I lost my virginity with my boyfriend. We have had sex four times and yesterday he said that he doesn’t really want to have sex with me anymore because it’s “shit” and that I’m boring in bed. He’s an honest person and can be very blunt, but that hurt my feelings. I know that I’m not the best in bed, but I’ve tried to talk to him before and after each session what I’m doing that he likes and doesn’t like so I thought I was getting better but apparently he says I ask him too many questions? He doesn’t like talking much about sex because he wants it to be as natural as possible, but then I’m just not as sure what to do.
Goodbye to the boyfriend and find someone hugely more respectful and learn together.. not with a selfish pig.. you deserve better
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Kylie, an older married man here, on my 2nd marriage, have children.
First, he was an ass to act in such a manner.
Now, getting away from him, please always keep this next point in mind.
With billions on the planet, each of us can find say 100 lovers who would think we are the best ever and conversely we could each find 100 lovers who would think we are the worst lovers ever.
Mind you, we are the same with the good group as we are with the bad group.
So you see, it’s not you, it’s him.
Compatibility is important in so many ways in a relationship, both in and out of the bedroom.
At least he let you know early on he is the NOT the one for you.
Do not take this personally.
None of us will ever be sexually compatible with everyone else out there.
We all need to learn things as we go along, in and out of the bedroom.
We can and all should learn from bad experiences too, just as we do from good experiences.
That guy is immature and he’s blaming you completely for this when he was there too.
And kudos to you for talking to him about the sex you had, about how it could improve etc.
You did just as you should have, he is the one who messed up royally here, not you.
I’m sorry he was that way to you. Let this roll off your back.
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Hello @KylieB and welcome to the forum 
Sounds like he has a very poor attitude. I would make his bum single, so fast.
Never let a man speak to you like that, regardless if he’s the blunt type of person - I would say you deserve better girl 
Edit; I want to add, you asking questions and talking about things, is how experience is gained. You are doing the right thing by trying to communicate with him.
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Hi,
Just jumping in to echo what others have said and to add that everyone develops and changes as they gain more experience, and also there are 2 of you involved in this, and he should be sharing this experience with you, guiding you to understand what feels good for him as you would need to guide him what feels good for you, that is if it’s worth the effort rather than moving on to someone who already understands that and will treat you with the respect you deserve.
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Ex-boyfriend. There, I fixed it for you.
I dated a guy with an attitude like his once, thought I should feel honoured to be with him. He used to mock my confidence, then one day I realised he did it because he didn’t have any - he was projecting his insecurities onto me, and making me feel bad.
I remember a time I was having.a bad day and needed someone who cared, he just said “that sounds like a you problem” - he thought he was hilarious. So when we broke up and he said he.missed me, I said “that sounds like a you problem” - I let him feel how it feels.
And they won’t get better, not until life forces them to. You ask questions because you care. Sweetheart, he doesn’t apprciate you, and he certainly doesn’t deserve you.
So kick his ass to the kerb - he tells you you’re shit in bed, tell him he’s shit as a partner. Tell him you never want to have sex with him again either, and here is the most important part - MEAN IT!
Do not be wooed by chocolates, flowers, teddy bears etc, that’s “vacuuming”. Dump him, cut all contact and move on. Have a glow up and find someone much better - I did, and you will too.
All the best.
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I won’t list the example, but my wife Heather did this for me with my ex-wife. Heather doesn’t really dislike many folks but she really does not like my ex-wife.
My ex-wife spoke up and was saying something about me and Heather shut her down immediately and hard by stating things my ex-wife did that was so much worse.
Heather wasn’t yelling or raising her voice. Heather knew what she was saying was right and that it would carry the day all by itself.
My ex-wife isn’t one to back down, but she knew she was cooked with what Heather said.
Heather didn’t waste time, she just cut her to the bone and was done with it.
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@KylieB even though this has been used on me…OFTEN…it really represents who hasa problem. He deserves the ghost! Oh and here’s another little phrase you could use… “Bless your heart.” and never look back.
Oh, and welcome to the forum.
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8 posts were merged into an existing topic: The Lounge
As others have said show him the door, and don’t let him back in, you deserve much better. Too bad you let that imbecile take your virginity, a special gift to give away. Be strong and find good friends and a more respectful next partner.
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Hey @KylieB I’m so sorry you’ve had such an awful experience.
To me it sounds like your boyfriend has a real attitude problem.
There’s no excuse for for him saying such horrible things to you, bluntness or not that’s just plain rude and unfeeling.
To be honest someone who thinks it acceptable to call sex with you “shit” or boring doesn’t deserve any more of your time.
And please don’t let this knock your confidence, there are still some lovely caring guys out there
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Single life is going to be much better for you, than to be with someone who has no idea how to be loving and knocking down your confidence.
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It is very disappointing your boyfriend has said such terrible things. In a loving relationship both of you learn and support each other. I think a long frank discussion is needed and then you can decide on your next move. Is there a chance he has watched porn and feels that is how partners should act. He should be made aware it is fake and not real life. Good luck.
Both me and my ex-wife have our virginity to each other. I can’t say it was a good move to get married as virgins, that brought it’s own issues, but certainly giving up the one thing that is so personal, and precious, to someone who doesn’t deserve and respect it seems very sad. I’m glad you got it right.
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I can only express what others have said, it’s not a reflection on you at all, it’s a reflection on him.
He’s not satisfied but is unwilling to talk about it to make it better for both of you? He’s not worth your time or energy.
There will be people out there who will be satisfied and will be over the moon that you’re open to discussion and communication.
Try and believe in your own value, because you are valuable (easier said than done I know) 
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You aren’t supposed to be a sex god after only having sex for the first time recently. He is the one in the wrong.
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Totally agree @BUSTYSTCLAIRE. You learn, about you and each other. Sex with my now husband was only so good at the start because we both had decent experience, both good and bad.
Don’t let him get comfortable with treating you like that. Get an upgrade. Get someone who wants to shag you and learn and grow with you. You can’t be with the right person whilst you’re with the wrong one.
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Sounds like you did things “as natural as possible” he probably doesn’t know what he’s doing and transferring the blame it to you ?
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@KylieB following on from my reply, I expect sex was great for you? it’s up to him to communicate in a better way to say what he likes. I agree with @BrokenEye.
Hi @KylieB and welcome to the group.
How experienced does he think he is?. It is so easy to declare boyfriend when he is obviously not true BF material. So sorry this has happened and blasted your confidence.