Ladies, does your bloke know how much you use your toys or play alone?

I moved in with my boyfriend a few weeks ago from my parents and took my toys along with me :) He never knew about them before as we never really got chance to use them together as there was always someone around to spoil the fun.

Since he found my vibrator hes been asking if I stil need to use it and play on my own since we moved in like I might have given it up! I actually prefer masturbating in private rather than in front of somebody so am embarrssed to tell him all the details.

Does your partner know how often you play alone or use your toys or would you mind telling them?

I think it depends on your relationship, i know i have struggled to introduce toys into previous relationships, but know seem more at ease. There's nothing wrong with using regularly to be honest, if you are happy it makes a happy relationship

Sarah you need to reasure your man that just because you use your toys doesnt reflect on him at all, I hear this often from my readers on my site and so many are not sure how to introduce toys into the relationship or respond to jealous boyfriends.

I agree with Avrielle its healthy and nothing wrong with it. You are learning all the time about your body..hey Im still learning now. By trying different design toys you get to learn about your orgasms ands what works for you; so its benefitting him in the long run.

Talk to him and reasure him its natural, get him to use it on you.

I have been using sextoys for years ands would never stop using them and I have been with my partner for 25 years. He encourages me to use my toys even buying me special ones.

His quite happy in knowing that I use my toys wether his there to watch or not, it doesnt reflect on our relationship at all. Most the time he joins in and loves to take control using them on me.

You need to encourage your boyfriend to use them to enhance foreplay and general sex with each other, maybe buy him a cockring or masterbator sleeve so you can share these together.

I would be quite happy for my OH to use toys when Im not there, at least his not off finding another girl.

Goodluck hun its all a learning curve for the both of you.


My boyfriend knows about all the toys I own, he knows I use them when he is on holiday or out with his mates but I don't think he realises I use them nearly every day! Whether he is in the house or not! lol

I don't hide the fact I use them, but most of the time my toys are reserved for me time! He occasionally gets them out to use during foreplay and really enjoys them. But most of the time sex toys don't cross his mind!

I've introduced him to stokers and tenga eggs and he enjoys them when we first use them but then they get stuck in a draw!

I guess he sees it as theres a time and a place for sex toys, he has to be in the mood. However I use them all the time and it has never bothered him :)

x x x

two or 3 times a week and she does know and doesn't care i don't now how much she uses her on her own but allways uses hers with me and sometimes onme too yummy

I NEVER use toys on my own am I normal ha ha ha!

I just do it the good old fashioned way - with my hands lol. We reserve toys especially for when we are together. x

oh well whatever turns you both on is good

Yeah, most men don't always realise that us ladies having private time isn't a reflection of our sex lives.

Took a while for my OH to realise this. Now he wishes I'd share my private sessions with him. But often, I like the alone time. Totally normal. Find him something else to share in...

I don't know exactly how often my wife uses toys or plays on her own, because I've encouraged her to do this whenever she feels like it whether or not I'm around. As I mentioned in another thread, I've gone as far as to set her up with opportunities to have some fun on her own -- for example, while I go out to get some shopping. I've also told her that I look forward to catching her in the act, and that I'll be very pleased (and aroused) by this. She's definitely got the message, and often tries to be caught. It's no threat to me -- indeed, it's often the prelude to great follow-up sex.

Cuddly Hubby wrote:

I've also told her that I look forward to catching her in the act, and that I'll be very pleased (and aroused) by this.

Ooh, I like this idea...

Likewise I positively encourage my OH to use toys when i'm not around. I like to know about it, but only because its a turn on, I have no problem with her enjoying herself for whatever reason.

That said, we discovered toys together so I don't know if that makes a difference?

sanda wrote:

Ooh, I like this idea...

Great! We tend to build in a bit of play-acting around this. I hear moans, and go up to the bedroom to discover my wife under the duvet. She acts coy and guilty, so I yank back the duvet to uncover her activities. She stops and tries to conceal herself, but I order her to continue. I then give her a running commentary on how great she's looking and what it's doing to me, which seems to encourage her even more.

sanda wrote:

That said, we discovered toys together so I don't know if that makes a difference?

I think it might do. I introduced toys to my wife after we'd been together for several years, and we gradually built up our collection following our early successes with them.

OMG - you ladies play alone!!! ;)

my OH knows all the toys i have as we use them anyway, he knows i use them on my own, i sometimes tell him when he gets home if he worked late that when i got in from work ive had a play, this arouses him, and also like above i make sure sometimes i do it so he catches me doing it

dont see the point in hiding it from him

no more fun letting them know later makes for more fun

the act of catching you doing it would sure make him explode Rach74 ;)

oh yes Scarlet he loves that

i'm not surprised sounds amazing x

OH likes to know when I'm playing and I happily share what I am upto! I like knowing it makes him all hot and bothered! I've also started playing more during sex


My ex partner knew I had toys and used them alone. In the end after 8 years together and several married things were going downhill between us and he decided to lock all my toys away in an attempt to deprive me.

Let me put it this way. I still have my toys, and any new squeeze will know very early on that playing Solo isnt compensating, neither is it something I will give up for his insecurities.