My wife very rarely, if ever, masturbates. I wonder why this is and think it’s about being a little bit repressed. I wish she would relax and allow herself that pleasure. Any ideas to explore this subject with her?
Hi Hubby. A few questions. Do you use toys together? Or does she ever use them alone? I think you should maybe have a conversation with her. However maybe it's just not something she is interested in. Everyone has different sex drives - and this will change due to other factors too (rambling now) have a chat but if it's not her thing then I wouldn't see that as an issue for you both.
Thanks Mrs John. We do use toys and we have chatted about it. I think she prefers me there, which is a lovely compliment!
Totally agree that is a compliment, better than the other way around. I have a solo play most days but 100% enjoy anything with my Husband more.
Hi Hubby, what about asking if she would play with herself so that you can watch and step in and take the reins when she is excited or you can't resist anymore. If it works she might start enjoying herself without you there.
I was very nervous about masterbating till I met my now hubby. He asked me to once while he watched and I did. Now I would say I do it at least once a day sometimes with his permission and sometimes without. I love him to catch me the thrill is great.
But take it slowly with her and hopefully she will come round to the idea.
she is missing out. however she needs to arrive at the decision to do it herself. but you can by all means 'plant a seed' as in, discussing masturbation, would you like to watch her play with herself? how about using toys on her? then suggest she can use it while you're away?
Are you sure she doesnt or could it be she doesnt want to say?
When I first got with my partner many years ago, I never told him I masturbated. I usually done it when he was at work and would always deny it if he ever asked. It took years to admit it ( even though I knew it was normal and most women also do it ) and it was only when we started to be a dom/sub relationship that I actually had to come out with it.
I think the best thing is to ask her why she doesnt. And you have to respect her decision If she just doesnt like it
I did - It tailed off once I became sexually active with others (which was late) and since then I very rarely have - my tastes and techniques have changed, I guess, because I love using toys for solo sessions instead of fingers now: does that count? I use toys with my OH too, and love it when he does the fingerwork... Everyone is different and everyone changes, so if your wife wants to then do encourage her (she might wonder how you might feel about it), but she might equally be happy with the way things are. Using toys together and buying her something like a bullet might be way forward, if it appeals to her. If it doesn't and you are otherwise happy, I'd leave it be!
Just a thought... when women masturbate, with toys or not, the focus is often on external / clitoral stimulation. Encouraging your wife to experience even more pleasure this way could enhance things for both of you. Try building more of it into your time as a couple. You probably already do, but some women need a lot! If you build 30 mins of this sort of stimulation into your longer routine, she might be tempted to explore further... appologies if I'm saying what you already know.
I always thought that women didn’t really do that too. And it was all about the big O through penetration alone. And then I realised/ discussion occurred that obviously this turns my husband on and he like to be involved and help or is happy just watching. Solo play is an important part of knowing how to pleasure yourself, and that’s ok. So maybe she just needs to realise that it’s ok and her confidence will grow, and when confidence grows you can go on amazing adventures together.
Hi Hubby. Why not suggest masturbating together. This is both intimate and highly arousing. Once you watch each other pleasuring yourselves you can have a conversation about how erotic the experience is, followed by the question of solo play. Once your partner realises how sexy and fulfilling doing this can be, she may be ready to give it a go on her own. Good luck!
Hi I started to masterbate at a the age of 20 may be a slow starter but sin0ce then I masturbated fairly regularly even tho I have regular I say thank goodness for sex toys however I wiil army fingers to start me off. I see no harm in this type of activity
My OH likes me to please myself and he loves to watch. Would never have done this BEFORE my OH but it seems he gets just as much pleasure from it as I do.
I used to masturbate a lot then I went on contraception and my sex drive plummeted. I have been birth control free for 2 years and my sex drive is sky high again. Is your wife on any contraception?
I haven’t yet played in front of my husband but I wouldn’t rule it out. He knows I play with Roger (rabbit ears) when he’s away/working nights. He loves it. However it took a long time to pluck up the courage to tell him/confirm his suspicions. I don’t know why. I guess I was embarrassed/shy almost?
I believe there is still a strong stigma that masturbation is for men and porn stars. In my opinion. So whilst I accepted hubby masturbated, especially in the dry spell, I didn't want to/couldn’t admit that I did/do 🤷🏻♀️
Give her time and send a message/email stating that it’s perfectly normal and ‘ok’ and that she doesn’t need your permission? Obviously don’t just send that but in the body/middle of a conversation maybe?
If she's aware that you post on this forum maybe show her some of the comments posted ? It's perfectly natural but if she's not into it you'll just have to accept that. I love to masturbate and having a partner watch/join in is a real turn on xx
We had an open and honest conversation a few years back due to me working away a lot we like to masturbate (me more than her) but to spice it up we often use video call so we can see each other... huge turn on
Sorry my point being that communication is an absolute must! Talk to her. If she doesn’t you’ll have to accept that! If she does encourage and show her how much you love that
How do you know she doesn’t I suspect my husband has no idea how often I pleasure myself I love nothing better than only me being in the house, use what I want, be as loud as I want. Perhaps you could buy her something I would suggest a clitoral stimulator and ask if could you use this on her then once she enjoys this perhaps ask her if you could watch her whilst you pleasure yourself. I will be honest I lead a very sheltered upbringing my mum recoiled in horror seeing anything suggestive and I probably suppressed myself to only enjoy sex however masturbation and toys have a big part in my life now.
I know Mrs DLPS plays with herself everyday, which I think is great, - plus she tells me. Doesn’t bother me at all.