few months as we both got used to having regular sex again, we have been able to connect better and then the conversations about sex seem to flow easier. He still hasn’t opened up to me about fantasies, to be fair, I haven’t shared mine apart from wanting to peg him. However, I have dressed up for him in sexy lingerie and he let me put a finger in his ass, so I feel like we are starting to experiment more, it’s just me who is doing all the initiating. I don’t mind this though as I tend to be the more dominant one.
I’ve recently bought some toys too to try. I showed the husband the vibrating cock ring I’d bought for us when it arrived on Friday, he kind of raised his eyebrows and said ‘ok!’. We haven’t tried it out yet, as I’m wary of rushing things and overwhelming him.
Perhaps a slow approach may work for you both? 
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Speaking as a fairly average bloke, I think some guys see certain sexual activities as being at odds with their own macho self image.
Once they start to loosen up, their imagination kicks in and the previous attitudes relax
My wife and I certainly have broadened our attitudes compared to when first married.
Toys, lubes ,sexy lingerie, alfresco sex, have come along with the changes in attitude.
Tell him there would be nothing worse than looking back when older and saying " I wish we had." … grab the moment and just enjoy the experiences.
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